Crossposted from Welcome to the Dollhouse
My boss is such a sweetie. Whenever we’re in meetings and someone makes a statement that is so confused, addle-headed, or just plain out there, instead of responding with a “what the hell are you talking about?!” he does the nice thing and takes the onus on himself for the lack of understanding and asks, “what am I missing here?” It’s such a considerate act that keeps the other person from getting pissy and defensive. And for this post, I plan to steal his technique.
I am the first one to admit that like my fellow Ivy Leaguers Barack and Michelle, some have accused me of being elitist. Yes I have a penchant for subject-verb agreement, I shop at Target and not Walmart, and would kill myself if my daughter told me that she wanted to dance on a pole rather than go to college. If that is the definition of elitism, well I guess I am guilty.
I put this out there because in my prethinking of how this post might be received, my concern was that it might be seen as elitist. Yet I happily own my elitism when it rears its ugly head. However, in this situation, I’m not sure this is about elitism. Something else is jangling with me that I don’t think can be simply written off as my being part of the club that refuses to drink White Zinfandel. There’s something else amiss. Let’s get to it.
Last week I received the FAO Schwarz
holiday catalog. As a good consumer with a young ‘un, I decided to flip through their offerings to see if there was anything special that had Zara’s name on it. Of course, the first item that caught my eye was this wooden doctor’s office playset:
Yes, she’s not old enough for this and with the current state of medicine it is really really really not a good idea for her to go into medicine, but I thought it was cute…and wasn’t made of bright plastic.
I also saw some other interesting career/activity playsets.
Here’s the workbench playset:
(It’s listed for boys, but we don’t follow no stinkin’ gender rules!)
The ice cream cart:
A grocery cart:
The grilling set:
And then I came to the item that has continued to puzzle me. It puzzles me for these reasons:
- It is in the (high end) FAO Schwarz catalog
- It costs $150
- I cannot imagine any desire to buy this item for a child
I’ll say no more. I’ll just show you. Here is the $150 wooden housekeeping cart playset:
Please note that this isn’t the let’s clean the house type of housecleaning playset. This is a replica of the carts that housekeeping services use to clean hotels and buildings. I’m not trying to say that housekeeping isn’t a perfectly reasonable job, but is it a job for “let’s pretend?”
Maybe I’m particularly sensitive to this because just two generations ago my grandmother was on her knees cleaning people’s houses so that my mother and aunt could get their educations and advanced degrees. My grandparents came to the US from the West Indies, struggled and scraped by so that we, their descendants, could get ahead. They wanted us to work with our minds and not on our knees.
So I’m looking at this housekeeping playset and I’m asking myself, what am I missing here? Help me out. (Boss also says this as well.)
**Maybe I’m particularly sensitive to this because just two generations ago my grandmother was on her knees cleaning people’s houses so that my mother and aunt could get their educations and advanced degrees. My grandparents came to the US from the West Indies, struggled and scraped by so that we, their descendants, could get ahead. They wanted us to work with our minds and not on our knees.**
Liana, this was soooo my grandmother too! She wouldn’t answer me when, as a child, I said that I too wanted to drive the manual elevators, which she did (in addition to maid work), standing up, for 40 years, so you can imagine the toll on her body. What some might not be able to imagine is the disrespect she encountered. Service occupations are indeed “honest work”, but I certainly wouldn’t wish for my children the disrespect and struggle that can come with them.
Again, I think it’s context. I predict the reaction you’ll get (or have gotten) is that it’s innocent fun and that housekeeping is honorable work, blahblahblah… But like you, my family’s context matters in how *I* view something like this. Definitely not something I’d purchase for my kids, not because I think it will encourage them to be housekeepers, but because my grandmother’s experience gives me that sensitivity you mention. Others may not “get it”, but that’s cool–it’s not their family story.
I’m sorry to say I don’t know what you’re missing either, but that made me laugh!! What idiot approved that idea!
I see where you’re coming from, but I’m guessing the logic is this:
1. Kids like pretend cleaning supplies. My son’s attachment object for nearly a year was a small broom.
2. Parents like it when toys that go together can be contained in one place.
3. Kids like things with wheels, especially things they can push. This also gives a typical girl toy “boy” appeal. If you’ve ever seen toddlers battle over a doll stroller, you know what I’m talking about.
So I’m guessing it was just an attempt to present a set of cleaning toys in a way that presents a storage option which is also appealing to kids because it has wheels and can be pushed.
It is closer for you. Just two generations ago your grandmother was dong this work — it was probably the only option to her.
I would think the majority of FAO Shwartz buyers are so far from this job that it is a fun/safe fantasy.
I (upper class white woman) would get it for my children, as I see absolutely no danger that this would be the only job available for them, there is no danger that it is a job that people would think my children should have. The only cleaning they, or me, or any of my parents or grandparents “had” to do is cleaning for ourselves.
I’m a white college professor and the mother of two boys by birth (a slew of foster boys but they came to me as teenagers). When I see that toy in the context of the anti-racist forum I see all sorts of problems with it. However, when I was a young mother I was raising little privileged white boys. I was always looking for ways to counter that.
So this toy would have been way out of my price range, but I would have looked at it longingly. I would have thought it would help them to understand that all work is worthy and maybe even made them feel that people who used such carts were not really different from them.
I also would have hoped that it encouraged them to “help” when I and my husband cleaned.
I would never ever have given it to a girl or any child of color. I think the gift does say, “You could grow up to work with one of these” and that is a good message to send to privileged white boys, but not to anyone else.
I doubt the manufacturers were thinking of people like me though. I would think they were thinking of rich SAHM’s who want to encourage their kids to help, or at least keep them busy pretending while mom cleans.
I am fairly certain that I am a fellow elitist, or would be so perceived by others. What am I missing here? Why is it such a bad idea to want to pretend to be someone who has a job cleaning? I understand that real people have the job of cleaning person and that it may not have been their first choice in career, but I don’t understand how playing a cleaning person as a child would be an offensive or ridiculous idea. There are toys that allow children to try on all sorts of jobs: cashiers, woodworkers, dog groomers, electricians, plumbers, as well as the standard doctor, nurse, and teacher. I am curious if you have a similar feeling of unrest about the popular Handy Manny show and the toys that go along with it. He is a handy man, a job that most elite would perhaps not encourage their young ones to aspire to.
My grandfather was a school custodian, proudly, and was able to earn a very decent living for a family of 6 on his income. He took great pride in his work. My aunt cleans houses for a living; she has a college degree but decided that the flexibility of her schedule and the money she could make as a house cleaner were more desirable than the 9-5 grind of a desk job. Our family is a mix of blue collar and white, with electricians, carpenters, and cabinetry installers sitting alongside lawyers, research scientists, and nuclear engineers. There is a place and need in our society for all types of work; if my kids wanted to try on the job title of cleaning person for size, I would certainly find no harm in allowing and maybe even encouraging that.
I’m not sure what kind of feedback you are seeking, so I’ll be interested in other’s comments.
Do you want to know if you’re attitude is elitist?
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I personally not comfortable without more information from you. I’m not following your reasoning for why you can’t imagine buying this product for your children. All you really mention is concern over whether this is a job for “let’s pretend”. Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t understand why housekeeping can be a valid job and not a valid pretend job.
It probably won’t happen, but what I would love to hear, here, is from someone who currently has this job, that is, as a housecleaner or hotel cleaner. I know that here in the SF Bay Area, hotel workers who use the real life versions of carts like that are often engaged in struggles around unionizing and quality of life/better pay type struggles.
No doubt they want something “better” for their kids; I think all poor and working class people want to build a better life and better options for their kids.
i think it’s a weird toy, but I do wonder about how folks who are appalled by it as a toy feel about the people who do that work now. If housecleaning is not good, solid, working class work, it’s the fault of the bosses primarily for squeezing their profits out of the sweat of workers.
but for sure I recognize it’s complicated for people who have this sort of work in their (or their family’s) past but have managed to work themselves up classwise. and it’s also true that the people who do this work are primarily women of color. But I wonder how we keep the line of feeling like we want something more for ourselves/our kids without disrespecting the hard workers who currently have these jobs and in many cases are engaged in struggles at those job sites.
My daughter would love this, as would her (boy) best friend. I think kids of a certain age love the idea of cleaning, and I could see getting this as a way to encourage that (although the price is ridiculous). There are also “let’s pretend” sets for fast food restaurants that come with logo-encrusted hats, headsets, cash registers, etc., and I don’t really see the point of encouraging that as a job aspiration either.
As I was scrolling down this article, the thing that I noticed about all of the pictures is that they had little white kids in them. I thought that this article would be complaining about the bad advertising job that was happening in the FAO Schwartz catalogue (though this isn’t something that I’ve ever had the desire to open).
I’m white and raising a white son. For me, as stated above by a couple of parents, this would not be a bad option (though I wouldn’t ever pay that much for it). My son has his own cleaning bucket and towels and his own broom and dustpan at home. He is expected to clean up after himself, and I don’t expect a person of his stature and small hands to use my cleaning tools – so he has his own. Like Happy Woman wrote above, much of this comes from my privilege. I wouldn’t be upset if my son chose to clean hotels, but I would never expect him to make a “career” of that either.
I feel like my son gets an education at school that has to do with academic type knowledge, but that it is up to me, as his parent, to teach him the real knowledge – of how to cook, how to clean, how to manage money (even if it is just a piggy bank right now), how to shop, etc… There are tools that are necessary for some of these things, so I am not so offended by that toy for children.
I am, however, completely offended by these catalogs that continue to feature white children and white people again and again, as well as boys next to the “boy” toys and girls next to the “girl” toys and feel somewhat like they are breaking the gender barrier because they had the guts to put a female child in front of a doctor’s office toy. Blech.
I don’t know, something about this toy just rubs me the wrong way. I think it is because of the stereotype. Of course there is nothing wrong with cleaning houses for a living (one of my best friends did this to get herself through college). Maybe it is because my daugther is Guatemalan and would be a victim of this kind of stereotype or maybe it’s because I have never seen a toy like this in my life and I just need some time to get used to it. All I know is I would never buy it for my daughter.
I would WANT to buy my kids this toy, because I agree that it would probably be very appealing to them, but I probably wouldn’t because of the stereotype. It does bother me that certain jobs carry a heavy stigma, though, and I’ve often wondered what we can do about this problem. I have a master’s degree and recently found myself stocking books in a local book store. And I’ve worked other such jobs in between positions and hated the fact that I couldn’t just tell people what I did without eliciting, “Awwww, poor you!” The idea that your work is supposed to define who you are is bothersome to me. So I think I am mostly upset that I could not freely buy such a gift for my kids because these stereotypes and stigmas exist, because some jobs are not just jobs. (And I also must admit that I first thought this post was going to be about all the white kids in the catalogue!)
Gosh. I’m worried my post doesn’t convey my thoughts very well. What I’m trying to say is that racism, both past and present, which forces us to have to carefully examine something like this and worry about whether or not it’s a good toy for our kids, is upsetting. This toy would certainly be appealing for young kids who love pushing things and playing with tools. I wish I could buy something like this without giving it a second thought. And I wonder if the right action is to throw the stereotypes out the window and buy it anyway in an act of defiance? Or not buy it to avoid the associations all together?
Perhaps a sure sign of being elitist is worrying that you might be an elitist. But if Target over Walmart is your criteria then I join your group.
Your FAO c ataloge discovery reminded me of a playground that has always bothered me.
I was fortunate enough to begin my teaching career in a small town on the shores of Lake Okeechobee named Belle Glade, Florida. While this town claims to be racially mixed it was always and continues to be completely segregated. The white children attend the local private school and the black children go to public school. Indeed, while I was still teaching there in 2001 there was a controversy over a possible lynching.
Perhaps not surprisingly, for most of the 20th century the majority of African-American’s in Belle Glade grew up to work in the agriculture industry that dominated the town – particularly sugar, rice, corn and other crops.
I occasionally had to visit one of the elementary schools in town and was immediately struck by the playground. It had the typical swings and merry-go-round but also many “jungle-gym” type contraptions in the shape of trucks with steering wheels, back-hoes with real working arms, and bull-dozers. Are we preparing the kids for their future or pre-determining their jobs? Of course – I may be looking too deeply into it, but now that the primary industry in Belle Glade is represented by several prisons the high school sponsors criminal justice courses.
**But I wonder how we keep the line of feeling like we want something more for ourselves/our kids without disrespecting the hard workers who currently have these jobs and in many cases are engaged in struggles at those job sites.**
Sadie, it’s pretty easy. I show individuals in this profession respect. When we stay at hotels, for example, I make eye contact, make small talk, tip, and make sure my kids pick up after themselves just as they would at home. I don’t have to buy a toy like this to show respect for the profession.
Also (re: Sadie’s point) a relative of mine once told me when I was in high school that no matter where I work or do business, always treat custodians and secretaries with the same respect and acknowledgment I would a CEO. So, again, make conversation, make eye contact, etc. I remember riding elevators with my grandmother and how many times her friendly “Good morning!” to her passengers went unanswered.
Some service professionals are trained to “appear invisible” (think the janitor cleaning up the office after hours), but maybe it’s the Southerner in me–if we’re in each other’s personal space and/or make eye contact, I feel compelled to speak.
I really don’t think it’s a stretch to respect individuals in a particular profession and still not want that profession for your child, or yourself. One of my uncles used to be a sanitation worker (he would say “garbage man”) and later a custodian, and he certainly didn’t encourage his stepson to follow in his footsteps.
@ Sara:
Your comment illustrates what I meant by context. In your family history, the context of such work is generally positive. For others…not so much:
“Domestic work remained a low-status job, but now it was identified with women of color, whose concentration in domestic work increased as African-American, Mexican-American, and American Indian women migrated from farms to urban centers and white women moved into other occupations. In 1920, 46 percent of African-American women workers were domestic workers; in 1930, 53 percent; and in 1940, 60 percent. (Even when industrial and clerical jobs opened up further during World War II, it was mostly white women who increasingly escaped domestic work, so that by 1944, black women made up over 60 percent of all domestic workers.)”
And the experiences for some such workers–who took pride in their work as did your relatives–was and is exploitive and degrading.
“The most common form of domestic work by the 1980s was day-cleaning, often contracted for with commercial companies employing a labor force of older white and African-American women, or immigrant women from Mexico, Latin America, or the West Indies. Most white Americans who were listed as domestic service workers were teenage baby-sitters…”
http://www.answers.com/topic/domestic-work
Just because you went IVY doesn’t make you elitist. What makes you elitist is that you shop at Target! How dare you!
The cleaning cart immediately struck me as odd. Perhaps it raised some gender stereotype issues for me, or maybe even some latent racism in the item.
Then I thought that most housekeeping service professionals would not be able to afford this FAO Schwartz to encourage their child to see how interesting their career choice was. $150 for this seems high.
Then, I decided to snoop around and found that there are other companies that have these things, and other countries.
http://www.etoys.com/genProduct.html/PID/2692539/ctid/17?cpncode=12-1483762-2&srccode=cii_13389012&_e=49347&_v=493475C5V9AIa4148009D647
http://www.sweetbabyfeet.nl/catalog/product_info.php/cPath/21/products_id/105
I also remembered that there are collectors who look for antique “cleaning set” toys and value them highly. Wolverine was a popular company in the 1950s and 60s.
Perhaps what rubs us the wrong way is the immediate image and guilt associated with the cleaning cart. We often assume, and perhaps wrongly so, that these people are poor, had no other option, and detest cleaning our rooms at hotels. We also picture someone, generally female, who is of ethnic minority.
In an age where chefs are revered, yet maids are shunned, we are perhaps recognizing our own class tendencies when we get that hollow stomach feeling.
I would personally never buy this item for my daughter because I teach her how to clean with a real broom and real rags.
I thank you all for your comments. Before writing this post I worried that my feelings about the cart could or would be construed as classist/elitist when it was actually triggering a different reaction in me. Sure there was the obvious irony of a $150 kids’ maids’ cart playset being sold at FAO Schwarz, but beyond that, the idea of that cart for my daughter jangled on a deeper level. It just took me a little while longer to move from “this feels wrong” to “here’s why this feels wrong to me.”
For some people, this toy maid’s cart is a simple toy that is of little import. Next week the child will have left the cart and moved on to butterfly collecting or digging holes in the garden. It is wonderful in its simplicity. But for this woman of color who is raising a child of color, the toy is a bit more complex.
I am so very vigilant about the messages (or potential messages) that my daughter receives about herself and where she stands in the world, just as my family was with me. For example, my mother (a physician) refused to allow anyone to give me a nurse’s kit as a toy when I was a kid. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nurse. But my mom who was told too many times in the late 50s that she *should* choose nursing rather than become a doctor did not want me to feel that I had to “play nurse” simply because I was a girl. She would not have it. The message behind the nurse’s kit was something that concerned her. (She also was not a fan of the Suzy Homemaker products either.)
But even today, when I see little black kids still choosing the white doll over the black one because the white one is better/prettier/more desirable, my heart breaks. It shows me that a toy is not always just a toy for children of color. So I know that I have to be vigilant about getting my daughter dolls of all hues and helping her to see that dark skin and nappy hair is just as beautiful as the images she sees on TV and in magazines. And when I saw my black and brown teen patients deciding to limit their career and educational goals, I pushed them to reach for more than they had imagined, not because their goals were bad, but because we should not limit ourselves for reasons of race and class. For this reason, I could not buy my child this housekeeping cart. Even if she is unaware of it, I do not want to message to her that this “lets pretend” item is where mommy and daddy see her dreams reaching one day.
Any gainful employment is worthy of respect. I treat everyone with respect because there but for the grace of God go I. I am not better than another but I am also not less than another. (Though I’ve been put in the less than place many, many times.) In my family, we do whatever is necessary to put food on the table, keep a roof over our heads, and educate our children. So if I or my daughter ends up cleaning toilets or washing floors to put food on the table, we will do it proudly. But this does not mean that I will buy her a let’s pretend housekeeping cart set. My let’s pretend fulfillment as her mom will be with items that encourage her hopes, dreams and passions. That is what is most important to me.
I can understand your discomfort with all this and so does the amazing Toni Cade Bambara. If you haven’t read her uncanny 1972 short story, “The Lesson,” please do. You can find it here:
http://cai.ucdavis.edu/gender/thelesson.html
What am I missing here? I don’t see any problem with that toy. What is the difference between that one and all the other sets? All of them are for pretending…
As a preschool teacher, I can tell you if our class bought this, it would predominantly be boys wanting to use it
they have incredible fights over things like dustpans and the “little brooms” for sweeping the sandpit edges.
It also wouldn’t stop them – or the girls who used it – wanting to be doctors or rocket drivers or Batman when they grew up
I don’t think anyone (in my experience) would see it as some kind of mechanism to label or limit a child’s ambitions. It’s a skill teacher; *all* adults need to know how to sweep and clean, whatever they end up doing with their lives. It’s a basic skill (surely)?
I can see where you come from.
My husband used to help the school janitor and loved it. That is one of his favorite memories. So, I see this as a positive thing. I, also, would not pay so much for it.
But, my daughter will have the tool bench, doctor stuff, and other items.
I have to go with Arjuna’s feelings on this. Like pretnd cooking and pretend teaching and the other things kids play it, pretend cleaning helps with skill building.
That said, my late mother-in-law was a hotel maid and my late father-in-law was a janitor. My husband has told me and our biracial daughter many stories about the life they endured in order to give their kids something better. And our daughter, 9, absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES to clean. She’s had a low-end version of a cleaning kit for sometime now and actually has her own real mop and scrubber.
I asked the husband how he felt about this-our bright little girl just BEGGING to please be allowed to wash the windows, scrub the floors-by hand!-and dust. His reply is that she’s welcome to play at it all she likes, because his parents would have whupped the kids’ butts if they’d not kept the house spotless. The kids all had cleaning chores, learned to cook and shop and do for real all the things privileged little white kids do for pretend. HIS daughter gets to play at it, while cherishing the stories about her grandparents.
But that’s not to say we’re not well aware of the stereotypes-so she also has a doctor’s kit, a vet’s kit, a science kit and about 11 baby dolls plus some fairy wings. We let her “try on” all the personas she wants, while encouraging her to reach as high as she can.
I’m actually much more bothered when a catalog has only white kids, like Land’s End used to do. I wrote them years ago about their model choices, and I’ve notices that now the kids are more varied in race. I’m sure my one letter didn’t change things, but I wanted them to know that it bothered me.
I first saw this toy (a plastic version) about 5 years ago and was as baffled then as I am now. What bothers me is that all the other examples you cite, and indeed all the other “pretend” toys one sees in catalogues are activities that kids can relate to. I don’t think I want to really buy my daughter a vacuum cleaner, but I understand why she might want one – because she sees grown-ups vacuuming and she wants to behave like a grown-up.
But my daughter NEVER sees anyone pushing a maid’s cart. We don’t stay in hotels, I don’t take my daughter to the office after hours, I’m not even sure they have cleaners at her school. So how could she relate to it?
What I am missing is what was the motivation behind this product idea? And what is the motivation behind the parent’s buying it?
deesha,
I also interact respectfully with service workers, having been one myself. I value working class solidarity! and yes. every single person deserves respect regardless of how they earn an income..unless that income is earned by exploiting others, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish!
I think my question was more about…can we write about not wanting our kids to end up doing certain kinds of work without conveying disrespect through that writing?
I agree with Treena. My (black and white) son would LOVE this toy. I’d get it for him if we could afford it. It might promote cleaning skills that every person needs. Our kids are going to grow up to do chores, right? My son loves his pretend vacuum, but I don’t think that makes a statement about his future occupation. Indeed, one of my son’s favorite people is our trash man. We followed the trash truck every Thursday for almost a year (I had to go back to work), and my son got 3 garbage trucks last Christmas.
If, for you, it’s hurtful, I can understand that. But I don’t think it’s a toy meant to send messages of any kind.
Liana – thanks so much for your additional explanation – that helps me understand quite a bit (great blog – btw!). Again – it is indeed a perspective that each family will find unique. Whether we like it or not, a toy is not just a toy.
For me – there’s not a thing wrong with maid’s cart – in fact, there’s something to be said for including “work-related” toys of all sorts in a collection. For me, it’s about sending a message that all work is noble and worthy of respect and that class separation should not be enforced. Now – the reality is that the class structure exists, but from my perspective, but avoiding the maid’s cart only enhances the negative aspects of that structure.
I know it’s hard to keep up with these comments, and I hope this question isn’t too direct – but you seem open to it
. I wonder if you also worry that your apprehension about this particular toy leaves you at risk of sending the message that your Grantparent’s history is something to be ashamed of? Please don’t take that the wrong way. It would be akin to me sending a message to my kids that pig farming and coal mining are to be avoided, KWIM?
Oh @Modernmommy – I’m totally with you. My daughter is Guatemalan as well, and we’re had several comments about us “bringing home a housekeeper,” but luckily nothing from the family.
Now, if a family member bought our daughter the maid’s cart and our white nephews a doctor’s kit – then I’d be raising an eyebrow for sure
I think ‘The Lesson’ puts it into terms that are very relatable. The “can’t put my finger on it” feeling that comes up with seeing the cleaning set is most certainly wrapped up in the way that POC/WOC employment has more traditionally been in these types of jobs.
It’s not so much a matter of whether a job is respectable or not – in and of itself – but the socio-cultural associations that we have with these jobs due to being POC [and maybe not so far removed from the more negative associations].
Great post! And great link to the Bambara story.
Sadie wrote: “I think my question was more about…can we write about not wanting our kids to end up doing certain kinds of work without conveying disrespect through that writing?”
Ah. Got it. I think that even if we write intentionally to avoid disrespect (“I believe that housekeeping/cleaning is good, honest work, but because of my family’s historical experiences with domestic work, it is not a profession I would encourage my child to pursue.”)–someone could still feel disrespected.
But I think context matters. I think intent matters. I think knowing (or glimpsing) a person’s heart matters. I don’t think words are just words, just as I don’t believe toys are (always and everywhere) just toys.
If someone in that occupation told me that my words were disrespectful, it would open a dialogue (I hope). Always a good thing. But what I would not do is that non-apology “I’m sorry you feel offended/disrespected thing” (*vomit*).
Everyone,
So many interesting perspectives here. I thank you for sharing them. I’m writing an attempt at a synthesis follow-up post on the blog to try to explain where I’ve landed on this issue.
Forgive me for not replying to each of you individually. There are a couple of clarifying points that I want to make and a few direct replies.
Let me start by saying that I have no issue with my daughter having things with which she could clean the house, like a toy mop, vacuum, etc. We all have to clean our environment (even my lazy dear husband) and so there is no problem with toys that teach skills. And if they had crafted some kind of vacuum/trash can/mop cart that looked like something that belonged in the house, I’d be for that. But the cart as a mini-replica of the maid’s cart still jangles. Maybe it is simply that with my background, it is difficult for me to envision my daughter-of-color (did I just coin that term?) doing let’s pretend play as a maid or a janitor. I’ve got no issue with her doing lets pretend cleaning of the house with mommy, though.
Claudia: Though I had no time at work today, I took the time to read the Bambara story. I loved it. How appropriate. Thank you for sharing.
CJ’s Daddy: Now that I’m more able to understand what I’m reacting to with the cart, I can be clear that it isn’t about shame regarding my grandparents’ jobs, the possibility of being a hotel maid, or about seeing my daughter playing with the cart. Shame is not entering into the equation. My hope is that if and when my daughter gets old enough to be interested in such a cart, I’ll be able to express my feelings (or distract her with something else) in such a way that she won’t get the idea that I find anything shameful about what Grammy did. Grammy’s love and sacrifice was tremendous and we honor them by achieving as much as we can. That is the message that was passed to me and I will pass down to my daughter.
Thanks to everyone for the comments!
What bothers me about this toy perhaps the most is the degree of privilege that goes into purchasing something like this for your child. Wealthy, white parents buy this for their children so that they can *play* for a day at being a janitor and then go back to their privileged life and future without any explanation or understanding that some people in this country don’t have that privilege. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is privilege that allows someone to *pretend* to be a janitor for a day without having to understand that for some segments of the population working as a janitor, whether good or bad, is not something they ever had the luxury of being able to play at and then return to their life. At least, I that’s what bothered me about the toy. I hope what I am saying is making sense, I am a first time poster and don’t want to stick my foot in my mouth from the get go
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I wish I had a real cart like that to clean my house! LOL
Wow, there is a lot of irony with this isn’t there.
Keira’s thoughts are spot on! Although role playing is a wonderful and enjoyable form of imaginative play for children. A responsible parent imho would teach their children how to actually clean their own home and environment rather that purchasing this idol, almost mocking toy.
Sometimes I feel like parents purchase things like this because they want to distract their children from real participation and life experiences, it’s easier to buy a toy than spend quality time with them and teach them something.
While I understand the feelings many of you experience when you see this toy, I have a different perspective. It has only been 2 years since I cleaned my last hotel room, using a real cart just like the toy model.
I personally find absolutely nothing wrong with this toy. Housekeeping is valid work, some do it because they chose to, others because they have to.
The toy itself promotes many positive things, such as being appealing to little boys which helps remove gender classifications in job choice. It also good for skill building, and yes, even just for good old fashioned fun. What little child hasn’t asked to help when the adults are cleaning.
Outside of the all ads which feature all white children, which leads me to think bad thoughts about the company, what bothers me most is not the the toy itself, it is the people who look at it and place so much more on it than what it is (here is where I may get a good solid flaming). The things I have to say aren’t intended to imply anyone here is not a good parent. I simply want to lay out for everyone the steps I take to ensure my children know whats possible for them in the future.
1. As a parent I take full responsibility to teach my children respect for all work, regardless of what it is.
2. I take full responsibility to teach my children respect for all workers, be they janitors or CEO’s.
3. I take responsibility for teaching my children to give 100% no matter what they are doing, to never give up, to always strive for their dreams. I don’t leave it up to playthings to teach my children about work, work ethics, job options, or limitations.
4. I talk to my children, about their futures, about the jobs I and my family do or have done, and why I do or dont want them to take the same paths. The pro’s and cons of each job so to speak.
5. It is my opinion that if anyone is that concerned about any toy giving a child the idea that this may be all there is in their future, then that person needs to start communicating with the child and teach them the only limits are the ones we put on ourselves.
6. People who look at that cart and associate it with a race, gender, ethnicity ect ect ect really tick me off. Yes, there is a historic precedent, but history is to be learned from, so we can move into the future with awareness. We should learn that it was racism, sexism, immigration and poverty that led to the historical precedent and all of those things are despicable, vile. We need to work towards eliminating those barriers. We should not equate a toy with anyone, ever! I despise ignorance, and stereotyping and racism is just another form of ignorance.
7. As Kiera said so perfectly “parents buy this for their children so that they can *play* for a day at being a janitor and then go back to their life and future without any explanation or understanding that some people in this country don’t have that privilege”. Again, something that makes me angry.
Yet, knowing how the actual job is stereotyped, the workers classified, the pains it causes some, and having done this work myself, I would still (if given $150.00 to toss away) buy this toy. I think that overall, as a parent, I am capable of seeing it as a child would, as a source of fun and enjoyment. I also know that as a parent, it’s my job, not the toys to teach my children that there is no limit to what they can do.
One last things, I have to agree wholeheartedly with CJ’s Daddy when he said “avoiding the maid’s cart only enhances the negative aspects of that structure.”.
100% true in my opinion. What better way to enforce in a childs mind that housekeeping is too lowly, or only for a certain type of people than to avoid it.
Particularly true if the child has seen it and wants it or asks for it.
Ex-Cleaning Lady: I would never flame you. I respect people’s rights to feel as they do and raise their children as they see fit.
I don’t see the cart through your lens and you don’t see it through mine (or my family’s) and that is perfectly fine as we have a diversity of opinion in this world. I would ask that you not judge my position through your framework, however, since that is not very fair and it almost presupposes that your position is the more valid one. Your position *is* the more valid one for *your family* and mine *is* the more valid one for *mine*.
If you’d care to visit my blog and read my follow up post, please feel free to do so. Again my position is explained in relation to my family and my daughter. I could not presume to speak for everyone, since that would be the ultimate in hubris.
Thanks for your comments!
Liana,
I appreciate your response. I have actually been a “lurker” reading posts here for awhile now. I enjoy the site overall and find it it often insightful and opens up some wonderful dialogues.
I did not mean to sound as if I was dismissing your views, or giving them less credence. I can see by re-reading some of what I said it would appear that way though, and for that you do have my sincere apology.
I am not sure how to clarify what I was trying to say, I wasn’t referring the posters who share your views when I spoke about how people see the toy in question. I was trying, rather poorly, to refer to people who stereotype others based on race and associate specific skills and job sets to entire ethnic groups and therefore would shun the toy because of their own racism. Does that make any sense at all?
“it was racism, sexism, immigration and poverty that led to the historical precedent and all of those things are despicable, vile.”
When I said “We should not equate a toy with anyone, ever” I was trying to say we shouldnt look at something and classify it based on a preconceived idea or sterotyping of any class, race or gender. As in, a people shouldnt look at that and shun it as not suitable for their children because only poor [insert any ethnic group here] do that kind of work.
I wanted to present how I deal with, and what I think of those people who would classify entire groups of people, skill sets, and ultimately even a toy, based on hatred and intolerance.
That would not include yourself, because your view isn’t based on hatred, intolerance or ignorance. Your view is based on very personal experiences of yourself and your family. I was not trying to shrug off your familial experiences in any way, nor invalidate your concerns and views.
As a lurker on the site I am really am very sorry that my first foray into posting came out so badly. I see that I did not make my points as clearly as I thought I did at 2:00am. Again my apologies for my lack of clarity and any disturbance I may have caused you.
Ex-Cleaning Lady: Oh my goodness! No apologies necessary!
I do appreciate the clarification because it does explicate your point much better and I agree. But even if we hadn’t agreed, my general ethos with such discussions is that I enjoy the exchange no matter what.
I hope you will visit my blog (click on the link in my name) to read my follow up post.
Wow! When did shopping at Target become elitist? I guess I must have missed something here too? You are part of the “elite” for buying stuff at Target? I bought all of my college dorm room supplies at Target when I was 18….and now I’m 34. It is just a store like so many others we have in this country.
I know people and actually was engaged to a Eastern European man who NEVER would shop at Target or Walmart either for that matter. He felt they were both low-class and quality stores. He is not an Ivy league grad, but yes definitely wealthy via his family business. He was disgusted by BOTH stores. His preferred stores are Macys – previously Marshall Field’s here in Chicago, Nordstrom, and Bed Bath & Beyond for house ware items.
He and I were different though because I am someone who will shop all over the place for the things that I want and like.
What is it with judging people by where they shop? My boss is an orthodontist and her husband is a dentist and they shop all over the place too…even The Family Dollar Store where they will buy their daughter coloring books, markers, and toys as well.
Now it appears that some Target shoppers think they are actually “better” than Walmart shoppers. This is crazy to me because both stores carry pretty much the same merchandise. I know this because Marshall Field’s – now Macys is owned by the same company as Target.
I am just very grateful that I was raised up to judge people not by the things they have, where they shop, how much money they make, but instead how they treat others and carry themselves.
Finally, I prefer homemade things so I guess that must make me trash to some people too. Making things homemade is what people did before there was any such thing as Target or Walmart.
I know this is off the subject off the original post but Wal – Mart discontinued lay away in order to be more like Target. They wanted to attract those people who do shop at Target but not at Wal Mart because Wal mart does cater to those looking for the lowest costs. They wanted also to attract the “Target shoppers” in part also because they felt these people have more money to spend. This is not what was told to the general public but was discussed with their regional managers. Both my best friend and her father are regional managers, I trust them not to lie when they explained this to me. Even they were shocked by the reasons given to them. Additionally the tactics Wal Mart uses with their supplies is disgusting. I worked for nearly 3 yrs for a company that provides services to Wal Mart, so I can say if you only knew how nasty they really are at a coporate level you might look at the chain differently. They are very “low class” on a corporate level. Frankly I dislike both stores.
While I agree a toy is not always a toy, like the nurse v doctors set, but I do not see it in this case.
My son has just stopped wanting to be a zoo janitor (because they get to talk to people and see the animals all the time) and not even the prospect of cleaning elephant poo put him off! Now he wants to be an air steward giving the safety speeech because he was enthralled by them on holiday.
Given that the majority of kids only see these carts on holiday I can imagine their appeal. They see these people as part of the magic of hotels, I know my son thought it was a cool job because they get to put the candy on the pillow.
Of course your entitled to your view and I can see where your coming from but I also think its important to be careful that we dont read too much into their games of lets pretend. My main problem with this item is that buying something so bulky and expensive might imply that we thought this imagined role was more important than the rest. I far prefer getting him things that can be used for multiple games. Any role he takes on is fine by me so long as he neither avoids or takes on one because he thinks it is what he *should* do as a mixed race Arab boy. I guess what Im trying to say is so long as we talk with them and ask why they want to do/be that then almost anything goes for pretend occupations.