[Editor’s note: Not surprisingly, pop icon Michael Jackson has come up more than once in ARP discussions of race, self-esteem and Eurocentric beauty standards. How does one explain to children a young, black man seeming to morph into a white woman? How does one explain to children an icon of black music–a Motown star no less–that seems to hate his blackness? With the passing of pop icon Michael Jackson, we thought we would re-post some pieces about him, written by ARP contributors. Next week, columnists will weigh in on how to address the King of Pop, his passing and the ensuing media circus with children.
The following post was written by ARP columnist Liz Dwyer in January 2008.]
*****************************************
About a month ago my husband came home with the December issue of Ebony magazine. I grew up seeing copies of Ebony around the house and so did he. But neither of us really read Ebony these days, so I was curious when I saw the top of the magazine peeping out from under a bag of apples.
I picked up the magazine, saw the whole cover and immediately understood why my husband bought it: Michael Jackson was on the cover.
My immediate reaction was to furtively hand it to him and hiss, “Hide that thing before the kids see it!”
He immediately understood me and tucked it into his bag.
This may seem like an odd reaction, but Michael Jackson has been a mythical figure in our household for a good part of this year.
It all began one day when I was watching VH1 Classic and Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” came on. My sons, ages four and six, were completely hypnotized. They stared at the TV with their mouths hanging open. And as the video played, they both wanted to know, “Mommy, who is THAT?”
“That’s Michael Jackson,” I replied.
“Michael Jackson,” they breathed reverently. And I knew how they felt. That era, the “Off the Wall” and “Thriller” era of Michael Jackson was simply amazing.
“I wanna see that again,” my youngest demanded. He didn’t care when I told him that I couldn’t just make the TV channel replay a video. And before long, his demands escalated into a tantrum and he got sent to timeout. Twice.
Later on I heard him saying, “I’m Michael Jackson,” and singing, “Beat it! Beat it!” to himself over and over again.
When my husband came home that night, the boys were eager to tell him about their latest obsession. And my husband was happy to dig through a closet and pull out a dusty VHS tape of ancient Michael footage. The tape had videos for songs like “Rock with You” and “Beat It” as well as footage from TV performances like “Motown 25” where Michael first did the Moonwalk.
But, by the time my boys began viewing the video for “Smooth Criminal”, they were confused. Those of us who’ve been alive during the past thirty years have witnessed Michael’s changes gradually: skin color lightening, hair straightening and facial features morphing. But for a couple of kids to see it within the blink of an eye, it’s really confusing.
Plus, in “Smooth Criminal”, Michael’s wearing a hat and his hair is longer than in the previous videos. And the skin tone on his hands isn’t the same as what you see in “Beat It”.
“Are you sure that’s Michael Jackson?” my six year-old queried. I could hear the disbelief in his voice.
“Yes, that’s Michael Jackson,” I answered. But I wanted to say, “Nope, it’s not,” and shut the tape off. I’d never imagined that I’d need to strategize around how to talk about Michael Jackson’s physical transformation. How to explain something that most of us adults are still trying to come to terms with?
“No. No, that’s not Michael Jackson, mommy,” my son insisted and his little brother agreed, proclaiming, “Michael Jackson looks like me!”
Both kids wanted me to immediately turn off “Smooth Criminal” and rewind back to their favorite, “Beat It”. I was happy to comply; happy to go back to a Michael who seemed to have already had some work done but still resembled a black man.
I’m not one to debate whether or not the man really has vitiligo and has chosen to go through a de-pigmentation process. But I do know that his hair becoming less kinky and his nose becoming a shadow of its former self has nothing to do with a skin disorder. Those things point to someone running from the hallmarks of his own blackness, and that’s not something I want my sons, with their fledgling black identities, to see.
And so in our home Michael Jackson’s appearance has been frozen in time. My sons have gone along these past few months thinking Michael still looks like he did in the early 1980s.
Inevitably though, my husband left the copy of Ebony sitting in the bathroom. My six year-old marched into the living room a couple of days ago holding it. He curiously asked me, “Mommy, who’s this?”
I felt a little like a parent who must finally tell their child that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy don’t really exist.
“That’s Michael Jackson.”
My son started laughing. He found my response so funny that he called his four year-old brother into the room and said, “Mommy’s trying to trick us!” He pointed to the picture and continued, “Mommy said that’s Michael Jackson!”
“Well, it is Michael Jackson!” I answered back.
There was more uproarious laughter as my son proclaimed, “Mommy, that’s not Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson’s not a white lady!”
They laughed even harder and the little one fell to the floor and began to roll back and forth while clutching his tummy.
And it would have been funny if I’d been joking. I mean, who’d have thought that “Beat It” Michael would turn into the image that’s on the cover of Ebony?
I wished I could tell them that it was merely a mask and that an unaltered Michael with a proud, wide nose and beautiful kinky hair awaited them inside the pages of the magazine. But that’s not the case.
I reminded them of the “Smooth Criminal” video and how they didn’t believe me then and didn’t want to watch it. I told them that Michael just kept on changing himself after that.
Of course, they got really quiet and wanted to know why and how.
I made the decision not to bluntly tell my sons something like, “Well, because of the insidious effects of racism, Michael hated being black so he cut and pasted himself into what you see on the cover of this magazine.” I could already see they were shocked and I didn’t want them to start feeling like there was something wrong with them too.
So, I told them that Michael says he has a skin disease that makes him lose his skin color. They had a lot of questions about that, particularly around whether or not they would also get this disease.
And then they asked about the nose and hair. I told them that Michael does what a lot of people do when they’re unhappy with the way they look: He changes his appearance with makeup, wigs and surgery.
It became another opportunity to talk about how to love and appreciate the skin, hair and body that you’ve been born with.
My sons ended up feeling sorry for Michael and wondered if doctors could change him back to the way he was before. I told them that I didn’t think so.
My savvy eldest wistfully touched the magazine cover, sighing, “Do you think he wishes he could still be brown like me?”
I wonder if any of us will ever know the answer to that question but I told my sons what I hope in my heart: Yes.
Liz Dwyer lives in Los Angeles with her husband of eight years, Elarryo Bolden and her two sons, ages six and three. Her great sense of adventure and desire to learn about diverse cultures took her to Guangzhou, China where she taught English to third and fourth graders, picked up some Mandarin, and managed to get into seven bike accidents. Liz taught in Compton, CA for three years and later worked for national education non-profit Teach For America. Liz has written and reflected on the world around her for the past three years at Los Angelista’s Guide to the Pursuit of Happiness. She’s currently freelance writing and working on her first novel.
Liz, I regularly refer to the past as “back in the day” or flippantly as “back when Michael Jackson was black.” My girls have seen MJ videos, etc., but only the pre-surgery stuff. I like how you handled this with your boys.
Oh great post! I’ve been wrestling with the whole MJ thing here, too, because I know my son would be crazy about him but man, the whole thing is COMPLICATED. Thanks for writing this!
Liz,
I have a 10 year-old and although I have not had to have this “conversation” yet, I feel a little more prepared for when that time should come. Thanks.
Just a “few” complaints here.
Michael Jackson does have vitiligo. Go look up Lee Thomas, the news reporter who has recently released a book called ‘Turning White’. He speaks about his condition often. In his interviews in promoting his book, he has fully supported Michael Jackson and has confirmed he does have vitiligo. Who better than to know from a fellow vitiligo sufferer? Believe me for a black person to have this disease, it is very depressing (white people can have vitiligo too). You may ask why does/is Lee Thomas able to apply brown make up to even out his complexion uniformly and Michael chose to depigment? Remember Thriller and Bad? That whole time he was applying brown make up. Nobody knew that at the time, of course. There are different types of vitiligo; in Lee Thomas case, his body is affected 35% of vitiligo skin, as he mentioned on Larry King Live. Michael Jackson however, has universal vitiligo, which covers 80% of his body. The vitiligo skin spreads gradually.
Michael’s transition from Thriller to Bad is not so much a big change if you consider the fact that his jheri curl became longer, a few shades lighter, and the same nose reshaped as Thriller.
Please explain to your children these things, and allow them to watch all of the wonderful videos Michael Jackson has made. To deprive them of ‘Smooth Criminal’, ‘Remember the Time’ (where he respects the ancient Egyptians roots, depicted with black people) ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’, ‘Man in the Mirror’, so on and so forth.
Funny, back in the late 80s, when I was their age, I always knew it was Michael Jackson, in whatever “carnation” given; the little boy with the afro, the older teenager with the bigger afro, the adult with a nappy jheri curl, the adult with the baby hair side burns and jheri curl, the slightly lighter, longer curly haired man, the beige complexion man with the curly hair, so on and so forth.
I, for one, highly doubt that the reason he modified his nose had anything to do with racism. Look at Thriller! The best selling album of all time, look at what all he achieved by that time, still physically seen as a black man.
Did they look inside the magazine and read the article? What did they think when they viewed the old photos that were included in the article, of he and Quincy Jones happily laughing and hugging each other, the Thriller album cover, and he and Quincy standing over the studio circa The Wiz era?
Just what I had to say in regards to some of the things you’ve said. Otherwise, what a thought provoking question and article.
Ive loved Michael Jackson since I was a baby and I got to watch him change gradually. I dont care how he looks, yeah I wish he still looked like the beat it video but its too late for him now. Regardless of how he looks he is the most talented man in music PERIOD.
“There was more uproarious laughter as my son proclaimed, “Mommy, that’s not Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson’s not a white lady!””
I had to laugh when i read this. This was my exact reaction! I did a complete double take when i saw that and asked myself “Why is there a white woman on the cover of Ebony magazine?”
That said… i completely understand why he had depigmentation treatment. A few years ago i sat in a doctor’s office with a woman with the same skin disease, and frankly she looked like a spotted cow. I’m not saying this to be rude or mean, but to be honest about how it affects ones appearance. If you’re in the limelight, and even if you’re not, it has to be hard to live with something that makes you a spectacle. It’s MJ’s cosmetic surgery that really bothers me…. He didn’t need to do it. there was nothing “spectacular” about his god-given features, and he was a mega star. Why then the need to change?
Michael Jackson is the same talented, gift, giving philantropist..he always was. This man has been through hell. No one can imagine reaching the level he has reached then finding out you have a disease that will completely change you…your appearance.. its so easy to judge and say he hates being black… instead of understanding how this disease could have affected him. I tell children the truth… they understand… the man has vitiligo and he had a 3rd degree burn accident when he was filming a commerical for Pepsi..its funny how everyone forgets that.. and forgets that that man gives back… he donated millions to the hospital that treated him .. including an equipment that would make life easier for other burn victims… he paid Sammy Davis Jr taxes when the IRS was knocking and the wife could not pay.. he gives millions to the UNCF..to send a black kids to school every year since the 80′s…he paid for David Ruffins from the Temptations funeral because he was broke .. he is listed as the most charitable celebrity in history by the Guiness Book of Records.. but of course no one mentions that.. to the lady that wrote the article.. use your clout.. call Michael and ask him .. I am sure he will answer you.. and be the gentleman he always is… stop judging.. and tell your kids the truth.. the man suffers from a disease.. Vitiligo…
Kudos to you handling the situation the way you did. My 12 year old and I have more cynical conversations about Michael Jackson. Unfortunately, having been a CASA for 14 years the more daunting issue for me is his relationship with children.
I miss the music but I will not listen to it anymore. As a community, we have to take a stand when it comes to our chlidren – and we just don’t. Talented or not………”black or not”……….at least for me there are more nefarious issues to consider.
In response to Yasmine:
“I’m not one to debate whether or not the man really has vitiligo and has chosen to go through a de-pigmentation process.”
“So, I told them that Michael says he has a skin disease that makes him lose his skin color.”
According to these quotes she did tell the kids that Michael said he has a skin disease…I don’t think anyone of us can truly confirm that unless you have some copies of his medical records…either perspective on the reason for his skin colors remains valid…in which case the response to explain to them what Michael says about his skin condition was the appropiate response.
Looks like you ran up against some real MJ lovers. Yes, they are still out there regardless to what he may or might not have done to himself and others. Your post was hilarious. Those of us who are parents of young children know they might say anything especially when it comes to what they see. My children who are slightly older than your eldest were a little frighten by his appearance and also thought he was a women.
Me, myself, I can be somewhat politically incorrect sometimes especially when it comes to my children and making a joke. One day my kids were acting out in the car and I told them if they didn’t stop I was going to “knock the black off them.” They got a kick out of that. A few days later they were attending an after school event where one of the teacher has vitiligo. My kids asked me later why this man’s skin was both brown and white. I began in ernest to explain his medical condition. My daughter gave me this dead pan look and responded with, “Oh, I just thought someone had knocked the black off him.”
I know for those of you who suffer with this disease this is no laughing matter but for young children they only respond to what they see and hear. We all do our best to train them up right but they don’t even know MJ’s history and in their eyes he’s one scary dude. I’m going with all the kids’ gut reaction, it will never let you down.
there are court documents out there from Michael Jackson’s doctor..confirming that he has Vitiligo.. but the media don’t focus on that .. they focuson other things. the song and dance man.. not only beat every record of any white artist out there.. he married own of the daughters.. and now own the music publishing rights for almost every top selling artist in history.. 40% of every song you hear on TV, in the movies and radio puts $$ in Michael’s pocket.. so what the media tries to do .. is tear him down instead of support.. let’s say.. if the media.. had reports/programs.. showing the vitiligo and giving the general public..the image of man who is suffering from a physical altering disease.. would more people be more supportive instead of saying.. he don’t like his blackness???… whether we realize it or not.. the media pre-determines what we should think about certain things.. Michael Jackson is one example ..
Wow- I’m surprised by this being on an anti-racist blog. How about raising kids who aren’t judgemental. I don’t care if it’s Michael Jackson (Who it’s pretty clear does indeed have vitiligo. Not much debate about it.) or joe down the street. You haven’t lived their life, don’t judge their decisions or choices. If they’re not doing anything criminal, who’s right is it to judge? I find it shocking that explaining a man they’ve never met to their children is so important. A simple “I don’t know sweetie-I hear he has a disease that destroys his pigmentation” and about the surgery- “He had a tough life-his self esteem probably isn’t so good” would’ve worked *FINE*. Or hey, how about “I don’t know him, hun, but it’s not nice to laugh at or judge someone without knowing who they are”
I’m sick of our society dehumanizing everyone. I could care less who it is. It’s terrible. It’s not okay and it’s not funny. It speaks nothing about the character of the person getting the jokes and insults thrown at them but it speaks VOLUMES about the person saying them.
I just wish people could be a little nicer, is all. It makes me sad.
When in God’s name did it become so acceptable to judge, joke, ridicue or be so damned nosey about someone? Especially in ragards to a disease. A legitamate disease! I guess because he’s “wacko jacko” it’s okay. So you know-if he got in a car accident and was a vegetable, that’d be all well and good to make fun of too, because, hell-it’s only Michael Jackson, right?
In my opinion-God made me, he made you-and he made Michael Jackson too. He loves him too. So he’s been thru hell already, He’s had alot of crap thrown at him pretty much his entire life. When he was little, he had people calling him an uppitty nigger, among other things, now he gets called a white woman. Fantastic. How freaking hilarious.
And yeah-I am a Michael fan. I appreciate him, his music, everything. I am not a psychotic fan who makes excuses for everything he does. He’s made mistakes and done dumb things. Duh, who hasn’t? I rarely post ywhere but for some reason this particular blog and some comments irked me enough to make me post. So-I hope some people maybe think about it a bit instead of insulting me and assuming I’m some Jackson nut.
God Bless
Of course you must be a “Michael lover” if you defend the man, or have a positive review/comment to say.
Anonymous, his medical records have been long confirmed by documents in the trial or 2003-05 and including 1993, which was a vital factor. His dermatologist and ex-wife (who was his nurse) have both testified under oath that he does suffer from vitiligo. It is an undisputed fact.
I will agree with whoever said its his plastic surgery I do not like. But he did have work done even in Thriller, so what can I say?
I thought this was a beautifully done and thought-provoking post. I think it’s important for children to understand the whole cosmetic surgery thing and the damage it can do.
I think you handled things beautifully with your boys, and I’m guessing they’ll grow to be happy, strong adults with a great sense of who they are – in all ways.
Deesha,
Thank you for saying that. It’s not often easy for me to figure out what to say to my kids when they ask these sort of questions.
You know how people joke that it’s hard to talk with their kids about sex because you don’t want to tell them too much too soon or get them freaked out or having weird ideas about sex? I think talking about how racism manifests itself in our society can be just as (if not more) important, but we don’t always prepare for it. I really had just never imagined that Michael Jackson would be one of those “moments”.
Dawn,
It’s complicated for us and we’re adults so it definitely is for impressionable kids. Thanks for sharing!
Shannon Wayne,
Glad that it was helpful! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Angela,
One of the things that made me profoundly sad when I read the Ebony article was seeing those old pictures and seeing how handsome Michael was. His nose was wide, his lips were full…he was beautiful, and all of that is gone. In my article I did say that I told my boys that Michael has vitiligo and they were afraid they were going to get it. Some people think he’s lying about it but I take him at his word. However, his having vitiligo does not mean that he needed to completely change his nose, lips, cheekbones and eyes. It does not mean that he needed to change his hair. The two have nothing to do with each other.
I do think that the plastic surgery and hair alterations are a result of a racist culture that trains us to believe that thinner lips, a thinner nose and straighter hair is a sign of beauty. If you look at pictures, you can tell he’s had plastic surgery between “Off the Wall” and “Thriller”.
I don’t want my kids seeing his plastic surgery because they are young, they are impressionable and our society sends such warped messages about their identities because they are black males. I feel I cannot be too vigilant about what they are exposed to. I would not want my sons to start to look in the mirror at their own features and begin to think those need changing. Let me take that back, they already do this and it breaks my heart to hear their comments.
Yes, Michael has still accomplished all that he has . Look at all the imitators! And I still think his music, especially the early stuff, is wonderful, but like all things in our society, I can choose to not swallow all that he offers whole.
Andy,
He is very talented, isn’t he? I’ve been listening to him my whole life and so has my husband. My husband is a HUGE fan of his. But each time we see the latest incarnation, it just makes us both a bit sad. I will say I still enjoy “Off the Wall” and “Thriller” like nothing else, even though Michael doesn’t look like that anymore.
Guatamam2jc,
You said, “It’s MJ’s cosmetic surgery that really bothers me…. ” Me too. And when people say it has nothing to do with racism, I always ask why didn’t he get his nose made even wider than?
I can’t imagine the mental and physical pain of vitiligo. It is such a terrible disorder.
Yasmine,
Glad to read your comments. Thank you for them. I did tell my children he has vitiligo. I also think that someone can do all the wonderful things that Michael has done and still have issues with identity and blackness. Again, his having vitiligo doesn’t mean that he needed to change the rest of his features in such an extreme way.
Why is it such a stretch to say that Michael might be in some way ashamed of his blackness? He would not be alone in that. We are made to feel ashamed of our features, our blackness, our hair and it takes it’s toll on folks. So if you have the money to change, I can see how it’d be a tough temptation to resist. I mean, when’s the last time you saw a dark-skinned celebrity with natural hair on the cover of Vogue? Have you seen L’il Kim lately? She’s admitted she has this internalized shame about her blackness and she has wanted to get rid of it through surgery.
I’m sure one day my kids will see the other incarnations of Michael again, but they’ll hopefully be a bit more mature and able to process it all.
Gloria,
Ah yes, that is a whole other can of worms, isn’t it? I tend to think innocent till proven guilty and he was not proven guilty. However, I wouldn’t leave my sons alone with him. And that’s not picking on Michael. It is rare for me to leave my sons alone with anyone. There are too many stories and too much anguish out there for me to do so.
Anonymous,
Thanks for chiming in and noticing that I did tell my kids he has vitiligo. I am not such a close follower of it all to know for sure whether there are court documents or not but I only need to use my eyes to figure out he’s had plastic surgery and has a pretty pricey lace front wig.
B,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I don’t think you’re a Jackson nut. But I do think raising kids to not be judgmental and raising kids with the ability to discern the truth are two different things. I am bucking the popular trend and I am not raising my sons to believe that everything and anything that happens in this world is alright. We do not have a, “Whatever you wanna do,” household. They have the structure and boundaries that all kids need but this does not mean that I teach them to ridicule or discriminate against those who have made other decisions with their lives. I teach them to have empathy for others and to regard others as part of their human family.
That said, I took a lot of the cues for talking about Michael from my kids. They laughed because they thought I was trying to play a trick on them. If I hold up a picture of Michael circa 1981 and then hold up…1991 and you haven’t seen the morphing going on, you might think it’s a little funny that someone is trying to trick you too.
It’s important to be able to discern what kids are ready to hear. In my post I said, “I told them that Michael does what a lot of people do when they’re unhappy with the way they look: He changes his appearance with makeup, wigs and surgery.” My kids are born and raised in LA so they know what that’s about, and really, if Michael was happy with the way he looks then no changes needed.
Angela,
I often wish the plastic surgery had just stopped then. I knew one of the guys who worked on Thriller and Bad and although he didn’t talk about Michael often, he always said that no one ever wanted to tell him no. It’s what happens with celebrities and we see it nowadays too.
Jen,
Thanks for putting your thoughts into the mix. I definitely don’t want my boys to be thinking that plastic surgery is something to be taken lightly, just another everyday part of life. I so want them to look in the mirror and not be thinking how their nose needs to be thinner. I sometimes hope that growing up in LA will turn them off from it even more!
Great post!!!! I am so proud of you for tackling such a difficult subject wit the boys. LOL
You did a great job.
1969,
Thanks for stopping by!
glad you told your kids he had Vitiligo .. and no its not far-fetch to think that someone could be ashame of their blackness.. BUT..I don’t like how he gets dehumanized…he is human.. not an alien.. he is somebodies son, brother, cousin, uncle..etc..who has an disease and had 3rd degree burn to his had.. everyone easily forgets that.. and just starts pointing the finger…..imagine for a moment that right after the Queen of England and Pope John Paul you were the 3rd most recognized/most popular/most photographed ..and the doctors diagnosed you with Vitiligo.. explaining what is going to happen to you physically..MJ was diagnosed during Thriller.. can you imagine the pressure??? Thriller was selling 1million copies a week and earned Sony over $1bil.. could you imagine the pressure???… our people are always quick to say he is lying about the disease.. we too often tear down our icon..where whites don’t. Elvis Presley is celebrated as the King of Rock & Rock..but they don’t write that he married Priscilla when she was 14years old.. isn’t that considered puedophilia?…
OK, Yasmine – you’ve crossed a line.
Marrying a teenager (yes, a young teenager) is DIFFERENT from child (yes, child) molestation.
Please don’t ever compare the two again. Consent issues alone… ick.
Elvis married Pricillia when she was 21 …. not 14.
May 1st 1967
maybe “marriage” is the operative word.. they did live together when she was 14years old…
Maybe Yasmine was thinking of Jerry Lee Lewis who married his 13 y.o. cousin? Either way: apples, oranges.
LOL, MJ was our introduction to plastic surgery as well! We don’t even have a tv, but I got going with some MJ on Youtube one fine day and the girls just didn’t know what to make of it!
I told them much of what you did, and then went right on listening to his music. I think it’s more important for them to see the talent than the oddity….because we’re weird, too!
Yasmine, Lyonside, Julia, Deesha,
I do think the issue of older men being involved with young teenagers and certain communities turning a blind eye to it is a problematic one. As far as Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis, my parents weren’t fans and taught me that neither one were to be emulated or worshiped.
Polly,
We all are weird in our own ways and being biracial, I grew up being called the, “Weird mixed girl.” They still see the old videos and the music is still being played in our house. They try to copy the dance moves now which makes me laugh a whole lot!
“His dermatologist and ex-wife (who was his nurse) have both testified under oath that he does suffer from vitiligo. It is an undisputed fact.”
Wow, that makes me sad. Why is that a matter for the courts? I understand that yes, MJ has been in court for some serious issues, but the personal and private issues of his medical conditions? It’s not even a medical condition that could affect the care of his children, if I’m correct.
Well, I guess in a country where our Congress is all tied up with Major League Baseball, I shouldn’t be too surprised.
Libra, you are so right. People prefer to think .. his skin changed due to bleaching.. and the prosecutor who was trying to destroy him and take is precious 3000 acres of fine California wine land.. tried his darnest to humilated this man.. he didn’t want to believe Michael suffered from a disease so he called the nurse and doctor to the stand.. to see if they were lying.. but instead.. it produced proof that he does have Vitiligo.. and what does the media do.. when the proof is there……..ignore it…!!and insenuate lies to the public… not only do I respect (not worship) but respect his talents..but also respect his strength… to go on.. dispite all he has been through… Keep your head up, Michael!
Liz: Re: Child molesters…
I ask rhetorically, why is R. Kelly still a free man? And if the latest reports are to be believed, the trial will go in his favor.
Sick.
Libra: The “Testifying in court” thing probably came up during the molestationt trials, regarding the issues of proving whether a child’s description of events was accurate or not.
It wasn’t a “let’s put Jackson on trial to see if he really has a disease” thing.
Yasmine, you’re not responding to the child molestation issue. I guess that’s just the media conspiring against him again?
*sigh* My kids were totally shocked to find out Michael Jackson wasn’t white. Last year I rented “Free to be You and Me” from netflix, and (not having a clue who any of the cast members were) at the beginning of the first scene, exlaimed in surprise… “OMG, that’s Michael Jackson.”
My then 10yo didn’t even blink before he answered…
“No it’s not. Michael Jackson is white.”
Deesha,
I’ve never seen the videotape because viewing it is actually committing a crime and our nation is innocent until proven guilty, but I know what you mean.
Curlykidz,
I can see why your kids would say that if they’ve only seen the current version of him. And again, I don’t think it’s just a matter of skin color. It’s also the changing of facial features and hair.
It’s very troubling to read Liz’s comments in an anti-racist blog. Michael Jackson has done a lot for the black community and has always taken the position that he’s a proud black man.
But I suppose you need to deride him for his disease. I just wonder if persons who are half black are similarly mocked.
As for plastic surgery, how about being consistent and then banning magazines of actors /models who similarly have plastic surgery, implants and the like. Or is your issue really the extent of plastic surgery. It’s hard to tell.
I would have thought that it would be best to perhaps explain to children your position against plastic surgery, etc, without resorting to ridiculing others.
I also see an allusion to previous charges by Gloria Brooks. As far as I know, he was fully and comprehensively acquitted. It’s surprising that you could still treat him as being convicted.
I’m just troubled by the fact that people need to villify others to this extent.
Lyonside, what question are you asking about the molestion.. if he did it? or if he was assumed guilty?.. what’s the question??
Liz, thanks for your thoughts. I discuss many of the same topics on my website, hapasmama.com. As the mother of biracial boys, it’s very important that my kids celebrate how they look.
I’m late coming to this. I have Vitiligo and I’m suspicious of the level of Michael Jackson’s condition. I’ve seen people of all ages with it and something about his condition doesn’t quite add up.
When I was first diagnosed the doctor told me that I had 3 options… do nothing, attempt to bring the color back or remove the remaining color. I opted to bring the color back since my Vitiligo was localized. I’ve lost my color twice in certain areas on my face and each time it has returned with treatment. When you are African American the color loss is dramatic and disturbing.
I believe he has the disease but how he chose to address it is what I wonder about.
The plastic surgery he’s had seems to be some sort of strange obsession. I’ve never once thought about changing my face if the treatment for Vitiligo stops working and my skin turns completely white. Should I change my African American features to go with white skin? Most people who have Vitiligo wouldn’t do that.
The plastic surgery is what makes everyone think he hates being black. There are plastic surgeons that specialize in maintaining the ethnic look of people of color. His first nose job fell under ethnic rhinoplasty and everything he’s had done since then appears to remove every bit of his ethnicity.
Along with what another commenter said, I wouldn’t expect this type of judging to be featured on a blog like this.
Michael has a disease, and on top of that, he’s probably been in the media spotlight (both in a positive and negative light) more than any human being….ever.
This seems like a typical response in an industry where your appearance is EVERYTHING. I won’t rule it out, but I don’t think it necessarily had anything to do with racism. White celebrities make their lips bigger….does that mean they hate their ‘whiteness’. No.
My approach to this issue wouldn’t even have to involve race. I’d tell my kids that Michael had a disease that changed the color of his skin and on top of that, he got some bad advice and decided to change the way he looked. You can even bring up how attractive Michael was back in the day without bringing race into it at all.
Wow, I am stunned by the responses to your article, Liz. I never once felt like you were judging Michael, just trying to figure out how to prepare your children for the inevitable confusion created when a beautiful black baby boy morphs into an odd-looking white woman in the span of a few years.
I met Michael in 2004 and found him to be a kind, intelligent, softspoken and extremely shy person. I do think he is a beautiful fragile soul, but I also believe he has very very deep issues around blackness — especially black maleness. The day my daughters and I met him he was hanging out with Aaron Carter and was (we all thought) unusually enamored with him — not in a sexual way, but almost like a kid who was reaaaally eager to be friends with the cool kid on the block.
At Neverland Ranch, Michael has dozens of amazing bronze statues of children which he commissioned specifically for the ranch, but NOT ONE of the statues is of a child with non-European features. Every single statue is of narrow-nosed, thin-lipped children with straight or wavy hair. Couple that with the appearance of Michael’s own children (who somehow inherited NONE of Joseph Jacksons very strong genes) and one does wonder if there is some kind of childhood trauma that left Michael not wanting to be the beautiful brown-skinned, wide-nosed, thick-lipped, nappy-haired boy Katherine and Joseph created.
I was struck when I met him by how his hands are so much whiter than the rest of him. A close friend of his (who’s been in his inner circle for years) said that was due to the prescription bleaching cream Michael applied for many months to remove the pigment from his skin.
I have always felt that Michael really just aches to be loved for who he is on the inside, and he surrounds himself with children because they tend to be so forgiving of those who are “odd” which Michael definitely is (I don’t mean that in a negative way).
I have a chocolate brown daughter who could say “Mikuh Jasson” before she could say her own name (no kidding). This is the same child who at age four told me she wished God didn’t make her brown. Those are words no mother ever wants to hear, so I understand completely why Liz wanted her husband to hide the magazine.
I can’t speak for all black people of course, but most of the black folks I know are hurt and disappointed by Michael’s change, and we are more apt to call it what it looks like to us (escape from blackness).
Liz said, “And then they asked about the nose and hair. I told them that Michael does what a lot of people do when they’re unhappy with the way they look: He changes his appearance with makeup, wigs and surgery.”
For anyone to say you can have a conversation with a black child about Michael Jackson’s metamorphosis and “leave race out of it” is… interesting. The race conversation isn’t intrinsically negative — it’s how you handle it that makes all the difference.
In a society that has historically placed a beauty premium on whiter skin, straighter hair and thinner lips and nose, we have to constantly monitor how our children are progressing in their ability to love the “wrapper” God gave them.
Thank you for sharing, Liz.