ARP Tuesday Links

A comment from SF Mom in the previous thread led me to the blog Harlow’s Monkey and the must-read essay, “China Connections: Fearing the Adult Adoptee:”

My first official “job” as an Adoption Poster Child™ occurred when I was 16 years old, in the living room of an adoptive family and fellow church members. That day I sat with several adoptive parents of younger kids and answered questions about how I felt about being adopted. Since then, I’ve spoken with adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents at conferences, trainings, on panels and one-on-one. I’ve found most adoptive and prospective adoptive parents are eager to hear what I have to say about “adoption issues,” which means they want to learn about how to deal with issues of attachment, loss and grieving.

Talk with white adoptive parents about race and racism, however, and the walls go up. Read more…

Back in March, one of my favorite blogs, Mixed Race America, explored racial over-sensitivity and insensitivity:

It is impossible to know why he didn’t “see” me–why I was overlooked. And let me also underscore something important: THIS IS MINOR. I am not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, not when there are real racist incidents, like the example of the reporter being attacked (see March 13 post)–but I am trying to make a larger point about the ways I, and others, try to figure out our racial difference from others–and to figure out whether our discomfort is racially inflected or coming from a different source (like the minor irritation of waiting an extra 5 minutes for someone to take your order, which, again, in the bigger picture of important things to worry about, is very low on that list–and yet, putting this incident into the context of others is important in trying to figure out how to read circumstances, racially, not just for yourself but for others. And if this restaurant HAD been discriminating people on the basis of race, well, that’s something important to figure out because from a social-justice point-of-view you would want them to be held accountable for this behavior, which I think almost all of us would agree is discriminatory, wrong, and actually criminal). Read more…

Image courtesy of MadLimes on Flickr.

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About Tami

Tami Winfrey Harris writes about race, feminism, politics and pop culture at the blog What Tami Said. Her work has also appeared online at The Guardian’s Comment is Free, Ms. Magazine blog, Newsweek,, Huffington Post and Racialicious. She is a graduate of the Iowa State University Greenlee School of Journalism. She is mom to two awesome stepkids and spends her spare time researching her family history and cultivating a righteous 'fro.
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