Ask ARP: I’m about to adopt transracially, but what do I do about my racist in-laws?

Dear Anti-Racist Parent,

ask anti-racist parentI need help finding out how to battle racist in-laws when we are adopting a child of a different race and I am so flabbergasted by the comments that come from their mouths.

We went to the flea market with them and on the way home we stopped at a buffet, and… his mom says she wants to sit next to the drinks, and his dad says he wants to sit next to the blacks.

My jaw dropped, and I ignored his attempt at backpedalling about the cute little black girls with the pigtails.

I seriously can not believe it. Once he told me a restaurant was dark. It meant a lot of black people and hispanics. I had no idea what to say, i was so shocked. And the time he was going on his first date with MIL his friend asked, “are you picking up a polack or a darkie?” I AM POLISH and darkie is so offensive.

I will have a child soon. They know this is unacceptable, but I need to have a stock answer ready. Everytime it is a new comment blowing me out of the water.

What resources are there?

From Alyssa in CT

If you’re interested in submitting a question, please email us at team@loveisntenough.com and put “Ask Anti-Racist Parent” in the subject line.

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