Pardon me while I rant a bit…A couple months ago, flush with excitement about my new editing gig at Anti-Racist Parent, I visited the kids section at my local Barnes & Noble store. There is nothing I love more than a new book with crisp pages and an uncracked spine. Sometimes I like the idea of a new book–and the promise of learning something new–better than reading the book itself. It takes little to convince me that I need to drop a stack of cash on books. But I digress…(Sorry. Books are my vice.) This particular afternoon, I was going to load up on books that teach and celebrate diversity for my nieces and nephews and for reviews on ARP. But after 20 minutes, my basket was still empty.
I asked an associate for help: “I’m looking for good books for kids that discuss race, diversity, equality…that sort of thing.” After staring at me dumbfounded for what felt like a minute, she finally produced three books–THREE. There were books about horses…books on how to make magic…books on decorative nail polish application….books about sports, but there among the hundreds of books in the children’s niche at a major book retailer, only three gave even lip service to the idea of racial equality.
I think about this experience often as I search for content for ARP. My various Google alerts about race and families and parenting rarely turn up anything good. There are a lot of bloggers talking about race, but few talking about race as it relates to children, parenting and families. (Lucky for us, many of the few lend their voices here and they are amazing.) And while ARP’s various resource threads prove that there are some exceptional anti-racist parenting tools around, it is clear to me that there are not enough–not nearly enough.
The problem, I think, is that racism today is more covert than overt, more ingrained than in-your-face, more about bias than hatred. But we don’t talk about this sort of prejudice with children. Is it any wonder that Barack Obama’s presidential run has illuminated bigotry that the general populace seemed to think was a thing of the past? If we’re not talking to children about race, what makes us expect to ever see the end of inequality?
I never guessed I’d be one of those parents, but I don’t talk to my kids about race. Right now, the most pressing issue is gender. They hear from the time they’re barely talking that girls can’t do what boys can do. Rarely do people even talk about race in those terms anymore, so it’s hard to discuss that and bring up those difficult concepts when they haven’t been exposed to it or affected by it (YET). To the world, they’re still cute, but when they get older and become a ‘threat’, it will be a more integrated part of our parenting. And yes, I’m glad you’re here too.
Kandee,
Thanks for your comment. I agree, kids hear a lot of very gendered statements. It’s amazing the kind of gender boxes we feel comfortable putting our kids in.
I disagree, though, that kids are not exposed to race bias at an early age. For instance, what about the idea that the white doll is the prettiest or that the dainty blonde is the princess? What about the kid who lives in an area where he is among few people of color and so develops a Euronormative view? Or the kid who grows up in an all-black or Hispanic neighborhood and develops biases about white people? I think these sort of everyday situations are far more likely to influence a child’s thinking than an isolated incident of overt racism. If we only address the shocking race stuff with kids, I fear they will come to think of race bias as only the shocking stuff.
Most B&N employees are very well versed in current bestsellers, fiction, and the vast majority of reader’s advisory-type questions, but a reference question like yours is a bit outside their scope. Pardon my arrogance, but you probably would have found more resources at your local library. I know that’s not precisely the point you were trying to make — but there are more than three books out there for kids that discuss race, diversity, equality, I promise you!
And out of curiosity, what books did they recommend to you?
Sorry, I should have been more clear. I don’t say ‘race’ to my kids. I do teach them about differences between human beings, cultures, and how they should deal with that. They encounter ‘race’ all the time, like when people try to touch their hair, but right now, they digest that as people being rude and not as the social construct of race and its associated values. And as my oldest watches more Disney channel, he’s starting to see the value they place on straight hair and peach skin and we’ve had discussions about that. We go out of our way to counteract the hidden messages about race in society. My reservations around introducing them to the socially constructed titles like ‘black’ and ‘white’ are because of their tight connection those terms have with bad and good. So while I can say outright “boys are not better than girls and here are examples why…!”, I can’t say the same obvious statements for race because our society still ‘goes there’ for gender (watch Disney channel for 2 minutes), but it’s more institutionalized and implicit for race (the code words used for race would go over their heads if I broke it down). Maybe that’s a little off topic from this post, but I was trying to say that I value blogs like this one because I get to see how others discuss and view race – kind of like a support group. I do agree with you that there are little resources, and the few that I’ve encountered were not about POC having regular story lines doing regular things like they were regular people, but they seemed to be trying to counteract stereotypes in obvious, uncomfortable ways, which I don’t like and try to avoid. And just in case my general point was lost in my comment, yes I do agree with your post.
I’m glad ARP is here too, and Racialicious, and Harlow’s Monkey, and A Birth Project, and all the other contributors. At my house, we talk about race frequently, just as part of life, given the 4+ races the 3 of us represent…. but we hardly ever discuss gender. (I guess I was holding these truths to be self-evident….not). I was so sad the other day when my daughter said “Papa makes the real money, right? You just help out with your money, right Mama?” Let me footnote that by saying that I am a successful financial manager, I often bring my daughter to work with me, and I clearly failed bigtime to see or address the gender biases she’s been soaking in. Not only are we going to talk about it, but I am going to cruise whatever book lists I can find, and then order them, because even my beloved neighborhood store doesn’t have much about race or gender for kids. They only have the Colorful World Book because I requested it after the review on ARP!
e,
I understand that there are many more than three books of the nature I was looking for. But I wonder why there are just three–If the World Were a Village, It’s Okay to be Different and Colorful World–at a major book retailer in one of the fastest growing counties in the country. I simply dug a little harder and did find other resources, but for the many parents who aren’t inclined to do the work…
RE: Kandee’s comment: “My reservations around introducing them to the socially constructed titles like ‘black’ and ‘white’ are because of their tight connection those terms have with bad and good.”
I feel the same way. I’m reluctant to talk about people using the terms of black and white, especially with my 4yo daughter. I am caucasian raising caucasian kids, and live in a pretty much caucasian town. My daughter recently said something to me about us being white, and I corrected her — I try to stress that every human has a different shade of skin, and told her within our household there are shades of tan, beige, peachy and peachy-pink. People are brown, beige, etc. I pretty much always worry that I am doing the wrong thing, but my goal is that my kids grow up seeing that every single one of us has color on this Earth, and that pretty much no two of us have the same exact one, and that is beautiful.
Today I was at the library myself trying to find books that weren’t specifically about race, but had main characters of pretty much any ethnicity but my daughter’s, just any old story. I managed to find one about a little girl getting put to bed by her daddy. So, I can relate to the quest above.
“but for the many parents who aren’t inclined to do the work…”
or don’t know that they should do the work.
My son is starting to read on his own and I have wanting to find a book series for him. HA! One of my main requirements was that there was diversity in the main characters. Little did I know that was not going to be an easy task. I finally found one about two boys but as my mom pointed out – the white kid was the main character and the AA child was his best friend. Like that pairing (white lead, minority sidekick) hasn’t been done before from the Lone Ranger to the current Psych show. Makes me want to pull my hair out.
Again, Tami, I think we live parallel lives sometimes!
I was just at B&N on Sunday with the same mission – to add more books to our ever growing library (which I’ve blogged about and happily taken suggestions from ARP parents). I actually did find lots of books that dealt with race, but specifically, stories from China – maybe inspired by the Olympics? That’s the most Chinese story books I have ever seen in one place!
But, what actually made me mad about the books were that a) they were almost all written by non-Chinese and b) I felt they were horribly stereotypical! I absolutely did NOT want those “authentic Chinese story books” (insert barfing noise). The illustrations were done by non-Chinese and they reminded me of the Halloween costumes that people wear. Urgh. So, needless to say, my delight over seeing the abundance of Chinese story books was fleeting. No where in the stacks were stories that featured Asian characters in regular old daily life. They were all the stories that *I* grew up with like Tiki Tiki Tembo and such.
What frustrates me is that I’m sure well meaning parents are buying up those books thinking, “Wow! I’m going to diversify my library!” when actually I find them quite harmful. The ones that did have Asian illustrators or were written by Asian writers were good – and I already had them at home. Grace Lin’s work is always great “Dim Sum for Everyone” etc. But the other ones made me so mad!
Books with Asian characters just going about every day life are sorely underrepresented, and going to B&N this Sunday not only made me realize that, but also made me realize just how many stereotypical ones still exist.
Re E’s comment: Why should we have to go to the library to find the kinds of books that Tami was looking for? I don’t consider that a “reference” question at all. If Barnes and Noble were stocked with a variety of diverse children’s books (as my local, non-B&N bookstore is), the clerks would know about them. If B&N did a book fair or display of such books, they might interest more people in buying them. As parents/grandparents, we need to keep asking, and we need to keep checking out what our local libraries offer, what’s on the shelves in the school libraries, and what’s in the Sunday School/religious school curriculum materials. Anti-Racist book lovers, let’s do it!!
For Ann, JDiane, and others:
I recommend the Willimena and Miami (he’s a boy!) chapter book series by Valerie Wilson Wesley, and Patricia McKissack, respectively. Pretty much anything by McKissack, actually.
Also, check out Amazing Grace and the other books in the Grace series (picture books and chapter books) by Mary Hoffman.
Thank you Deesha for the recommendations. They look great!
We recently read this one:
http://www.amazon.com/I-Love-You-So-Much/dp/1934082260/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218677047&sr=8-1
I wonder if the lack of diversity at B and N is at all linked to the racial makeup of that particular area? Do urban stores have better selection than suburban stores? I have not searched out specific books for my 3 year-old daughter that address race or racism. I do, however, look for books with diverse characters and stories from different cultures. I have not had a problem finding any in my book stores (although there is no denying that the majority of books are by white authors with white characters.)
I certainly haven’t had problems finding books for older children or myself that address racism, et al.
It is my thought that at this young age (and because of our individual situation) that my daughter see lots of images different than her. Books where the characters are all black, hispanic, etc. and the toys that she plays with aren’t all Eurocentric. I have even made her a soft doll who has dark cocoa skin and curly brown hair. It is her favorite doll. I want her to see beauty in all it’s myriad forms.
One of her favorite books is by Debbie Allen, “Dancing in the Wings.” (It’s not targeted at her age group, but she loves to dance and so picked it out at the book store.)
(I have many books packed away, but these were two I picked off her shelf that I had bought for my son) “Black, White, Just Right!” by Marguerite W. Davol and “An Enchanted Hair Tale” by Alexis De Veaux.
As the subjects come up I will address them in an age appropriate manner, just as I did with my son.
I know that as an adult the more I read books by non-white authors the great appreciation and understanding I develop for the billions of people different from myself and my limited experiences. I hope that sharing this avenue with my children will help them develop more accurate knowledge about the world and feel less separated by race, gender, culture, religion, etc.
Perhaps what we need to do is simply develop a list of books and request that our local stores carry them! That would be a start.
Angela
Great post! We’re glad you’re here, too. Obama’s run has illuminated, for me, not only how we loathe talk to our kids about race, but loathe to talk about it as a culture — much easier to say “I don’t see color” than to address the very real abuses of power and inequalities that still pervade (more covertly, perhaps, as you say, although many, especially economic, inequalities seem pretty blatant to me!) American culture.
I’m so glad you are here. I am a white Australian living with my white Australian husband and daughter in South Africa. We are trying to raise our daughter to be an anti-rascist child. I feel very blessed that our book stores have a wide variety of children’s literature from around Africa, so she doesn’t just see people who look like herself in books. But I battle on a regular basis with the attitude of other white parents and their children who are racist in their attitudes, often without even realising it.
Do I call them out each time? I’d spend my whole life doing it. Fortunately our kid is still young enough to insulate from this, but we are going to have to deal with it soon enough. I’m thankful for the inspiration and guidance I get here.