by Anti-Racist Parent columnist Liza Talusan
I experience privilege. I am college educated. I have a steady, salaried job. I am heterosexual. I have a house and a mortgage. Two cars. Two kids. One dog. I am able bodied. My husband and I are married. Both of my parents are still alive and well. I have health insurance. I have privilege.
And, as a young woman of color, I also experience oppression.
While at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity, I engaged in wonderfully challenging and critically affirming discussions over the course of 5 full days (I’m talking 8:00am-10:00pm!) about race, ethnicity, power, privilege, oppression, advocacy, and activism. I love browsing the exhibitor area of conferences because it helps me to build my toolbox for Teaching Diversity in a Diversity Free Zone. One of the exhibitors was for the White Privilege Conference (which I fully intended on going to next year). They were selling “Got Privilege?” shirts and sweatshirts, of which I happily purchased two – one for my friend and one for me.
“Got privilege?”
My friend wore his shirt to work, a rather liberal elementary school in a wealthy suburb of Boston. A few of his co-workers had seen the shirt slogan before or had attended the White Privilege Conference themselves and knew what it was all about. Some of his co-workers even owned the shirt, too. While waiting in the lunch line, my friend was confronted by a co-worker of European heritage who read his shirt and loudly said, “Got privilege? Of course you can wear that! What a double standard! If I wore that, I wouldn’t hear the end of it!”
“Huh?,” asked my Puerto Rican friend. “What do you mean?” just hoping to get his helping of school-lunch chicken nuggets and potato puffs.
The next few minutes were quite ugly. The co-worker proceeded to tell him how offensive his shirt was, how she didn’t think that his offensive shirt had any place in an educational setting.
I believe my friend replied with “Are you kidding me?”
The rest of the story finds the white person going to different groups of people, pointing at my friend, and angrily shaking her head with her eyebrows saying, “Can you believe he would wear a shirt like that?” from across the room.
Thankfully, there are aware people in those groups who told responded with, “There isn’t anything wrong with his shirt.”
Privilege. Is it really an ugly word? Why is it so difficult for people to realize and accept that they have privilege? Does having privilege mean people are bad? Selfish? Close-minded?
In my experience, it is just the opposite. Recognizing privilege, owning up to your privilege and then actively identifying ways in which we institutionally disempower those without privilege gives us tools in our toolbox. It helps us to call attention to ways in which we play into systems of oppression. It awakens our sense of responsibility and turns on the voice in our hearts to call for change.
The quote on the back of one of the “Got Privilege?” shirts reads: “If you are neutral in a si
tuation of injustice, you have chosen to side with the oppressor.” This is important to understanding how we can build an Anti-Racist family, community, school, etc. By understanding the benefits we experience as a result of our privilege, we can begin to understand those who are oppressed by our privilege. Throughout the posts and comments on Anti-Racist Parent, there are many of us who find ourselves at a loss for words when we see someone oppressing another. And, many of us have been on the receiving end of those hurtful remarks, insensitive comments, or complete lack of acknowledgment. But, have we actively thought of our own ways in which we oppress others?
As parents and educators, I believe there is a fine line between understanding systems of privilege/oppression and guilt. I do not feel guilty for having two living parents. I do not feel guilty for working towards home ownership. I do not feel guilty for being in a heterosexual marriage. I do not feel guilty for having two children and one dog. I do not feel guilty for having 5 more years to pay off my graduate student loans. Having privilege does not equal feeling guilty. However, owning the fact that I experience privilege forces me to open my eyes to the ways in which systems of oppression and institutionalized -isms keep others from achieving. “Knowledge is power” and knowing my privilege calls me to find ways to support humanity that is valued. Peggy McIntosh, who wrote the influential piece “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”, discussed the importance of recognizing and analyzing the types of advantages Whites have simply for having white skin (or, ‘peach’, as my daughter calls it). In my life, I believe the same goes for the other ways (class, sexual identity, marriage status, education, ownership, health, etc) in which I experience privilege as a woman of color. We all carry around these unspoken Member ID Cards that allow us into these exclusive systemized clubs. But, do we belong to these clubs at the expense of others? At the expense of another’s humanity?
As parents and as anti-racists, we must actively participate in a process where every human has a right to not only yearn for life, liberty, and happiness but to actually achieve it. For those looking for practical ways to educate ourselves, our children, and our students, I came across a great website, Understanding Prejudice, that has activities and resources for many age levels. Many of their tools can be put into your “diversity toolbox!”
So, is privilege offensive? How do you teach your child about privilege in your life?
The shirt says “Got Privilege”…..It doesn’t suggest you should lose your privilege….Perhaps this other teacher was intemidated by losing her preivilege, which is just silly…
“then actively identifying ways in which we institutionally disempower those without privilege gives us tools in our toolbox.”
This was extreamly well put….
Great discussion, observations, thoughts. How I love this line: “If you are neutral in a situation of injustice, you have chosen to side with the oppressor.”
Until I was taught better, I did not think being white, educated etc. could be considered privilege. I didn’t think it had afforded me any privilege at all. Then in an interracial adoption workshop, white privilege was explained to me. It is so ingrained that many of us don’t realize it exists and we are shocked to realize it does. I see the solution as have nothing to do with being dropped down a few pegs, but moving over and making room for others. It means affording others the same rights, dignity, and opportunity as we have.
As for other privilege, ie. educationally, economically etc., no I don’t believe I need to feel guilty, unless as as Liza states, it is at the expense of another’s humanity. I worked darn hard for my education, and I don’t need to feel guilty because someone else didn’t /couldn’t/ wouldn’t do the things necessary to have it themselves. It doesn’t mean I owe them, any more than someone more privileged than myself owes me. It just means my humanity is no more, or less important than theirs, and I can feel grateful that I have it.
I talk to my daughter all the time about how lucky we are to have a good school, cars to drive, food to eat, a house to live in, and friends and family who love us.
I read something once when I was having a down day about how we never think “it’s not fair” when talking about our own good fortune. But truly, realizing it’s not fair I’m not living in a mud hut with unsafe water does a lot toward improving my attitude in life, and I hope to pass that along to my daughter.
Are those t-shirts still for sale anywhere? I’d love to have one.
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Well said, Liza Talusan. To answer the question at the bottom of the post, I don’t have any children, and the only kids I can say I’ve participated in parenting, my 3yo and 1yo nephew, are too young yet.
Where are those t–shirts on sale?
Hi C.I.
You can find it through the Speak Out Now store. You have to scroll down a bit, but in the meantime, you pass some great resources along the way. They only have 2 online, but when i saw the exhibitor at the conference, they had at least half a dozen or so of different types and quotes. You may want to contact the White Privilege Conference and see if they can sell you any through them. Be prepared for angy people to question you .. hopefully not in the chicken nugget and tater puffs line like my friend experienced, though! – Liza
http://www.speakoutnow.org/userdata_display.php?modin=52&qty=50&offset=200
What is effective in a like-minded workshop or conference may not be useful in a situation with co-workers, who got defensive when shown a one-off slogan without prior explanation. It is unreasonable to expect to make converts with a slogan. Perhaps wearing the tee and handing out a pamphlet about “hidden” privilege would have worked better – ie, a coherent action. These things get so emotional so quickly, and then the defensive person’s brain just shuts down. Who knows, maybe that defensive guy harbors resentment against the rich parents of the kids at that school, and simply doesn’t feel privileged in relation to the kids, parents, and community. You might think this is coddling the defensive guy, but really, I think that these conversations go better when not conducted in public before the whole school. The teachers’ lounge, or some such, might be a better venue.
All that said, wearing the shirt on the street is probably worth doing, in so far as the slogan might make someone think “What’s that all about?”. This is a non-confrontational situation, x passing y on the street. No “loss of face” is involved, and the viewer is thus more likely to work past emotion to think about the slogan.
In the last few years I really had to struggle to won my class privilege. I didn’t even realize the way that it warped my thinking. There was a co worker who I looked down upon based solely on class. I didn’t want to recognize that I held my opinion on her based on my middle class values and that she coming from a place of poverty would naturally see things differently than I. I continually discounted her experiences and even to some degree did not respect her as a person. I thought I do out reach with homeless people and I donate to the soup kitchen. It wasn’t until Bill Cosby made his attack on the poor I really realized what I sounded like, and how ugly it truly was. Owning privilege means more than just going through the motions it means truly internalizing that this advantages are occurring in your life and that others are not less than because they did not have the same options as you. It also means truly validating some else’s frame of reference and knowing that to learn you need to stop and listen.
It’s funny that it never occurs to people like the European-American teacher that if the most “offensive” part of your life is the accumulation of all the things you “don’t get” to say, you’re probably privileged.
I am interested in the quote on the back of the shirt. It reminds me of a class I took in college on racism. The instructor’s take was somewhat similar to the shirt slogan: “if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.” I found this challenging, however. There is so much insjustice in the world that it is not possible to be part of the solution to *every* problem, so to me, the maxim didn’t seem reasonable. I do absolutely agree that when I am personally faced with a situation of injustice, it is important to speak out (and my privilege can be used for good, b/c it gives me some clout to make a difference). And I also feel that it is important to try to be a part of the solution to *some* problems that I’m *not* directly faced with, so that my existence makes a positive impact on the broader world. So, I think my perspective is that privilege is not offensive (though I am not absolutely certain as I write this, b/c I wonder if privilege for one person always comes at the expense of another person), but since I have it, I have a responsibility to use it in positive ways.
all the great discussion aside, and although I don’t agree with the way the woman handle herself… I can understand the argument.
Could I as a white woman weart that t-shirt around people of color? What message would I be sending… “Hey everyone I get it, I am enlightened!” Or would I just piss more people off.
The truth will set you free, but that doesn’t neutralize the fact that “The truth hurts”!
My guess is that the woman of European heritage who was offended did not understand that the shirt applied (however unequally) to everyone in that school building. If she thought she couldn’t get away with wearing it, while a man of Puerto Rican heritage could, she must have been seeing only the racial difference between herself and the man, on which scale she has more privilege. She must have not thought about the fact that as a man, he has more privilege on the gender scale. If they are both teachers, then they both have a lot of education privilege. They obviously both get enough to eat, and have clean water available, and probably both have steady jobs and health insurance and standard physical abilities. If you consider his gender privilege and her race privilege to cancel each other out, these two people are probably about equally privileged. But if, as I guess based on her reaction, she thought only of race–and this is my actual point; sorry it took so long to get here–she could have thought that your friend’s intention was to remind *other* people that they have privilege, whereas I think that his actual intention was to remind *himself and others* that they have privilege, and shouldn’t forget it.
I don’t teach my daughter about privilege yet, (she’s 6), but I am trying to lead up to it by teaching about difference. I believe the primary manifestation of privilege is not having to think about something. For example, as an able-bodied person, not having to think about how a wheelchair-user might negotiate the subway; how not everyone gets to go away on vacation; how it might be to not live with one parent. These are all situations that my child comes across. It is my duty to get her to think about them. As time goes on, we will come across other situations, and each one will be a teaching/learning moment to add until she begins to see a trend and wonder herself.
That is so interesting to me that the woman was offended by the Puerto Rican man wearing the shirt. I’ve seen many people wearing that shirt, and almost ALL of them were white. As a woman of color, I would see them wearing that shirt and have an inward sigh of relief. Wearing the shirt to me just means you are THINKING about privilege. That says a lot.
I think you have to look at it from the other side, though.
Let’s say a co-worker wore a shirt that asked (somewhat less succinctly), “Got Affirmative Action Preference?”
I would imagine that you would be offended, and perhaps rightfully so. The “Got Privilege?” shirt is essentially asking the same thing, but to the Majority instead of the Minority.
It is certainly true that there are SOME advantages to being in the minority (although in most cases they are swamped by the disadvantages). Would you feel better after a conversation with the Hypothetical Shirt Wearer where she explains that she was just trying to point out that, “Most people think it to themselves, and I’m just trying to point out the ways in which Affirmative Action actually hurts the people it aims to help by planting that question in the minds of everyone around them”?
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Rich,
I don’t see how the hypothetical shirt you describe is comparable to the “Got Privilege” shirt.
Those that understand privilege, understand that race is but one of many factors in determining social advantage. A few months ago, there was this privilege meme floating around. It was developed by a group at Indiana State University and included questions that evaluated level of privilege. I am a black woman, but based on my answers to the meme, I am also very privileged (which is no surprise to me, really).
The “Got Privilege” shirt, which as a couple other commenters have posted, can be worn be anyone of any race. It is an admonishment to think about your place in the world. The shirt you describe would seem to be a dig against the “advantages” afforded by affirmative action. I won’t even go into why I think viewing affirmative action as an advantage that women and people of color enjoy is off base.
Thanks for a great post and for telling us where to get the t-shirt. I was writing about this issue today and happily found your related post.
I think announcing privilege via a t-shirt is great — I love t-shirt activism. I also think ‘linguistic activism’ is important. In my post, I suggest that analogous to the term ‘people of color’ we should use the term ‘people of white privilege. ‘ You can check it out at professorwhatif.com if you are itnterested.
In regards to your last question, I try to teach my kids about white privilege and all the other intersectionalities by talking about them daily. We talk about how ridiculous it is to judge people by their skin color and how racism/sexism/homphobia are pervasive in our society. When they have school reports, I encourage them to teach their classmates about these issues and be ‘activist educators’ in their own right. I also go into their classrooms to teach about feminism and social justice when the teachers will allow me too cuz we can’t just teach our own kids, we need to teach all children (and the mainstream school systems are not tackling these issues but perpetuating them!)
I just read the article again, and I do think the female teacher’s response is incredibly unprofessional. From the information presented, she did not bother to read the back of the shirt, or ask her colleague any questions about the message on the shirt. I really think an educator should know better. I agree with no1kstate, that if we are preoccupied with all the things we don’t get to say, we are most likely privileged.
I would myself be cautious about where I wore that shirt. I would not want to wear it among any group that might not ‘get it’, whether they were people of colour or other white people. There are some people out there who would react to it on a superficial level, and feel that privilege is being rubbed in their face. The shirt’s message would be undermined. I can only speak for myself personally, and would chose a shirt with the same basic message, but phrased differently.
The same people that freak out over what they perceive as a double standard, are the ones who really don’t understand what white privilege is. They don’t realize admitting privilege isn’t giving it up, or gloating about it. These same people are shocked that just about everything from media images, to the colour of bandaids, and ‘nude’ pantyhose; puts a white spin on things. That’s how pervasive it is.
I teach in a school district that is diverse along both class and racial lines. For some kids they intersect for others they do not. We have students that fit both white stereotypes and black stereotypes, and we have students who do not. Interestingly, racism is not our biggest problem, classism is. Students are more likely to judge based on clothes labels and iPods than skin color. They all could do with a Got Privilege shirts along with Coexist shirts.
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Hey all,
Just wanted to let you know I ordered the “Got Privilege” t-shirt and it got here today! Now that is speedy! If you too want one of these hot pink beauties to annoy privilege deniers with, order one at the Speak Out Now store Liza links to above. http://www.speakoutnow.org/userdata_display.php?
modin=52&qty=50&offset=200
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I’ve seen people use “that’s your privilege” to justify nasty behavior and discrimination against those with privilege. If the co-worker has experienced that, then I can understand them thinking of ‘privilege’ as an offensive word. It’s annoying to see this happen, and it’s really pointless and only damages progress. I wish I didn’t see it happening as often as I do.
Z…I see your point. As a biracial woman with very fair skin and white features, I’ve experienced nasty behavior from other minorities because they assumed that I was privileged. They simply looked at the color of my skin and figured that my life was perfect. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Maybe I do benefit from being light-skinned in ways that aren’t obvious to me. Maybe it’s because I know what kind of life I’ve had. My life has been a difficult one. I might be relatively able-bodied despite some health issues. I might not be destitute. My mother is still living. So I’m pretty thankful for the few blessings in my life.
However, what some people fail to realize is that I’m still a person of color who is oppressed and discriminated against. Yes, I’m married to a white man. Yes, I blend into his world fairly well. But I still deal with feeling like an outsider. I’m neither black nor white. I live in a city where people don’t care about who you are…they care about how much money you make, the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the language you speak, what you look like, and what “race” you belong to.
All of these things add up to a very lonely existence in my world.
I don’t feel privileged at all. I have some things that I’m thankful for, but I don’t feel privileged. I’m female, a minority, and I struggle with a mental illness. My husband has white heterosexual male privilege. But I don’t try to make him feel guilty. Instead, I try to open his eyes to the realities of people like myself who do NOT have these privileges.
BTW…I’m sorry if none of this made sense. I simply thought I’d share my perspective.
As to the Puerto Rican dude, I find it admirable that he stood up to the teacher who confronted him.
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