Open thread

14 Responses to Open thread

1. oterhog says:

   November 13, 2008 at 10:52 am

   I’m white, raising a 5 year old white child, and I’d really like to get info/resources about “anti racist” children’s books. As most of you are probably aware, it’s hard to find children’s books that aren’t just about white characters. I even believe that many children’s books with animals as the characters are primarily white. I have bought some books about people from other cultures, but I’d really like my son to do more than just know about people of other colors/cultures. I want him to have access to books with people of color in them where the story isn’t explicitly about the characters’ race or ethnicity. For example, we have the book “A Snowy Day” by Ezra Keats–the main character is a Black child enjoying a snowy day. The book is simply about this boy playing in the snow and isn’t about his race. Are there other books out there for young children with people of color as the main characters (not token side-kicks of white characters) and the story isn’t explicitly about their race?
2. Claudia says:

   November 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm

   Oterhog, I’m always searching for books like this for my daughter too. There is certainly value in empowering stories about ethnic characters, but it is also nice to read beautiful, everyday tales about children of all races. In any case, these lovely books features African American (and African) children:

   *Not Norman: A Goldfish Story
   *Lola at the Library
   *Please, Puppy, Please (and Please, Baby, Please)
   *Pretty Salma: A Little Red Riding Hood Story from Africa
   *Shanna’s Doctor Show (and the “Shanna” series)
3. ZRose says:

   November 13, 2008 at 3:19 pm

   I like Vera B. Williams’ books, A Chair for My Mother, Something Special for Me, and Music, Music for Everyone. Also Cherries and Cherry Pits.
4. Colette says:

   November 13, 2008 at 4:31 pm

   The Corduroy Books by Don Freeman
5. Dr. H says:

   November 13, 2008 at 5:44 pm

   Claudia, we love Lola at the Library too. Also:

   *Silly Mammo
   *The Chinese Siamese Cat by Amy Tan
   *Grace for President by Kelly DiPucchio
6. Nicole says:

   November 13, 2008 at 5:47 pm

   I’m in tears as I write this so forgive me if it sounds scattered or unpolished. It probably will be….
   In the past several weeks I have seen “silent” racists come out. My husband and I(both Caucasian) have been in the adoption process for almost 2 years, through our county’s foster care system and our entire family knew that we planned to, very happily, adopt any child of any race(and because 95% of the children in the system here are African American and/or Hispanic, we assumed that we would be placed with a child of either or both of these races). Our family seemed quite agreeable about the whole thing and we felt sure that our future child, whatever his or her race would be welcomed into our (extended)family. We have been studying and becoming prepared to be a transracial family for the duration of the process. We were placed with a Caucasian son nearly 6 weeks ago, and while we were thrilled of course to welcome our new child, we were definitely surprised. Little did I know, how “surprised” our extended family would be as well. They were SO HAPPY that we had been placed with a Caucasian child and couldn’t stop saying that it was a “miracle” and that this child was “made for us.” The implication being, of course, that we were MORE blessed just because this child looked like us and was not of another race. On more than one occasion I have had absolutely no words for these people. It is embarrassing and disheartening.

   My husband has been blown away by the racist comments thrown around in a supposedly comical manner in his workplace since our future President was elected. He has made several attempts to put an end to their rude words but it all falls on the deaf ears of his co-workers.

   And it all came to a head last night while my extremely articulate husband defended his anti-racist position for an entire evening with his father who was here for dinner. The words that came from his(my father in law’s) mouth were so astounding, shocking and despicable that I left the room, forcing my 3 and a half year old (biological)daughter to come with me and didn’t say another word to him except “good night.” During my son’s middle of the night feedings I was thinking and crying and almost sick about my father in law’s thinking. I cannot believe that this “silent” racist has fooled me for the almost 7 years I’ve known him. I can’t believe that he acted like he was so happy for us about adopting outside of our race when really he thinks………….words I cannot even type, about non-whites.
   Thank you “anti racist parent” for offering us an outlet to VENT!!!!
7. Jeff says:

   November 13, 2008 at 9:03 pm

   Juanita Havill has a series of picture books about a first grader named Jamaica. She has a big brother and a loving mother and father. Her classmates are from a diverse background. We have a few of them and from what I remember, none has race as a theme, which seems to me to be a good way to promote positive identity and equality.

   As a returned Peace Corps Volunteer, I appreciate the vibrant, accurate illustrations of Polly Alakija’s “Catch That Goat.”

   The Fortune-Tellers by Lloyd Alexander takes place in Cameroon, I think.

   Phillis Gershator’s “Sweet, Sweet Fig Banana” is about a boy and his community on a Caribbean island, possibly Haiti. And from the same author, a story of mismatched romance: “Tiny and Bigman”.

   James Rumford’s books seem to have many non-White protagonists, though the only one I’ve read so far is the lyrical “Calabash Cat” where the animals are not obviously White.

   Thanks to Claudia and ZRose for your suggestions!

   -Jeff
8. Mogs says:

   November 14, 2008 at 12:48 am

   Several of the American Girls’ book series are about non-white protagonists; Kaya, Addy, and Josefina for example. My mother started reading these to me when I was in preschool and I continued to enjoy reading them until I was 11 or 12, so I’d recommend them highly. These would probably appeal more to girls than boys , although my 6yr old nephew will listen to me reading them to his sisters, while pretending not to pay attention.
9. sallyjrw says:

   November 14, 2008 at 8:13 am

   Nicole, I can certainly feel for you.

   I’m white and I’ve been married to a black man for 7 years. We recently decided to start our family. When I was getting married, everyone in my family said, “It doesn’t matter that he’s black. Racism is over.” Now that I’m pregnant, I’ve had no support. My father said, “This is going to kill your career.” My grandmother said, “It’s such a terrible world to raise kids in.” Then several aunts and uncles said, “Raising kids is a lot of responsibility. It takes a lot of work.” No congratulations, no “I’m happy for you,” nothing about how rewarding parenting can be, nothing positive at all. I tried to reason with myself that maybe they said they same things to my brother two years ago when he had a white daughter. But two nights ago, I was talking to my cousin and our grandmother told her when I first got married that she hoped I never had a biracial child. And her parents told her it’s not a good idea to have mixed children because “so many people don’t accept them”
   (which let’s face it is just code for “I don’t accept them”). And then she told me what our grandfather said when Obama was elected (very nasty). I guess my family is “too polite” to say anything to me. I’m shocked at the racism in my family. And it makes me go over all the questionable things that have happened over the years again. Being white, it’s easier to push questionable things aside and say maybe I’m imagining it, maybe I’m reading it wrong. But then I hear these pretty direct comments. It’s hard to reconcile societal norms that have been pushed on me (racism is pretty much over, only evil people are racist, good people don’t see color) with my reality (racism is more covert, everyone has prejudices that need to be examined, anti-racism is something you work at).
10. Holly says:

    November 14, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Nicole, I just want you to know that you are not the only one. The “silent racism” has reared it’s ugly head in my family as well. It is amazing how the light has been turned on to these ugly things with Pres. elect Obama’s run. Some family political & religious disagreements have been the catalyst for showing attitudes as they really are.
    I too, am saddened and disheartened that I really didn’t know people I love, as I thought I did.
    Yet – I am learning about tolerance by my fear of intolerance. As hurt as I am, my eyes have been opened and much self examination has been a great thing!

    We are in the process of adopting a child from China, and have 2 very young biracial grand children. I am very glad we live on the other side of the country from my family, now. It is so disappointing.

    So grateful for the book recommendations! We are filling up the bookshelf!
11. dianne m says:

    November 14, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    Highlight High Five magazine is does a pretty good job with multi-ethnic characters and gives your child (under 6) something to look for in the mail. My son loves it.
12. tanya says:

    November 14, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    I am having a big problem in my family as well. I have just found out the my sister and her boyfriend do not want their daughter who is white to be around and only have “limited exposure” to my biracial daughter. They actually called my daughter “a product of a interracial relationship.” Because of this it has hurt my entire family, who do not agree with them, and we (my sister and I) will no longer have a relationship. My sister actually called this entire mess a “bru-ha-ha” which is entirely insulting. Any thoughs?
13. Maree B. says:

    November 14, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    To sallyjrw:

    Congratulations on starting your own family. Though your family of origin cannot celebrate your pregnancy, because of their racism, I’ll bet you have some friends who will.
    As we become more and more anti racist in our thinking and living, we sometimes have to redefine the relationships that do not support us. Certainly it is hard to do this with parents, siblings, etc., but often these are no longer the kinds of relationships that nurture and support us.
14. sallyjrw says:

    November 16, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    Maree B.,
    Thanks for the advise. My husband’s parents are much more supportive and my coworkers just threw me a baby shower. I’m thankful for the support I do have. I couldn’t imagine living back in the times when the entire country was against you.