Crossposted from What Tami Said
It’s not so clear in today’s allegedly post-racial landscape. Lately, too many real attempts to discuss racial injustice are met with gnashing of teeth, rending of garments and exasperated cries of “political correctness” and “race card.” This is the modern way to shut down discussion about race in America. And with the country inaugurating its first black president next week? Ya’ll it’s only going to get worse.
It is galling—this playing the “playing the race card” card. And reading Kevin Young’s poem, “No Offense,” has helped me understand why this particular bit of mainstream insensitivity hurts me so. Don’t they know? Don’t they know how often we swallow our offense? How many times we remain silent on the playground in the face of some “what do you get when you cross a black person with…” joke or a sing-song “ching-chong” chant? How many times we shut up when a trusted friend of another race reveals a hurtful bias? How many times we cringe after finding out a lover wasn’t chasing us, but an exotic adventure? How often we keep going in a job we love even as the glass ceiling presses on our heads? How often we remain calm while being hassled by police for being black or Hispanic in the “wrong” neighborhood? There is so much injustice people of color abide quietly that to treat real spoken concerns with eye-rolling mockery, to paint us as petty and thin-skinned, is like a dagger to the heart. I’m just saying, it’s real hard to be thin-skinned and a person of color in America.
Are all charges of racism justified? Of course not. But those who pretend that a handful of race-baiters are more a detriment to society than actual racism are like those who focus on rare cases of false rape accusations rather than the fact that 17.7 million American women have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. They are looking to salve their egos and avoid a difficult conversation that may reveal something ugly inside.
During the 2008 presidential election, I was surprised to hear some unexpected people talking about political correctness and the race card—progressives…feminists…But there are reasons that even good liberals are quick to dismiss racism and play the “playing the race card” card:
Americans don’t understand racism anymore (if they ever did). We’re not talking dogs and hoses and separate water fountains anymore. Today’s injustice is usually more about unexamined biases (executions on BART platforms aside). It is covert and institutional. There always was a “silent” aspect of racism, separate from the lurid images broadcast nationwide during the civil rights movement. A lot of that racism still exists even though black folks can sit in the front of the bus now, but it is a racism that is hard to explain to someone who does not experience it.
How to explain the whole history of black women and their hair to the uninitiated so that they understand why picturing an afro’d and militant Michelle Obama on the cover of the New Yorker is offensive? Most white folks don’t even know that the straight styles most African American women wear are an attempt at assimilation—the result of much manipulation. They’ve never tried to get a job in the banking industry while wearing locs or twists or a curly fro. They don’t know how damaging it is to reinforce the natural-haired black woman = angry, militant, troublesome black woman.
Our image of a person who holds prejudiced beliefs is cartoonish. If racism to most Americans is synonymous with bombings in Birmingham, then the image of a typical “racist” is a cross between Bull Connor, David Duke and Snidely Whiplash. In reality, prejudice in general is boringly human and racial prejudice is a byproduct of being an American. Sadly, even people of color in this society are biased against people of color. But our society wants to believe that prejudice is rare and that persons that harbor racial prejudice are one-dimensional villains. It is no wonder that merely suggesting someone’s views might be racist results in unproductive defensiveness. Tell a liberal who may have black friends and neighbors, that he holds a belief that is racist and to his ear you are comparing him to society’s villains–the skinhead, the neo-Nazi.
It’s hard to examine personal prejudices. It’s much easier to brand African Americans whiny and entitled than to admit that, after all this time, the idea of whiteness and white culture as normal and right and supreme persists in our “egalitarian” society.
And even if mainstream America “gets it,” maybe they just don’t care. A recent article in The Globe and Mail reveals people may not be as concerned about racism as they claim.
You are sitting in a waiting room when someone makes a racist comment about a black man who has just left. How would you respond?
Most people say they would feel upset and take action, but researchers at York University who put student volunteers in a similar situation found many reacted with indifference, even when the slur was as offensive as “clumsy nigger.”
Many of the students reported feeling little emotional distress after hearing a white man say something denigrating about a black man who had bumped him on his way out of the room. Minutes later, they were asked to choose a partner for a word comprehension test. The majority – 63 per cent – chose the racist white guy.
The results help explain why racism persists in our politically correct age, says York University psychologist Kerry Kawakami, the lead author of a paper published in today’s edition of the journal Science.
People imagine they would be angry and punish a racist, she says, but in reality their response is far more muted. “When you actually put them in a situation in which they see an overtly racist act, they are not upset, generally, and they don’t censure the racist. They don’t respond negatively to them at all.” Read more…
So, what’s the answer? How do we take the movement for racial equality forward as it gets harder to win the hearts and minds of mainstream Americans? How do we point out racial injustice in the face of the finger-pointing and cries of “race card?” Two thoughts come immediately to mind (I want to hear some solutions from you readers.):
Maybe our language needs to change. Does the word “racism” (and its derivatives) help or hurt the modern anti-racism movement? At first, the question seems crazy. But I’m beginning to wonder if those of us who wish to see increased racial equality don’t need to find a more effective way to talk about inequality. If “racism” and “racist” are so loaded that their mention ends reasoned conversation resulting in action, then maybe their continued use hurts us. Perhaps we need to be more nuanced, making distinctions between “racial biases,” “prejudice” and “racism.”
Allies rush in where angels fear to tread. White anti-racist allies sometimes express a hesitancy to talk about some racial issues because they are afraid to “get it wrong.” There is a fear, I think, that something well meaning could be misconstrued, or worse, reveal a hidden prejudice. I implore you to talk about it anyway. Talk about race and be open about your feelings. Being challenged about your prejudices—if you are challenged–is not the worst thing that can happen. And yeah, I know, easier said than done. It’s especially easy for me to say. I’m a black woman who is not likely to ever know what it feels like to be called a racist. But the reality is that unless we can have discussions about race that are equally frank on both sides, we’ll get nowhere.
What else? How do we talk about racism effectively in allegedly post-racial America?
Great post!
Re choice of language/use of the words “racism” and “racist”: Great question.
On one hand, I usually lean towards calling a spade a spade and that to euphemise (or to allow the perception of euphemism)* only increases the “political-correctness gone amok” response. It’s a defensive response but one that may stem from the uninformed being geniunely confused by nuances and feeling patronised. There are just so many words for attitudes and behaviour that are harmful or hurtful to people of colour. Not even “experts” are consistent in how to use the terms.
I also think that to euphemise allows the transgressor to minimise the significance of, or escape responsibility for, or to rationalise his/her behaviour.
*I don’t want to suggest that careful, denotative, nuanced, and correct use of language is bad per se, just that such use of language can be unproductive if it is perceived as euphemistic or if the listener is not fluent in the language of such discourse.
On the other hand, the word “racism” or “racist” can end a reasonable conversation or turn it counter-productive in a hurry. It might be pragmatic to avoid the “racism” roadblock.
This topic reminds me of power of the words “feminism” and “feminist”. It drives me nuts that so many people have convinced themselves that that feminism’s work is done (like the civil rights movement’s work is supposedly done) and blind themselves to the remaining institutional and attitudinal sexism/misogyny/racism in our modern lives. But, whereas I find racism-denial much more prevalent among white people than people of colour, I find sexism-denial equally prevalent among men and women, perhaps even more prevalent among women.
Women of colour claiming asylum from rape in the UK face systematic racism and sexism in the judicial system.
Black Women’s Rape Action Project is asking individuals and organisations around the world to sign our online Asylum from Rape Petition [www.petitiononline.com/afrsep08/petition.html] demanding the official recognition of rape as torture and persecution.
As a Back family enters the White House, and women and children in Gaza are being slaughtered, people in anti-racist movements everywhere are giving our struggles a global platform.
We are demanding the official recognition of rape as torture and persecution.
Since its launch in 2006 many thousands of people have signed. Research shows that over 50% of women seeking asylum in the UK are rape survivors. Yet women are routinely denied legal representation, treated with disbelief and even hostility, subject to immigration “swoops” and dawn raids and imprisonment – contrary to British government guidelines.
Women in Britain are spearheading the movement for asylum rights and exposing the hidden atrocities in the asylum process and the sexism and racism that many face. This self-help activity has encouraged opposition from many quarters, including high level protests against the detention of children and vulnerable people.
Our petition is one way of informing everyone about who seeks asylum and safety and why, and a tool to demand change which we hope you will support by signing as soon as possible.
I need more posts like this since since my head understands what I have been reading here for months, but I have a hard time conversing with others…my husband included.
Most white people I know have NO true understanding of what people of color deal with and certainly don’t know how to talk about what they are aware of.
This is one of the best posts I have read here, but I do need many more like it.
How to respond to, “Well, that black family is practically white” would be a fabulous start.
Great post. I struggle most with my personality. Not only do I not speak up in regards to racial issues, frankly, I don’t speak up to defend myself on typically any issues, even though I might get very angry internally and let off steam about it to my close friends. In hindsight, I have started to wonder if by remaining silent, that the silence could be taken as an agreement with the statement which angers me even more.
Thank you, thank you. I was trying to get exactly these points across on Saturday while leading a training session on transracial adoption, but you’ve put it much more clearly than I have. The word ‘racism’ makes so many white people think of lynchings and Jim Crow. If you’re going to call the people in my white circle of friends racist, you have to lead them there gently. If you have the time to do that, then call them racist, otherwise find a word that won’t cause them to immediately disconnect themselves from the discussion, thinking, “I’m not racist.”
Also, in response to “I’m a black woman who is not likely to ever know what it feels like to be called a racist,” let me just say that I know people who would call you a racist (or a “reverse racist”) for some of the things you say. Admittedly, most of them would have the tact not to say it to your face.
Keep up the good work.
I can’t remember where I read this, but someone once pointed out that while it’s easy to accuse someone of “playing the race card”, we rarely talk about who dealt the race card to begin with.
I have gotten into the argument about language many, many times, and while my thoughts on this are still evolving, my current feeling is that it is necessary to use words like “racism” to convey the harsh reality that people of color face. I’ve been in workshops and discussion groups where white people absolutely refuse to do any work as long as the word “racism” (or “privilege”, that’s another big one) is used. My thought is that being able to stall a process because you don’t like a particular word is a manifestation of privilege, and yielding to that is reinforcing the idea that white people are to be catered to. It’s a fine line between compromising to possibly reach more people, and perpetuating a system that you’re ultimately trying to destroy. I’ve also worked with many people (including my husband) who get stuck on the terms but eventually, if they keep listening, come to understand why we need to use them. I do agree that calling someone a racist isn’t productive, but I think referring to “institutional racism” and “racist practices” is accurate and necessary.
“I’m just saying, it’s real hard to be thin-skinned and a person of color in America.”
I couldn’t agree more. It is only by drawing upon the strength of my friends and allies that I can even survive. For the zillionth time, I thank you for Anti-Racist Parent and this community in which I feel so supported.
Tami – thanks for this thoughtful post! I have developed a true loathing for the term ‘playing the race card.’ I’ve never heard anyone say it in a way that wasn’t dismissive.
Regarding the terminology of ‘racism’, etc., I find that the term ‘racist’ is almost always a deal-breaker if you are attempting to address someone’s behavior. Because it condemns the person instead of condemning the behavior.
Anything involving the root word ‘race’ is potentially inflammatory, and will likely shut most people down if they feel accused.
I don’t think there should be any kind of moratorium on the words themselves, but I think people should tread *ever* so carefully when using them.
One of my greatest frustrations is when people insist on harshly “calling out” racists with fervor and attitude with language that is guaranteed to upset someone so much that they will be too distracted to address and change their behavior. It may be satisfying, but it is hardly ever productive.
This is the constant dilemma – do you react emotionally for your own sake, or do you try to change hearts and minds for everyone’s sake?
Never simple.
This is a great post. It’s given me a lot to think about. As far as changing our language – not so much in terms of language, I think that the consistently used phrase “white allies” is something that we need to stop using.
I was at an anti-racist speaker training this weekend, and it was pointed out to me that that the phrase, “white ally” implies that racism is a problem for people of color that white people are assisting with. As a white person, I need to recognize that RACISM IS A WHITE PROBLEM and I cannot be an ally in the fight against my own people’s problem. I must be a leader. I think this is an important distinction to make, to ensure that white people take the full-responsibility for this problem.
As for the term “racist” and “racism,” I don’t think we need to use different language. You’re right that those words are uncomfortable and loaded, but they should be, because they are describing something that robs human beings of their dignity and freedom in the world. I see no reason that the world has to cater to us (white people) anymore than it already has – in order to fix a problem that we have created in the first place.
Call someone a racist and you shut the conversation down immediately. Most decent people know how terrible racism and prejudice is. They don’t want to be associated with it. Telling someone he is a racist is basically saying, “You are a terrible person who doesn’t belong in polite society.” If you want someone to listen to your concerns, yeah, you need to NOT use that word when alluding to an individual. It comes across better when you talk in terms of society, of institutions, of centuries of culture, of unconscious behavior, of things people don’t do intentionally or don’t know is hurtful. Most of the time it ISN’T intentional.
I don’t think most people intend to say or do things that hurts other people and I think sometimes looks or actions ARE misinterpreted as racist by people. When I’m followed around in the store by an overofficious clerk who asks me every two minutes, “Can I help you find anything?” I don’t automatically assume she thinks I’m about to steal something. I think she’s been told by management to be friendly and wants desperately to sell something and she is annoying me. I’m white. That same behavior on her part with someone who is black or American Indian might well make that person leave in a huff, thinking “How dare she assume I’m going to shoplift something? See if I ever spend my hard earned money here again!”
You say there are things that blacks overlook and don’t speak up about. There are also things that some whites won’t talk to blacks about openly because they don’t want to be accused of being racist.
You got it right, yet again, Tami. This is fantastic! This conversation has been coming up (or not) all too often in my circle these days. It’s been incredibly frustrating, and your post came at a really good time.
You’re so right about people who think they aren’t racist because they believe “racist ONLY equals lynching”. They refuse to accept that their actions and/or inactions are also racism.
In a few meetings I’ve been in, people have been pulling the whole reclaiming-words deal — white people have been, at least, very interesting, to say the least — and it’s been insanely frustrating to sit and listen to their rationalizations of how they are not ignorant.
Again, brilliant, Tami. Thanks for this!
Thank you for writing this. I was soooo frustrated today reading a post on a Guatemalan adoption board. The majority of the people thought it was the worst thing in the world to suggest that something could be racist and that it was a sin to be PC.
We all have heard the word “black” to describe somebody suspicious as if that one word should tell us that this was a bad person. I know I cannot be the only white person that this has happened many many times to.
Bex, I hear your point about the term “white ally”, and I know people who object to it for the same reason. I personally don’t mind it, because to me the word “ally” doesn’t imply being a subordinate, but I can see how it could be viewed that way. One alternative I have heard that you might like is “white agents of change”. I think one reason it all sounds a little weird is because we’re not used to hearing “white” in front of anything, which maybe is part of the point.
And on the subject of language, may I just comment how impressed I am when any white person uses the terms “we” or “us” in the context of racism? I’m so used to people separating themselves from “those racists” and failing to recognize group responsibility. For people of color—at least this one—who have spent their whole lives having to represent everyone else of the same race, it definitely helps level the playing field.
I was just in a conversation about your first suggestion; my view was that there is a huge difference between calling a person “a racist”, and pointing out the racism or privilege in what they say or do or belief. The latter might bring up defensiveness, but the former is guaranteed to — and of course it is, because in the general mind, “a racist” is a really horrible, probably violent person.
The second suggestion is one that highly resonates with me. Too often I have not said a thing because I didn’t know what to say, or thought someone else would say it better. I have been so afraid of being thought of as a “sanctimonious politically correct know it all liberal” (not so much by the people I’m trying to oppose, but by the people I’m trying to help), of speaking without knowing, that I have allowed myself to be silent. I will take your suggestion to heart, and hopefully have it help me muster courage the next time I need it.
Tami,
I have nothing more thoughtful or insightful to say then “thank you”. This is a brilliantly written piece on an issue that has dogged me. I wish I could get your essay to fit on a wallet card, so I can whip it out when I need it.
I’m an adoptive parent, and I like Thom’s suggestion of adding this to transracial parenting training, especially as a part of pre-adoptive counseling.
What a fabulous post, Tami! I think I am addicted to your writing and always come away enlightened and better prepared. I am amazed at how many individuals are truly unaware of the subtle racism that continues to exist in every day life for POC. When I share my experiences (either mine, personally or my children’s nightmares – at the preschool and elementary school levels), I frequently find jaws open and shaking of heads. They’re “unaware” and unprepared to deal with it. It seems that in the south, race is two colors: either you’re black or you’re not. They have 1,001 justifications for behavior and attitudes. It is, after all, how the confederate flag is justified and flown proudly.
I have to admit that I, too, have walked away from more than one opportunity to confront racism. The most recent one happened at Disney World where a small child was pulling her eyelids (similar to the Spanish basketball team at the Olympics) as her mother took her picture in front of the Japanese Pagoda at Epcot’s Japan Pavilion. I stood, watching her, in disbelief, feeling my blood pressure rise and my husband kept pushing the stroller so our children would not see. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach, but I did not have the courage to say a word. I walked out of the park that night, feeling like I had let down our kids and myself! It’s only by raising our voices that we can ever expect to see *real* change and I was mute that day. What I have learned from it is that I can talk about our family’s experience forever as I sit comfortably at parties and homes, but until I’m ready to stand up to/for a perfect stranger, I am doing nothing and therefore contributing to the rhetoric. To talk about race effectively, we must be willing to stand up and make others uncomfortable if that is what it takes. Let the “race card” door be thrown in our face – eventually our words have to stick. We may not change them, but we’ll never know how far our voice may go until we try.
This post is timely, coming just as I am thinking about this very subject myself. I agree with many of the comments about not putting a moratorium on the words “racist” and “racism”. I also agree that using other words can come across as pedantic.
However, I feel that “racism” is too associated with “individual racism”, and I feel that other words, while running the risk of appearing pedantic, would help to educate people more. IMO, education is the only way to go.
(Concerning “feminism”, I admit that as a child of the 70s, I have an aversion to the word, preferring to call myself an egalitarian. I do not however shy away from “sexism”.)
In many ways, if I ruled the world, I’d use “otherism”, because anti-racism goes hand in hand with all forms of anti-discrimination.
I wonder what people think of the word xenophobia as a complement to prejudice, bias, etc… as an alternative to “racism”.
I do think that a lot of racist behaviour really does stem from the fear of the unknown, especially a fear of foreign people.
I can’t decide whether the fear (in the individual) is irrational considering how brain-washed we are. Is it irrational to carry the biases, prejudices, and fears that society has trained into us?
Are all charges of racism justified? Of course not. But those who pretend that a handful of race-baiters are more a detriment to society than actual racism are like those who focus on rare cases of false rape accusations rather than the fact that 17.7 million American women have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. They are looking to salve their egos and avoid a difficult conversation that may reveal something ugly inside.
I’m not sure that’s entirely fair to the complaint, at least among the most thoughtful who make it. I see the sane version of this complaint not as saying that false racism charges are worse than racism (and surely not that true racism charges are worse than racism). I think the idea is that racism charges can beeasily wrong and based on a misunderstanding, just as ignorant racial comments can be wrong and rely on false assumptions from the other direction.
The claim, then, is not that these false attributions of racism are worse than racism but that they further it by drawing attention to mistaken racist charges and distracting from real racism, while harming the racist charge by leading people to be dismissive of racism charges for “boy who cried wolf” reasons. So I’ve always argued that racism charges really ought to take into account possible explanations that don’t involve racism in order to be sure that it doesn’t lead to a dismissal of future racism charges.
The very question reveals a continuing concern about the feelings of those who would demonstrate racial prejudice and insensitivity over the feelings of those who are targets of such bias. Allow people to be responsible for their own feelings: defensiveness, offense, hurt, whatever. Too much energy is spent on soothing the feelings of people who will not confront their own racism.
PureGraceful Tree – Thank you for the suggestion. I am going to think about it for a while. “White agent of change,” just seems so long – but it definitely doesn’t imply the ‘helping’ aspect that ally does, and so maybe that would be a better thing for us to call ourselves. I usually refer to myself as a “white anti-racist” – but that gets all bungled up too, because of the “racist,” thing that everyone is talking about here.
So, as a white person – when I talk about this with other people, I try and point out that I am a racist. I know that this can be shocking to people (as you’re saying) because the response I often get is “no you’re not,” “don’t be so hard on yourself,” etc. The white people who say this back to me do not understand what racism is, nor what our part is in it. I am a racist because I am part of the group that holds the power in our racist society. I can work to change this, but I am not going to stop being a racist until whites stop holding all of the power/privilege.
When talking about racism with other white people, I try and clarify the difference between being a “racist” and being a “bigot.” These words have two very different meanings for me. (Maybe I am way off base with this).
For example, at the Thanksgiving table this year, my SIL started up a conversation about how her grandfather, who uses the “N-word,” is not a racist because he’s a really nice guy that honestly cares about people and he’s just too old to know any better. Now, to me, this guy is a bigot AND a racist, and that’s what we discussed at the table (as everyone slowly trickled away from their food except for the two of us) – though she wasn’t open to the use of either of those words for him.
What I am most interested in here is, who is being bothered by the word, “racist?” Who is ending the conversation? I don’t think the answer to these questions is going to be: people of color. I think the answer is going to be that we (whites) are. Because we get uncomfortable and “can’t deal with it.”
Well, we owe some reparations big time. And part of that is to get out of our own egos and LISTEN to what people of color are saying. It doesn’t matter what words POC are using if we aren’t listening in the first place. It doesn’t matter what words POC are using, because we will find the conversation offensive, because what we did, and continue to do, IS offensive. That’s on us.
I don’t think that the language needs to be changed – I think that the intention needs to be changed on our (whites) part. This is not about babying us as we walk through the fields of destruction that we have caused. This is about the truth, and it doesn’t matter what words we use to point to it. It’s going to hurt, and we (whites) need to sit down and hear it and feel it because everyone who is not white has been hearing and feeling it for a helluva long time.
What I am most interested in here is, who is being bothered by the word, “racist?” Who is ending the conversation? I don’t think the answer to these questions is going to be: people of color.
You hit the nail on the head, Bex. As I said in comment #6, falling all over ourselves to make the movement more acceptable to white people is again buying into the system of racial privilege that we are trying to dismantle. My feeling is that those who would stall a process because of a particular word aren’t really ready to do the work anyway and it’s not worth catering to them.
I do a lot of anti-racism work within my church, and sometimes people get caught up in the idea that this stuff “makes people uncomfortable” and “people just won’t listen if you use that r-word”. I usually say, “Which people?” The answer is almost always white people…which proves my point exactly.
You wrote “the idea of whiteness and white culture as normal and right and supreme persists in our ‘egalitarian’ society” and that mirrors my opinion: I see racism as one aspect of supremacy, as a goal of one set of people. Whether ANY people identify their set by skin colour or some other indicator, if their goal is to be supreme among peoples, their policies must be ‘racist’ in order to work. Alternatively, we can all be egalitarian in our outlook – aiming for common, ubiquitous access to the benefits of human achievement for all – rather than for any select few. In America though, that get’s labelled “socialist = communist = bad”. I think US social vocabulary needs a globalised update. Congratulations to the USA!
I think this article, and the comments, really nails the tension between wanting to speak the truth (racism exists, white people in the US are racist, etc.) and wanting to be heard.
This is one of the cases where I think white folks NEED to be active. As a white woman I can speak from my own experience without labeling or distancing from other white people. I can say things like “when I act like that it’s because I was taught to be a racist” or “it’s been a really hard process to accept that I’m racist”. We can model our own experience in a way that people of color can’t. The message comes across as “I think WE’re racist” instead of me vs. you. And ultimately if you’re relating your own experience no one can argue with you or get that angry.
In terms of softening language, certainly I think this can be useful, but let’s not lose sight of what we’re doing. Many white people will write off the conversation if you use “the R word” and it can be more effective to talk about prejudice. Let’s just not forget that we’re babying thin-skinned white folks. One way to speak truth without angering people is to speak from experience – “it really sucks for me when…” instead of labelling “you’re a racist because…”
This is obviously my experience, and I don’t know the answer for POC that want to name racism. I won’t begrudge anyone who feels the need to name what’s going on and speak your truth. I also know from my own experience as a clueless white person that it’s easy to block out “you’re a racist”. I think I heard that message best when it was from closer friends of color or other white people.
@ Schmidt “We can model our own experience in a way that people of color can’t.” is true because the collective effort of generations of whites has been for the benefit of their exclusive socio-economic supremacy. Part of that effort has been the manipulative use of language – “Many white people will write off the conversation if you use ‘the R word’ and it can be more effective to talk about prejudice.” – Are we now to take your advice on how to persuade you that you are biased against us?
I think the biggest problem is using the wrong words, or changing the meaning of the word for whatever reason. There are three definitions of racism. 2 have to do with the individual and hatred or disdain for another race or belief that another race is superior. The third definition has to do with societal power structure.
Using the word racism to explain or describe prejudices, biases, bigotries or even xenophobia that people hold does nothing to further the conversation.
If someone mentions a stereotype belief and you call them a racist they have no reason to actually listen to you because what you have said is obviously not true based on the dictionary definition so why would anything else you say be true. But if you use the correct terms and call it a stereotype and point out how that is JUST as detrimental it opens up a much deeper conversation that they would more likely be willing to listen to.
Another tool I use is to talk about how racism is working in a particular statement. For example, even if people have never heard the word normalizing before, they can understand when I say that something “normalizes whiteness.” And often I think that naming whiteness and white privilege is essential to talking about racism with white people. From there I can go to a discussion of racism, but it´s a place I find useful to starting the conversation.
Some conversations NEED to be ended. If calling someone out on their racism helps, that is useful. I know that I have avoided a lot of comments and jokes by calling people out. Which doesn’t mean they don’t happen, but not in front of me. Sometimes the peace of not having to listen to that crap is worth it. Even though I know that no change is going on, every battle against racism can’t be fought (it is too pervasive).
What I usually do (did when I was in America), was say “I find that comment offensive”. That might also end the conversation, or it might lead people to try to explain to me why I am wrong. I persist in saying I find it offensive, and people often argue with me, but eventually “get that it may be”, even if they are not really willing to understand.
As a potential agent of change, I needed to move beyond the language and address the ideas. Calling someone a racist merely ends the conversation (as does anything that is percieved as “name calling” (although in this case, the word is more descriptive, it is considered by the recipient as “name calling”, and instead of receiving it as information that can be used, they immediately put up walls and start pouring boiling oil over them)).
This was a great post, it brings up a lot of issues, including whether it is possible to separate the systemic racism in society from the individual, and which creates the other. (too simplistically put, sigh).
I once responded to a particular joke by telling one of my own “what kind of white man tells offensive jokes about black folk”? You might be able to guess at my answer (I am white which makes it more effective.)
I also sometimes say “I don’t get it”, “I don’t understand why that is funny.” Which often leads to awkward explanations while I continue to wonder why such jokes are considered funny. Sometimes, someone else will speak up and say they don’t think it’s funny either.
I certainly think it is worthwhile creating a space in which POC don’t have to listen to racist nonsense all of the time. (And me too!) Perhaps once that space is created, it will be possible to find a way to address the deeper issues such as on-going and continuing prejudice.
(Interestingly enough, a lot of my Chinese students didn’t get it when I talked about prejudice in America until Katrina. I think that opened up a lot eyes because it was so blatant and so huge, it could not be blamed on just a few people.)
(It is also worth noting that when I talk to Chinese folks, they often express negative attitudes about POC (where did they learn these, since there are not so many black folks in China?? Hollywood!!!! American TV!!!) But the attitudes are merely repetitions of what they have heard, not deep feelings (at least I hope so)).
I never use any terms to describe myself (“Patrick”), let other people find their own terms. I just let it be known that I don’t like comments that belittle other people for any reason. Most of my jokes are about myself.
(Okay, I do say “fat old white guy” sometimes, but, heck, anyone can look at me and figure that out!!) (LOL).
Tami, thanks again for hosting this conversation!!!
(It is also worth noting that when I talk to Chinese folks, they often express negative attitudes about POC (where did they learn these, since there are not so many black folks in China?? Hollywood!!!! American TV!!!) But the attitudes are merely repetitions of what they have heard, not deep feelings (at least I hope so)).
Racism is not just an American problem and some of these statements above are such broad generalizations about white people (and all Americans) that it is almost racist in itself.
Liz and Patrick, those are some great suggestions.
(recognising whiteness/priviledge, “I find that offensive,” “Why is that funny?”) I also appreciate Patrick’s points about name-calling.
Susan – I’m just wondering which statements about white people are broad generalizations? As a white person, I haven’t felt like that here, but I’d like to discuss it if you have. I didn’t know that white people could experience racism. What do you mean by that?
In response to post #3, but also addressing the basic issue of how to address racism, questions work well. If someone tells a racist joke, play dumb. Ask them to explain it to you. It will put them in the uncomfortable position of having to explain a stereotype or racist assumption: they will have to put it into words. Most people will feel uncomfortable when they have to put their prejudice into words. It can be very disarming.
If they are able to put it into words, you can then challenge their assumptions.
Example:
John: That black family is practically white.
You: (Confused look, pause.) What do you mean by that?
John: You know…
You: What?
John: Well… they…
You: (remaining silent, waiting)
John: They just seem so… you know, they think they’re so…
You: No, I don’t know what you mean.
John: Well, they just seem to think they’re so… all that.
You: What do you mean? Do white people think they’re all that?
John: No, but when black, I mean, African-American, or whatever they want to be called these days… when they, you know, talk white…
You: What is talking white?
John: Well… educated.
You: So black people can’t be educated?
John: Oh, no, but…
Anyway, you get the idea. Of course it doesn’t always work this way… but it’s a gentler way of confronting racist attitudes and ideas.
And on that front, check out Jay Smooth at Ill Doctrine addressing this issue of calling someone a racist and how that’s a surefire way to end all dialogue.
http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008/07/
Thanks for the post. Stumbled across it after a Google search and thought I’d add my 2p.
Calling somebody a racist doesn’t hurt somebody who actually is a racist, but to those who consider themselves anti-racist it is a real body-blow. In most cases, inflaming somebody’s emotions like this isn’t helpful.
Further, blaming racism on “white society” is unhelpful, because most white people reject this concept as meaningless. Consider your audience — is (s)he likely to self-identify as white? Probably not if they’re, say, reading an anti-racist blog.
Instead, the most effective way of getting your point across would be to say that society — simply society at large — is rife with racial prejudice. This effectively says: “This is *our* problem; *everybody’s* problem.” And it suggests: “Together, we can solve it.” And that’s what I think the vast majority of people are looking for: things that bring us together, not drive a wedge between us.
Finally, I’d like to stick up for the term “white ally”. It suggests nothing but equality in my eyes, and, again, implies a togetherness. I would be honoured to be described as such.
It’s a shame that we’re not brave enough to put our flaws out in front of everyone so we can work on them. Is racism too much of a taboo to talk about that we’re afraid to face it within ourselves?
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I am new to this website and am really trying to examine myself after reading some of the posts here. I am a white female, and no I don’t get what it is to be a minority in America. In fact I am afraid to type the wrong thing because I am afraid that I would be considered a racist if it was wrong. Know that I am taking what is said to heart…and I plan to push the envelope by starting a conversation with my friends on how they feel about racism and how their friends feel.
My father was absolutely racist, and I cringe when some of the statements he made come back to me..and phrases he used sometimes still pop into my mind without thinking, although I am able to stop before it is said.
I am a flawed individual….
Recently, I found myself in a conversation with a white male, and at some point I was being called being ignorant. As I recall, this type of comments occured far too easily, uttered from those mouths of usually not very informed people, ans unfortunately, from my immigrant experiences since childhood, they coincided with white people.
This is precisely of those types of invisible racist behaviours that this post and many writers here are discussing, which make this matter of racism is still so much more systemic, and prevalent. I believe at the core of the matter lies the innate discomfort and fear of loosing privileges and power.
As we know today, our world is facing many challenges, natural and hu-man made, we each have to do our work, owning up to our responsibilities. White people ought to do their work, take responsibilities, and not to depend upon people of colour to spoon feed them as to why ‘they are bad’. People of colours are not nurse maids nor surrogate parents to uninformed white people, neither can they absolve their guilty feelings. We have our own burden to carry, ie. making sure we can be still loving and caring people, effecting positive changes in our societies, despite all these insanities that they are continuously subjected to.
P.S. I am a mature person now, and it still amazes me in a post-racial world (is it really?) how easily a white youth find it appropriate to utter ‘ignorant’ to an older colour of woman. It just demonstrates that this world that I have come to call home, Canada has not changed that much after all – many years later.
I am checking on my posted thoughts from yesterday of which the returned response indicated that my post requires moderation. To my bewilderment, I notice that my message has not posted. Can your organization please inform me as to the reason why my comments are not posted here? Is this blog strictly a private and business blog, not an open forum as I initially understood. In any case, I would appreciate an answer from your board to clarify my query.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. This will help my decision to connect our network with yours or not.
[Editor's note: We are a small crew and moderation on weekends is slow. I am just getting around to moderating several comments.]