Open thread

11 Responses to Open thread

1. Perdita says:

   October 23, 2008 at 10:31 am

   I went to my first open house last night for a possible preschool for my son. The place was gorgeous, very clean and new, with what seemed a very innovative and creative curriculum. However, all the photos of kids appeared to be white, the administration except for 1 and maybe 2 people were white, and the vast majority of the attending families were white. So during the Q&A period I asked if they had plans to increase their diversity–and this is where things got, to my mind, upsetting. One administrator answered with what I thought a overtone of impatience and hostility that they were trying “one kernel at a time” and that they “never knew who was going to show up at these things.” Then when I asked if they were doing active outreach, they immediately veered into a discussion of financial aid (as the sole black couple attending said to me afterward, that shows what they associate diversity with) and how they aren’t federally funded (which I guess means they’re not required to worry about the issue).

   I was really turned off and upset by this, but at the same time, I hear such dire stories about preschooling in my city that I’m worried I should apply anyway and try to change things from the inside (if we’re accepted–maybe I’m now marked as the “troublemaker”). How do parents make that difficult choice between a “good” school and a “diverse” school? I guess I naively thought that educators interested in “innovative” education would see diversity as an essential part of that innovation. Ha, ha.

   Anyway, how have people worked out a balance?
   I don’t want my son to be the only person of color in a school, or even one of two or three. I want him to be in a really rich, diverse environment that yet has a great curriculum. But is that possible??
2. crystal says:

   October 23, 2008 at 2:10 pm

   Our son is at a Head Start preschool for exactly these reasons. The student, teacher, and administrative populations are diverse and the structure and education are phenomenal.

   The program is geared towards low-income families; but our site is consistently displaying their “open house” sign.

   Before this, he was at a Jewish preschool, which was a different (through rather homogeneous) culture from our own. We looked at his overall life diversity, not just school diversity, and felt it was OK for him to be at this school for a time.

   Of course, your insights into the way the administration answered your questions may be a stronger indication of “balance” at this preschool.
3. NorthStar says:

   October 25, 2008 at 12:14 am

   Visit several schools, even the ones that people assume are substandard. I teach kindergarten in a relatively diverse school (40% white, 50% Latino, 10% other). Many neighborhood families refuse to even visit our school. They believe rumors that we are underperforming, that the Spanish speaking students cause teachers to water down the education, and parents fear that their child won’t make any friends. The reality is that we provide an outstanding education, have an active PTA, and our students have a mix of friends. I live in a very affluent community and my neighborhood school is all white and asian. I am asian and I have chosen to send my daughter to the school where I teach. At school, she is learning life skills that can only be absorbed through experience. I don’t want my kids to go out into the real world and not know how to interact with people from all classes.
4. Wendy says:

   October 25, 2008 at 8:41 pm

   I openly disowned half of my family tonight due to their finally admitting after being confronted that they are in fact racist and have no intentions of changing. Oddly, I am not even feeling sad at the loss of a huge part of my extended family.
   Just had to get it out there. Thanks for allowing me to just say it.
5. msladydeborah says:

   October 25, 2008 at 11:39 pm

   This is my first visit to your site.
   I took a moment to read the open thread comments.

   Crystal:
   I work for Head Start so I feel pretty good about the comments that have been made about our program.

   Perdita:
   When my children were growing up and entering school, finding a suitable situation was one of the biggest challenges that we faced as parents.

   I had to spend time doing a serious search to find the right placements. I visited a lot of different pre schools and schools. Each one of my children ended up at a center that was public and had a diverse population.
6. Katie says:

   October 26, 2008 at 6:26 pm

   Wendy – my best wishes go out to you. That is a really really hard place to be. I’m thinking of you.
7. justice says:

   October 26, 2008 at 7:56 pm

   wendy, that’s really sad. i’m so sorry to hear that. i hope you find some peace with that.
8. Shigeta says:

   October 26, 2008 at 8:30 pm

   My daughter and I were at our local B.orders on Friday night browsing. While she was looking for a book i stood to the side and waited (watched). A little boy of 5 or 6 could be heard telling his mom, “I’m gonna go sit on the steps and read.” He said the last word as he came into view, then said in the loudest stage whisper, “MOOMMMY. I’m scared of people with brown skin.” Her response, “Shh. Come stand by me then.” That’s all you got? Come by me then? Where was the, “Bobby, that’s rude. We.do.not.say.that.” Well it’s because YOU do say that. The more things change the more they stay the same. We live in a very diverse town….full of brown, light and dark, yellow, creme, pink colored skin, so I was blown away by the ignorance of both mother and child.
9. Wendy says:

   October 27, 2008 at 7:56 am

   Thank you for your thoughts, I am so grateful for a place to be able to just say the words.
   A couple of days have passed now and I am still in a place of contentment. I guess I have just come to a place in life that I have no use for harmful people. I know you can’t choose your relatives, but you can choose to acknowledge them and to allow them into yours and your children’s lives–I can’t do it. I don’t want my daughter to pick up on their “subtle” racism, as I have for years, and now that they are open about it there is no way I am going to expose her (or myself) to their hatred.

   I am tired of explaining. I am tired of constantly educating them to just get stupid comments and resistance.

   It is odd that I felt an obligation to remain in contact with them for years–pulling away gradually–just because they are related. I would never choose them as friends.

   It is over and I am free.
10. Agibean says:

    October 28, 2008 at 11:54 am

    Perdita–We have a biracial daughter (I am white, my husband is black) who began this school year at a predominantly white public school for gifted children. We thought long nad hard about making the move, even though we’d been invited to test her in as part of an increased outreach to families of color.

    There had been in the past, a scathing report about racism as a culture in the school and the entire advanced learning program. So naturally we were VERY reluctant.

    What we did after speaking to other parents with children of color is decide to join and be the change we wanted to see. We joined the parent diversity committee a full 6 months before our daughter even started school there, and spoke several times with the principal and the district’s program director. We volunteer at the school-my husband will be reading ghost stories to the kids on Halloween, among other things.

    So far things have gone well. Up until this year, our child attended only neighborhood schools, which were very diverse. She is the only child who identifies as black in her class, and one of only about a dozen in a school of 500. So it’s been a huge change. But she loves the challenge of the school work and has made many new friends.

    We are committed to reaching out to other families of color and to be part of the face of the school for tours and open houses. The school only goes through 5th grade, and our daughter is in 4th-so by the time she leaves there won’t have been too much of a change, but we’ll remain involved.

    The middle and high school programs are in much more diverse schools with a mix of gifted and traditional students, with principals who make sure they mingle. We’ll be active there too.

    Yes, we’re already seen as sqeaky wheels, but we don’t care-we want the administration on notice that the school should reflect the city’s diversity and respect ALL the students.

    I’d be happy to answer any questions you have about our experience thus far.
11. Assaugjap says:

    January 22, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Hi! A good forum, glad to join you