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Jeffery Rowland’s Overcompensating comic strip (http://www.overcompensating.com/) invents the month of Crazuary today. Crazuary is “Black Future” month. That leads a character to ask, “In the future will Black people invent a style of music that White people WON’T steal?”
While Overcompensating often has race relations in its themes, the conclusion is usually something like “oppression is inescapable.” Rowland’s meditations on his Cherokee heritage, for example, typically inspire bitter commentary.
-Jeff
I’m thinking about this:
http://www.allaboutrace.com/2008/08/21/teachers-more-likely-to-spank-paddle-beat-black-children/
Attention ARP columnists! Look for the ARP Columnists group on Facebook…
My kid has been telling me that he has been playing “Indians” with the other kids. He says they were good Indians and saw the bad Indians and ran (the bad ones were imaginary).
I tried to explain to him that we are Indians, but he is 4, and had no idea what I was trying to tell him. And at 4, if he knows it bothers Mom, he’ll do it more. So, I just stopped.
My husband (who is not of Native descent) thinks it’s no big deal. Maybe it’s not….but it doesn’t feel good to me.
And I have no idea what to do.
This is what is on my mind today. Well, that and coffee.
I struggle with finding effective ways to deal with my anger. So much of our work as anti-racists involves interacting with and educating others, and I find it hard to have productive conversations with well-intentioned but clueless people when doing so brings up so many feelings of frustration, disappointment, betrayal,…etc.
In Beverly Tatum’s book “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?”, she describes the five stages of racial identity development for people of color. I place myself in the “encounter” stage, where I realize how much I have given up by trying to be white, and that is accompanied by a lot of anger. I know it’s a process to move beyond this stage into a healthier acceptance of oneself and one’s place in the world…but, is there anything I can do to speed up that process?
(Side note: I discovered ARP and its sister sites only recently and am so glad I did! Thank you all for providing such a wonderful resource.)
I am thinking about the adverse reactions people have to illegal immigrants. As I was hearing the news on this story, http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2008/08/20/illegal-immigrant-in-a-coma-set-to-be-deported-by-hospital/?mod=homeblogmod_healthblog I heard the voices of many U.S. citizens calling in and using the term “ii” as a bad word. I don’t know what the “right” thing to do is with this particular patient, but I know that all of the settlers were ii too. I don’t recall the Native Americans handing out passports to the English – do you? I find the white knapsack/privilege mentality creeping up in all areas of life, as if I can see in color for the very first time.
PureGracefulTree – I think the best way to get over the anger is to express it. Blogging is an effective way, I find.
Thanks, Gillian.
I’m trying to do more writing and speaking, rather than just reading and listening…although I’ve learned a whole lot by doing the latter here at ARP.
Gigi, what a wonderful point that the European settlers were “illegal immigrants” too! It’s so logical and so obvious, yet it never occurred to me until now.
PureGracefulTree,
I have found several ways to deal with anger issues, both physical outlets – martial arts and yoga.
After my son was born (long story short – white, single mother, of a biracial son, absent father … yadda, yadda, yadda) I had many reasons to be angry. Encountering the brutal side of racism was but one, and my mother gave me a wonderful piece of advice: Find a positive outlet for your anger before it destroys you. Martial arts did it for me, and honestly it probably saved my life – emotionally and physically. I call that phase of my life the warrior phase. I had to be and martial arts provided me with so much – support through newly developed friendships, confidence through hard work and overcoming challenges, physical release of the anger, and learning to defend myself physically and emotionally.
I have moved onto the peaceful warrior stage of my life now, and Bikram Yoga is now my medium of release. It provides all the same things Martial Arts did, just now I don’t feel the need to pummel an opponent in the do jang.
Anger is a powerful energy and you can either use it transform yourself or allow it to destroy your ability to truly realize your fullest potential. So as my mother said to me – find a positive outlet for that anger, whatever that may be.
Good luck.
Deesha,
I read that article, too. Am coming back to this late, but I am SO FRUSTRATED. I posted the link and started a discussion on another parenting group with 3000 members. The topic was school so this article was pertinent. And the parents are adoptive parents – so many transracial families. What happened? Immediately with the first response the focus was turned FROM the main point of the article (the spanking of Black children) and TO spanking in general. No one was willing to discuss the role of race in school.
Angela, thank you for those suggestions. I did practice martial arts (tae kwon do) for many years, before I became involved in anti-racism work. If I were to go back, I would probably choose a style like Aikido that focuses more on the mind and finding inner harmony. There is also the point that any physical activity helps combat stress and depression, so I’ll consider this more seriously. I know there is a lot to be gained by awareness of the mind-body connection and I’ve been letting my anger drive me to practices like poor nutrition and ignoring exercise, which only exacerbate the problem.
Justamom,
I can totally understand your frustration. I’ve saw the topic turned into a virtual pro-spanking rally *amongst black folks*, who also failed to address the true issue.
PureGracefulTree,
I also use to practice tae kwon do, as well as hapkido, eventually moved to Kickboxing and have thought about Aikido for the very same reasons! I must also add that I got my son involved in martial arts at a young age (although basketball and track have taken over now) and I cannot recommend it more highly, especially for children of color. They will be targeted, directly and indirectly, and the discipline and the self-confidence martial arts can build have been foundational in my son’s self-esteem (along with other things.)
I don’t mean it as an outlet to learn to beat-up other children, as that is against the creed of a martial artists (a good and ethical one that is.) However, it certainly helps if one is confident in their physical abilities in a confrontation and better yet developing a positive physical outlet where self-control and self-discipline are central to learning.
My son, now that he is older (14) has commented many times, “Mom, if you hadn’t taught me self-control I know I would get into a lot of trouble, especially when kids call me Oreo (etc.)”
Although it does not directly address the people in authority who target our children unfairly, martial arts can be an avenue where our children can learn to cope with and overcome the problems those unfortunate situations may create for their sense of self.
It’s very difficult to help those who most need our help when we neglect our own needs! Take care of yourself FIRST and it will be much easier to serve those who need an advocate.
Take care and best wishes,
Angela