by Anti-Racist Parent columnist Jason Sperber
This is where we live.
A couple weeks ago, my wife and I took our almost-three-year-old daughter to her first county fair. She got to eat French fries and funnel cake, look at cows, and dance like crazy to Los Lobos, performing live in a concert sponsored by an English-language magazine for second-generation American Latinos that the media company I work for publishes.
On our way out, we passed a t-shirt vendor selling souvenirs. I did a double take when I noticed the wide variety of t-shirts featuring the Confederate “Stars and Bars” flag on offer. “Take a picture, take a picture,” I nudged my wife, who reluctantly snapped a shot of the display of t-shirts with slogans like “Heritage Not Hate” and “If you don’t like my flag you can kiss my rebel ass.” The woman selling the shirts saw us—we tried to act nonchalant. But then I saw the kids’ shirts. I urged my wife to get a shot of the child’s shirt proclaiming “Daddy’s Lil Rebel” on top of the Confederate flag, but the shirt-seller saw her and shook her head no. Guess we couldn’t quite pass for members of her target demographic who just wanted to show her shirt designs to friends. Or maybe I just wasn’t too good at masking the look of shock on my face. [When googling for images of that kiddie shirt, I stumbled on this plethora of rebel merchandise for sale in that bastion of antebellum Southern heritage, New Jersey.]
This fair, by the way, made national news two years ago when it removed from its musical schedule a performance by local folk duo Prussian Blue, the Olsen twins of the white supremacist set. They were uninvited only after a classmate complained and told the fair folks what their act was really about. Apparently, they hadn’t known until then—despite the pair having performed at the fair the year before.
This is where we live.
In recent weeks, this has been the stuff of our local news:
•One of our city councilmen introduced measures to declare our city, steeped in its history of agribusiness and labor conflicts, an anti-sanctuary city vis-à-vis illegal immigrants and to declare English our official language.
•The city’s public high school district’s South High School celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. Its team name: the Rebels. Yes, those Rebels, and that South (and their colors are blue and grey, natch). Our paper featured some alumni remembrances accompanied by a photo of band buglers from back in the day with the stars-and-bars hanging from their horns. Wrote one member of the class of 1986: “Being an African-American student at a high school whose mascots are representations of the Southern Confederacy was peculiar, to say the least. Slavery ring a bell? Anyone?”
•A member of the high school board of trustees introduced a measure to require every classroom in the district to display the national motto, “In God We Trust.” The motto will be on flag-emblazoned posters donated by a non-profit run by a city councilwoman dedicated to putting up that same national motto in city halls across the country. The trustee, a former youth pastor and now founder of his own church, recently led the charge to change “winter break” to “Christmas break” and “spring break” to “Easter break,” and he originally ran for office because the board wasn’t strict enough in its partial ban of Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye.”
This is where we live.
A real-life friend and fellow dadblogger, Dr. Lo Siento, wrote of his concerns about raising his Asian American son in this kind of environment, shortly before moving with his wife and child back to Orange County. Recently, Mamazilla wrote about how some encounters with clueless racism has made her wish she could connect with an offline, non-virtual Anti-Racist Parent group of like-minded local moms and dads to share stories and strategies with, to vent to, to lean on. Though this stuff is never far from my mind, all this recent crap has made me think even more about the challenges my wife and I face in raising our daughter where we currently live.
I could throw up my arms and say, screw it, we’re moving, now. I could go crazy with anger and frustration, or get paranoid and see enemies everywhere. But for now, we live here.
And this is also where we live:
Did I mention that, at the County Fair, that Confederate t-shirt stand was just around the corner from a section of the fairgrounds devoted to Latino food and culture, and down the midway from food stands run by Basque, Italian and Mexican community organizations? (And we were coming from a Los Lobos concert.) It was a crowded Sunday night, and it seemed like families from all parts and communities of Bakersfield were there, having fun.
Those anti-immigrant resolutions in front of the City Council were voted down, after UFW legend and local resident Dolores Huerta led a diverse group of protesters to speak out against them and fill the council chambers.
Public opinion seems to be against our crusading school board trustee, who is seen and denounced by many as a divisive political opportunist who needs to be voted out of office.
This is where we live.
Every week, as part of my job, I make sure that a small cadre of local high school students take photos of fans at their schools’ football games and upload them to our website. And every week, I’m pleasantly surprised by what I see, photo after photo of interracial groups of friends, of families of all backgrounds enjoying the game with each other. Take a look at the photos from South High, where the majority of the students, like at many California high schools, are “minority” students, and you will not see the school it was 50 years ago, when someone thought it was a good idea to name a school after the losing side in the Civil War.
My wife and I consciously surround ourselves with a diverse group of friends, We support each other, we love each other’s kids, and, though we may not all share the same politics on everything, we all desire to create a better environment for our children. We complain when something pisses us off about this place not because we’re bitter and we’ve given up, but because, for the sake of our children, we can’t afford not to complain, we can’t afford not to get pissed off.
Because, at least for now, this is where we live.
Jason Sperber is a former stay-at-home-dad of a 2-year-old daughter (“The Pumpkin”) and the husband of a family physician (“la dra.”) living in California’s Central Valley. He is currently a writer/blogger/online community manager. A former high school social studies teacher, he has a background in ethnic studies and education for social justice. He writes the blog daddy in a strange landand coordinates Rice Daddies, the group blog by Asian American dads. He can be reached at daddyinastrangeland@mac.com.
Great post, Jason. It sounds like Bakersfield needs people like you guys, but I understand your hesitation to raise your daughter there.
Those shirts reminded me of my hometown in rural Louisiana. Ugh.
Our mascot was also a confederate soldier, despite the fact that we had a large minority population. I think they’ve since changed, it, thank God.
Really great post and I can definitely relate. Not necessarily in terms of race and diversity, but in terms of crime and violence. My city is known for being a crime filled town. A week ago we heard gun shots near our home. Several months ago, I heard that a body had been found in front of the house I JUST sold (our old home, which is not too far from our new home). All related to the hospital we live near where people die everyday from gunshot wounds and other violence. Yet still, this is one of the most diverse places in the world. The school my daughter goes to has a true mixture of people from all races and lifestyles (there is no majority of any particular in her class) and also does well academically. We struggle often with the idea of moving because we’re often afraid of what might happen; just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, this is our home and this is our community. No place is perfect, but how can our city, our home improve if we give up and leave?
I admire you for living where you’re living and making your own community there.
When I saw your photograph, I immediately thought, “Oh. He lives here in Texas.” I was pretty surprised to find out you live in California, where to those of us who view you from the deep South, stereotypically think of your state as a hotbed of liberalism. I guess racism knows no boundaries.
It seems to me lately that there’s been sort of a groundswell of racist activity — first, Jena, and then the incident at Columbia university (http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/12/columbia.noose/index.html) . But, thankfully, your post is a reminder that even as ignorance abounds, so does a positive, inclusive reaction supporting diversity in all its forms.
Thanks for writing this.
K.
i remember when we first took a look at the house that we live in now and our african american neighbors who have lived here about 30+ years had some heartbreaking stories of their personal experiences w/ prejudice and racism in the neighborhood.
they said that it had gotten better – that now the neighborhood was good and better than it was when they were the “pioneers”…
but now, i wonder if all the prejudice and hate just went underground and really, is still as prevalent as it was when they moved in. just hidden. our neighborhood is diverse for a chicago neighborhood, but it’s not integrated, which is one of the myriad of problems we face.
i want to “bloom where i’m planted”, but almost every minute of everyday, i wish we could move to some more nutritious soil.
Can’t believe I live here now that I see the “My other ride has tits” t-shirt. Ouch. How embarrassing for us. I try to focus on the beautiful people in this place and not the peripheral stuff. You guys make this place feel like home.
Mamazilla, you are not alone. Everytime my family visits the DC area where I lived for years, I ask myself why do we have to return to New Jersey?
Thoughtful post, Jason. The experiences you describe are why we do what we do, write what we write. Change is possible.
Very interesting post – I, too, assumed you were writing from somewhere in the South and was surprised to see it was California. (What in the world are Californians doing with Confederate t-shirts? It’s weird enough that people in the South still wear them 150 years after the Confederacy ended.)
I live in Memphis, Tennessee, and there are definitely two sides to that city, too. Yes, we see the Confederate flags show up sometimes too, but at the same time we have found a very racially/ethnically-diverse and liberal circle of friends, and the local Montessori school is very diverse. Ideally we will raise our children-to-be in a more liberal and less religious-fundamentalist city, but I think we can still provide them with a healthy environment if we stay here.
Well said! I love how you break from discouragement to hope. It’s always a mixed bag. Stand together.
Could have been a state fair in PA, DE, or Jersey, or a Nascar race in the Poconos (I’d expect it in Dover, DE, since it is close to that pesky Mason-Dixon line).
Stupid knows no region.
I saw that picture and thought I was back in Alabama. I grew up in Memphis, and have lived in Montgomery and Birmingham in Alabama; so I know the Deep South. Now I live in the Reasearch Triangle Park area of North Carolina and I am thankful that there is more diversity here. Not lots, but definitely more than Alabama (Birmingham is better than Montgomery). So, with my background, I was suprised to learn that Jason was referring to a California city. But I agree with Lyonside -’Stupid know no region’
This is beautifully written. I nearly cried when I read there was a partial ban of one of the most incredible books I’ve ever read. But ending your post with the reality of hope was just perfect. Thank you.
Partially inspired by this post, I did a minor act of rebellion today.
I parked right behind an SUV (natch!) with a bunch of ribbon magnets and a bumpersticker – w/ the Battle Flag and the lovely motto, “Kiss My Rebel Ass.”
I slipped a note under the windshield wiper saying the following:
“States Rights” = “Slavery Rights”
You Lost, Get over it.
Love,
A descendent of slaves and freemen.
I know, I know, it won’t change anything really – but if the car owner read it at all, maybe they’ll think for a second.
*crickets*
NAAAAAAAAAHHHH…
*sigh*
I feel you on the “rebel flag” thing. We live in a very “country” county in VA, and we see those flags ALL OF THE TIME. I hate them. “Heritage” my ass. I hate them and what they stand for, and I have no respect for people who fly them, put them on their cars, or whatever else they do with them. I feel like grabbing ALL of my children and running. We are trying SO HARD to move away from this county. So far, we ahve not had any verbalized racist comments toward our Asian son, but those images speak for themselves… no verbal comments needed.
Ryan
Ryan: And I live in a supposed “blue” state (PA) and I’m in the burbs of Philadelphia – not even close to Pennsyltucky.
It’s everywhere thinking people aren’t, evidently.
I confess that I once flew that rebel flag outside my dorm window in college, but only after my white texan girlfriend convinced me, “Honey, it’s pride, not predjudice. If I was a racist, would I even be with you?” So I figured that even though we were way north of the Mason-Dixon line, it would be harmless. After all, my girlfriend was obviously not a racist, right?
But the rebel flag didn’t last long on my flagpole. A Latina RA had contacted security, and it’s only then that they decided to enforce the rule about not hanging anything from dorm windows. So my flagpole had to be removed. I had flown all sorts of flags over the previous year: the US Flag, the Jolly Roger (pirate flag), a rainbow flag, the Texas flag, the Israeli flag, the Philippine flag, etc. But the confederate flag was where they drew the line.
Later that same week, someone had scrawled some threatening hate messages on our floor of the dorm. There were also some white separatist newspapers left at black students’ doorsteps throughout campus. This terrified everyone on campus, and the authorities were notified. Security was heightened, and tolerance demonstrations took place on campus.
Then my RA notified me that Campus Security wanted to meet with me and my roommate ASAP. When we met with campus security, It was obvious to them that neither I (the Asian guy) or my roommate (the effeminate guy) were the perpetrators of those racist messages. But the fact that racist acts took place immediately after I flew that flag is a revelation in itself. It seems that we inadvertently invited racism to our campus when we flew the “Stars & Bars.” There’s no denying the fact that the rebel flag is a “mating call” for a lot of white separatists.
Even though some rebel flag admirers may embrace diversity, that’s not always the message conveyed by the rebel flag. Whether we like it or not, that flag instills fear and anxiety in many people. And those are valid feelings. Furthermore, if you already know that people of color will tend to steer clear of anything bearing the confederate flag, why would you display it unless you really wish to repel people of color?
Every time the Confed/Rebel flag comes up, I’m reminded of a Nascar documentary my spouse made me watch (yes, a Nuyorican transplant from Jersey who loves Nascar..)
In it, Dale Earndhart Jr. is trying desperately to dismiss the flag as inappropriate without outright calling it racist, for fear of ticking off a lot of his fans. But you could tell he didn’t like it and wouldn’t fly it on a personal level. Nascar events everywhere are notorious for having tons of flags in the parking lot. The organization tries to downplay it, as they’re trying to get more diverse, but they’re walking a tightrope.
That part of the interview made me squirm, simply because I think I understood where a lot of non-racist white folks are coming from. I’d love them to speak out more, but the almighty dollar is damn compelling. Until it becomes unprofitable to sell/promote/use the image, it’s not going away.
Yes, those t-shirts are very offensive, however what about the Che Guevarra shirts (offensive to millions of Cuban-Americans), and the Aztlan/Reconquista, “White Europeans go HOme” “La RAZA” shirts sold at many flea market/outdoor markets in California, Texas, etc. They are just as bad. I’m tired of hearing that only white Americans can be racists. I’m Hispanic American and I know and have heard far worse from ethno-supremacist “latinos” these days and it’s not subtle. It’s sickening how racist a great majority of the new Latino immigrants can be against Black Americans and anyone of European descent. If you only knew what they say behind your back ……!
3 hours to the north on the 99 and I swear I do not see this stuff. Huh. Maybe I am not going to the fair frequently enough?
You make the Valley better by being where you are. Don’t give up!
Do you honestly believe that the presence of the Confederate Navy Jack is a dependable indicator of anti-black sentiment?
Nobody could deny that there is a substantial overlap. But consider the overlap concept from another angle: most socialists and communists would consider themselves “pro-diversity” (“workers of the world…UNITE” and all that). Does that make you a communist? No, it does not. You might be one, but I wouldn’t know until I asked about your opinions on economic matters.
There were many black soldiers in the Confederate army. Ebonics is firmly rooted in dialects of the American South. Southern culture is more black than it is white. It’s the northern whites who liked blacks, as long as they were on a underpaid, on a stage and nowhere near their neighborhood. In the South, white and black lived, worked and died side by side.
By the way, I am from Michigan and I live in Arizona, so you can’t say that I am brainwashed by my locality or any of that rubbish.