Reposted in honor of Mother’s Day. Originally published here in June 2009.
[Editor's note: I asked one of my favorite bloggers, Renee, who writes about race, gender and more on Womanist Musings, what she thought of the recent article on Racewire that said:

America is experiencing a single-mom boom. Federal health authorities report that about 40 percent of births in 2007 were to unmarried women, up from 34 percent in 2002.

Keeping with previous patterns, the highest rates and largest increases were seen in Black and Latino women. But the statistics diverge from some stereotypes, too. Compared to 1970, the portion of single-parent births by teenagers has declined steeply—a sign that more older women are deciding to have children without a husband. Researchers suggest several factors behind the trend, reports the Washington Post:

Following is Renee's response:]

One of the least valuable people on the planet is a black mother. Her gender and her race make her invisible unless an opportunity exists to exploit or marginalize her for gain. She is perceived as little more than a brood mare and often constructed as reproducing for the sake of either profiting from the system or trapping a man into subservience to her. Each generation she passes this legacy from her womb to her offspring and no matter her love or investment in her children, she is forever understood as lacking the wherewithal to raise responsible and successful citizens.

The capacity of Black women to love and nurture is only accorded respect when their energies are spent raising, and suckling white babies. Mammy speaks in soothing tones and is not threatening whereas; the Black mother has already proven to be a sexual being in her reproduction threatens to end the majority status of the White population. As 2050 quickly approaches and the balance of racial dynamics changes, whiteness fears that a loss of privilege will result from the blackness of the African American womb.

The patriarchal Black family has been under decline as eligible Black men have increasingly become incarcerated due to the racist prison industrial complex. Black women have been placed in the position of raising their children themselves and have been demonized for their efforts to hold their families together despite their attempts to create a positive environment for their children. In a society that understands family as consisting of the coupling of a man and a woman the single Black mother has been constructed as a social piranha. She has been held responsible for the men that abdicate their parental duties to be involved both financially and emotionally in the lives of their children.

Single motherhood is something that has been traditionally frowned upon because such a model subverts the patriarchal family. As part of the compromise for the exploitation men experience in the public sphere, the ability to wield a tyrant like authoritarian power has traditionally been granted within the household. The family, though constructed as the nurturing nest is quite often the very first place we experience oppression. Women and children are sacrificed to maintain male hegemony and capitalism continues to benefit from the long suffering flannel suit wearing masculinity that performs robotically because he has been given the responsibility of provider. Though the single wage earner family has rarely to never been the model of black families it is still presented as justification for the continued subservience of the Black woman.

In recent years with a rise in single motherhood, social shaming has become even more race divided. When Bristol Palin became pregnant she was not slut shamed in the way that she would have been had she been a young woman of color. She has gone on to be a spokesperson for abstinence proving that an identity that was once considered spoiled may be reformed if the person in question is white and exists with class privilege.

Angelina has been reborn as the worlds “earth mother,” reframing her public persona of vampy wild child, even though she is not married to her partner Brad Pitt. The two are the parents of several children and have not yet decided if their family is complete. A few scant years ago, Jolie would have not been able to use her maternity to change the ways in which her body is understood; however in a time when whiteness is undergoing a panic regarding fertility rates, a woman that is willing to devote herself to reproduction is celebrated.

When we place Jolie next to Erykah Badu; the black white binary reveals whose motherhood is valued. Badu as a successful artist is more than capable of caring financially for her children and yet her unmarried status is understood as problematic. She has been slut shamed in the court of public opinion with some going as far as to suggest that she needs to close her legs and take care of the children that she already has. How does her continued reproduction suggest that she is an unfit mother? The issue is never maternity, the issue is the race of the mother.

Some Black women are forced into single motherhood because of death, abandonment, or even the imprisonment of their partners and others wilfully choose this as a viable option in a world that teaches them that their bodies are worthless. As long as we continue to be a society that is determined to see difference as an indicator of value the maternity of Black women will continue to be understood as problematic

What would you like to discuss this week?

Half a day late on the post but with enough cuteness to make up for it: LIE reader Christy introduces us to her beautiful, joyous son Elias. What a cutie!

Got cute kids? Send their photos to us so that we can show them off!

From Balancing Jane

I truly can’t believe that I have to write what I’m about to write. Via a Sociological Images post by Bradley Koch, I found out about a KRAFT campaign for their new MilkBites, a snack that is “part milk, part granola.”

The campaign uses an anthropomorphized version of the MilkBite, a little male MilkBite named Mel. The series of commercials, which appear to be both TV spots and online-only “diary” entries to better introduce Mel, set him up as a confused character who “has issues.” Here’s his introduction.

His very first line, as he looks in the mirror is, “Who are you? What am I?” It’s followed by an introspective, “Maybe you’re nothing,” as he sits alone on a park bench. He tries to convince himself that’s not true: “I’m valuable.” But that positive assertion is immediately undercut when he is ignored by a waitress as he tries to get a refill. “Mel has issues” pops up on the screen, and then he’s back in front of the mirror. “Are you milk? Are you granola? What are you?” he asks himself. There’s a shot of him sitting on a couch and looking at a bowl of granola and a glass of milk (his parents, we’ll find out in a future commercial), then he’s back at the mirror. “I don’t know.”

The campaign is clearly setting Mel up as a biracial character, and its using that biracialism as a source of anxiety and confusion. As Koch writes:

The problem with a marketing campaign like this is that it trivializes the experience of people with multiple racial/ethnic identities who are still often met with derision and confusion. The first ad above perpetuates the self-fulfilling prophecy about “confused” identities. As a child, I remember family members telling me that they didn’t have a problem with interracial couples but worried about how others might react to their children.

I completely agree that those are problematic aspects that are blatantly present in this campaign, but I’m also going to go one further. Not only does KRAFT use the construction of a biracial identity (of which there aren’t really a lot of pop culture displays to begin with) in a way that perpetuates stereotypes about “confused” identities and the tragic mulatto myth, but–upon a closer examination of the commercials–I also think they’re using that trope to perpetuate a narrative of white supremacy.

Petition: Mass School Electrocutes Blind Girl [Change.org]

In 2002, a special needs student named Andre McCollins was allegedly strapped down and electrocuted for hours, leaving him with permanent brain damage, all because he refused to take off his jacket. The people torturing Andre were officials at his school. You can watch what happened on video.

The video was shot at a Massachusetts school for special needs kids called the Judge Rotenberg Center (JRC). Gregory Miller used to be a teacher there, and he says electrocuting kids as punishment is extremely common — even for minor offenses like raising your hand to go to the bathroom.

“A non-verbal, nearly blind girl with cerebral palsy was shocked for attempts to hold a staff member’s hand — her attempts to communicate and to be loved,” Gregory says.

Gregory desperately wants to help the kids at the JRC –that’s why he started a petition on Change.org demanding that the JRC stop using electroshock to punish kids. Click here to add your name.

Gregory says the JRC’s founder created electroshock devices which are even stronger than police stun guns to punish students for bad behavior. An official at the United Nations said that using these devices on children is considered torture.

According to the Boston Globe, the JRC’s founder resigned after being charged with misleading a grand jury by destroying video footage of other students being shocked.

Gregory believes that if thousands of people sign his petition, his former bosses will capitulate in the intense pressure generated by a national spotlight.

African Orphan Now Ballerina [ABC News]

[This is an amazing young woman, and I wanted to post here not only because of her achievements, but because of what she has to say about racism and colorism, as well as the implication that vitiligo has played some part in her path. A warning, though: I find the journalist patronizing, and some of her characterizations offensive--Julia]

The designer baby factory: Eggs from beautiful Eastern Europeans, sperm from wealthy Westerners and embryos implanted in desperate women [Mail Online]

Nominally, this forlorn place is a care home for surrogate mothers — at least that is how it is described by the company that runs it, Wyzax Surrogacy Consultancy, which is cashing in on India’s booming new babies-for-sale business.

It boasts of being the country’s first ‘one-stop shop for outsourced pregnancy’. In truth, though, it is nothing less than a baby factory; the end of a grim production line on which children are being designed to order for wealthy couples, mainly from Western countries including Britain, as if they were custom-built cars.

Indeed, as I have discovered during an eye-opening three-week investigation into India’s burgeoning, billion-dollar surrogacy industry, the motor-manufacturing analogy is all too apt.

Adopted or Abducted? [Dan Rather Reports/HDNet]

An investigation into claims by women that they were forced to put their babies up for adoption, many with the knowledge and support of Catholic Charities. It has been a little discussed practice for decades but this special hour-long program will remove the veil of secrecy that has led to emotional trauma for unwed mothers around the world.

In reporting this story, we reached out to the largest maternity home providers in America of the “baby-scoop” era for comment. These organizations had oversight on the policies and practices that led to so-called forced adoptions.

Inside Ethiopia’s Adoption Boom [Wall Street Journal]

The experience recounted by Mel’s biological father, Mathewos Delebo, shows many of the complexities. Mr. Delebo, a 38-year-old farmer, acknowledges freely giving up his youngest child for adoption. Earlier this year, in the mud-hut village of Le-barfeta in southeastern Ethiopia where he lives, he described why he did it.

Four years ago, he claimed, a stranger—a middleman in the adoption trade—came to his village and persuaded him to give up a child with the promise that she would grow up and send money to support him. “White people are taking children of the poor and helping them get a better life,” Mr. Delebo said he was told. “It will be good for you.”

Mr. Delebo claimed he didn’t understand that he was giving up Mel for good, and thought that she would send money home. Mr. Delebo doesn’t recall the middleman’s name and hasn’t seen him for years.

h/t Racialicious

What’s on your mind today?

LIE reader Patti says, “You’ve seen this guy before but the cuteness doesn’t stop. Mesfin, age 5, my Buddhist robot-nerd.” I love the whole get-up! (Patti, I give you extra points for innovative use of suspenders!)

Got cute kids? Send their photos to us so we can show them off for you!

The floor is yours…

It’s Thursday, time for another gratuitous cute kid pic!

Here’s LIE reader Heather’s 5-year-old son Aiden. What a cutie! And you gotta love the crown!

Got cute kids? Send us their photos so we can show them off!

Don’t White People Kill Each Other Too? [The Root]

In fact, all races share similar ratios. Yet there’s no outrage or racialized debate about “white on white” violence. Instead, the myth and associated fear of “black on black” crime is sold as a legitimate, mainstream descriptive and becomes American status quo.

The truth? As the largest racial group, whites commit the majority of crimes in America. In particular, whites are responsible for the vast majority of violent crimes. With respect to aggravated assault, whites led blacks 2-1 in arrests; in forcible-rape cases, whites led all racial and ethnic groups by more than 2-1. And in larceny theft, whites led blacks, again, more than 2-1.

Given this mathematical truth, would anyone encourage African Americans to begin shooting suspicious white males in their neighborhoods for fear that they’ll be raped, assaulted or murdered? Perhaps George Zimmerman’s defenders should answer that question. If African Americans were to act as irrationally as Zimmerman did, would any rationale suffice to avoid arrest?

And why is no consideration given to the fact that Trayvon Martin, and millions of black boys and girls like him, harbor a reasonably founded fear of whites but are hardly ever provided the deference and dignity that victimhood affords?

Trayvon Martin: The Problem with the ‘Some of My Best Friends Are Black’ Defense [Time]

Perhaps even more surprisingly, a 2011 study specifically looking at the impact of interracial friendship on white concern about local crime found that when white people have close relationships with black people, their concerns about crime actually increase. More broadly, when scholars have studied the racial beliefs, feelings and policy views of whites who have contact with blacks as friends, acquaintances or neighbors, they consistently find that the negative racial perceptions of those whites are substantially similar to the perceptions of whites who have no black friends. Friendship with black people — and even being a black person — does nothing to change racial bias. Indeed, almost one-third of black people hold similarly negative views.

This isn’t just an academic subject to me; it’s deeply personal. Growing up, my son was pretty much the only close black friend that any of his white friends had. He had other black friends, but he was the only black male in AP and honors classes at his prep school, and for most of his soccer career, the only black player on his travel team.

His high school soccer career ended when one of his teammates screamed “Stop that n—–!” from the sidelines, referring to the opposing team’s star player. When my son took offense, the coach, who had known him since he was 10, told him he was overreacting. My son’s “friend” who did the hollering said, “But I wasn’t talking about you. I don’t think of you that way.” But how that teammate would characterize my son did not extend to the unknown black player on the field.

Tell us what’s on your mind this week.

LIE reader Katie notes of her darling daughter: “Nora just turned 5 and loves hammin’ it up for the camera.” Those glasses are too much!

Got cute kids? We know you do! Send pics to team@loveisntenough.com so we can show them off for you!

Dear Trayvon [by DL Hughley] [Huffington Post]

I cannot help but wonder how people would have remembered me had my life been cut short at 17. I feel a profound sense of loss when I think of you ,Trayvon. Not only as a black man but as a father and a human being. I’m sad that the world will never know what you would have become. Your parents will never get to experience the joy of watching you graduate from high school or college. They will never get to see you come into your own as a man. Perhaps you would have grown into a “thug” or a “criminal.” I am not naïve enough to be unaware of the myriad of possibilities. But you had every right to grow up and make those decisions for yourself and that right was taken away from you the same night your life was.

I once heard a man say “I am the man now the little boy I was always wanted to be.” I am sorry that you will never get to say the same thing. My sincerest wish is that if I am lucky and I live the rest of my life in a way that warrants God’s grace, I might run into you at some point and tell you how wonderful it is to finally meet you. For now all I or anyone else touched by this tragedy can do is to live for you. To make sure that your name does not fade into the night.

P.S. This letter to you was written in part by the daughter I would have never had if my life had been taken from me at 17.

Disrupting the Discourse and Discussing the Undiscussable [Huffington Post]

Yesterday as I was walking through Harvard Square, I saw a group of students demonstrating for justice for Trayvon Martin. Tourists, students and locals watched and listened as students from Harvard and Tufts stood in front of the crowds, which could be heard from several blocks away. The demonstration seemed more like a cry of pain than a conversation. Seeing this made me think more about this tragedy, but it didn’t help me figure out what I was supposed to do with my own feelings of anger about what happened to Trayvon.

I’m spending this year at Harvard Graduate School of Education where, with 36 other ambitious educators, I am in training to become a school leader. In our time together, I’ve struggled with how to discuss issues of race and class in our own cohort. As someone who is dedicated to building a school community that will prevent more tragedies like Trayvon’s, I have found my frustrations discouraging. If I am unsure of how to broach issues of race and class with my peers in the safety of my grad school classrooms, how will I be able to lead these conversations in a school?

Most of my peers have taught or worked in schools that serve primarily low-income students of color. We are (at least superficially) aware of the disadvantages that children of color face in the United States, probably more so than the average American.

But in our cohort of 37, we only have three African American men and four African American women. After graduation, most of us will be serving communities that are at least 50 percent black and Latino. As a white Jewish woman from New York, I can never really know what it is like to be black or Latino. I’m struggling to search for answers while simultaneously being careful not to turn to the few colored faces in the room to ask them to speak for an entire race (or several races).

On the Age and Innocence of Trayvon Martin [Ta-Nehisi Coates for the Atlantic]

The one above is one you might select to reflect your message that Martin was, indeed, a child. This message is actually true. I guess you could accuse Martin’s parents of sinisterly selecting a photo which reflects well on their son. But what you can’t really accuse them of is intentionally trying to deceive you by lowering the kids age. There’s very little difference–if any–between that picture above and the one we’ve seen on protest signs everywhere. There are other pictures which do look much different–a fact which simply proves that Martin, like many homo sapiens, appears different when subjected to the instruments and angles of photography.

It’s worth pointing that I have yet to see a single citation, matching age and photos, to back up the claim that we are all captives to dastardly manipulative plot. Even so, all it would prove is that we’ve seen a variety of photos of Trayvon Martin.

In this business, it is always best to speak to the purveyors of such arguments, in their native tongue. To wit:

I’m sorry that Trayvon Martin’s actual appearance obstructs your inalienable right to scandalize children. That you must are forced into cartwheels, and rendered ridiculous, all in the laudable quest to justify bias is the true tragedy, one which pales when compared to an actual death. If I have in any way, contributed to your travails, I hope that some day you will be wise enough, or simply human enough, to forgive.

Police Car Shot Up in Trayvon Martin’s Neighborhood [ABC News, via Southern Poverty Law Center]

A backlash has been growing, though, with distinct racist undertones.

In Detroit, far from the Florida town where Martin was shot and killed, drivers were shocked on Sunday to see an electronic highway sign with the word “Trayvon” followed by a racial slur. The offensive message was quickly erased.

At Ohio State University last week the words “Long Live Zimmerman” were scrawled across the side of the Frank W. Hale Jr. Black Cultural Center, a part of the university’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion.

“It’s a hate crime,” Larry Williamson Jr., director of the Hale center, told ABC News. “Some people see it as just graffiti but if you see something done in such a negative way, you’re going to have a community that feels hate.”

In Sanford, where the shooting took place, the specter of racism is ubiquitous.

A group of armed neo-Nazis from the National Socialist Movement have descended upon the town, touting their intention to patrol the town to protect whites against a race riot.

“We are not the type of white people who are going to be walked all over,” Commander Jeff Schoep of the National Socialist Movement told The Miami NewTimes.

Trayvon Martin: The 9 Most Striking Cartoons about the Tragedy [Washington Post]

-A refreshingly honest response-Julia

Some readers of Rob Rogers, the editorial cartoonist for the city’s Post-Gazette, are upset that in commenting on the fatal shooting of Florida teenager Trayvon Martin, the artist has invoked the visceral imagery of a lynching, and has delivered his opinion by drawing the boy’s shooter, George Zimmerman, in the clothes of a Klansman.

Rogers stands staunchly behind his illustrated editorial.

“The killing of African American teenager Trayvon Martin by neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman in Florida last month was not an act of self-defense,” Rogers tells Comic Riffs, noting that Martin was unarmed, toting only iced tea and Skittles. “Zimmerman had a history of reporting black males to the police. I believe he is a racist who was acting out his racism in the name of neighborhood watch.

“Now he is using Florida’s ‘stand your ground’ law as an excuse for his racist violence,” Rogers continues, adding that “many feel the actions by the local police [in Sanford] were also racist.”

Prosecutor in Martin Case Will Alone Determine Its Merits [New York Times]

Unless investigators find witnesses or direct evidence of the confrontation preceding Mr. Martin’s death, such as signs of a struggle, prosecutors would have to build a circumstantial case, often the hardest to make. In high-profile cases, the constitutional principle of the presumption of innocence can be especially strong — another reason to proceed with care, according to legal experts.

Florida criminal law, like most states, does not require a rush to file charges in such a case, Mr. Friedman said; the statute of limitations in manslaughter cases is measured in years, not weeks. Mr. Friedman, a former prosecutor, said that it served no one to take a defendant to trial before the evidence for a conviction could be collected; a prosecutor, he said, has “an ethical obligation” to build and believe in a case that can be proved beyond a reasonable doubt.

Once the evidence is in hand, Ms. Corey will have to determine not just whether to file charges but if so, which ones. By stating that she will not be using the grand jury, she has signaled that charges of first-degree murder are not on the table. In Florida, those charges can be issued only by a grand jury, and require a finding that the act was premeditated. A more likely charge under Florida law is manslaughter, but lesser charges like aggravated battery with a firearm are also a possibility, Mr. Friedman said.

Trayvon Martin Resolution Introduced by Congressional Black Caucus [Huffington Post]

The Congressional Black Caucus unveiled a resolution on Wednesday that honors the life of Trayvon Martin and calls for the repeal of “Stand Your Ground” gun laws in every state that has one, including Florida, where Martin was killed.

“Florida’s misguided ‘Stand Your Ground’ law does not make our streets safer, rather it turns our streets into a showdown at the OK Corral,” Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-Fla.), a sponsor of the resolution, said in a statement. “But this is not the Wild West. We are supposed to be a civilized society. Let Trayvon’s death not be for naught. Let us honor his life by righting this wrong, and seeing that justice is served for Trayvon and his family. George Zimmerman must be prosecuted for his admitted shooting of Trayvon Martin and the ‘Stand Your Ground’ law must be repealed.”

Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla.), who represents Martin’s district, said Congress should pass the resolution because his death “speaks to the reality that racial profiling still exists in America.”

The resolution, symbolic but not legally binding, indirectly criticizes the National Rifle Association for pushing Stand Your Ground state laws around the country. It also calls on state legislatures to reject similar legislation and “urges the repeal of the Stand Your Ground law in every applicable state, including Florida.”

Dear LIE,

I’ve been collecting kids books with a wide variety of multicultural and anti-racist messages for years (both for my own son and for a class I teach to undergraduates that struggles with the question of how we should teach kids about race). I have found lots of great books documenting struggles for racial justice (among other themes). There are still a lot of gaps in my collection though.

One in particular seems particularly relevant now as my 9 year old white son said to me recently, “people whose ancestors came from Europe did a lot of really bad things. So we’re really bad. Does that mean I’m bad?” We had a wonderful conversation addressing this comment. But it made clear how few images of anti-racist whites the kids books in my collection had. So I’m wondering if anyone has a recommendation for kids’ books that show whites working as allies against racism alongside people of color (in any historical period).

Thanks,
Jennifer

What is on your mind this week? Let us know!

So, it used to be that we were deluged with images. We easily had a 6 month stockpile of cute kids to post on the site. But lately, the well’s gone dry. Even ridiculous photos of me dressed as batman have failed to inspire you. (The sacrifices I make…)

The weekly cute kid post is a tradition I hate to give up, but perhaps the time has come? Tell me what you think and/or send a pic to team@loveisntenough.com. In the mean time, I have no choice but to fill the space with photos like this:

Now seriously, wouldn’t you rather look at a cute kid?

UPDATE: Thanks for the response and keep them coming! I’m happy to say that the Cute Kid Pic will remain a regular feature here at LIE.

A few things:
-repeat submissions are fine; just indicate as such in your email in case we get truly deluged with photos
-if you don’t get an email from me (Julia) within 24-48 hours after sending the photo, we didn’t receive or went to spam or something. Try again or send an email without picture advising us of the problem.

Written by LIE contributor Margot Magowan; originally published at Reel Girl

When I started Reel Girl my plan was to blog about the sexist stereotypes marketed to kids through movies, TV, and toys. I never considered blogging about sexism in food.

I got this photo from Melissa Wardy at Pigtail Pals. A friend of hers took it in Las Vegas.

Can the gendering of products get any more stupid?

Seriously?

In the future, people are going to look back on 2012 and try hard to understand how intelligent human beings could ever be so deranged.

Continue reading →