[Editor's note: Over the next few weeks and months, I'll be posting some articles that help define what we believe in this house, that is Anti-Racist Parent. I'm going to talk about the "givens" in this community--the things that are not up for debate. At its very simplest, the purpose of this site is to be a resource for anti-racist parents. We can't fulfill that mission properly if we're constantly debating whether or how much race is an issue. It is an issue--that's what we believe. There are places on the Internet where you can debate that fact all day long. This ain't the place.
This first entry in "What We Believe" is actually an old post from my personal blog that was also crossposted on Racialicious. It was written during the 2008 elections at the height of the sturm und drang about race in America, and following a Women's History Month blog carnival and podcast that I hosted then. At the end of the piece, I link back to a post by Latoya Peterson on Racialicious where she addresses the Lou Dobbs/Condi Rice controversy about the importance of race as an issue in America.]
Dear America: A few things this black woman would like you to know about race
wirtten by Anti-Racist Parent editor Tami Winfrey-Harris
It is normal to be prejudiced.
…and in a country like America that was born and raised on the notion of white supremacy (See manifest destiny, slavery, Jim Crow, internment of Japanese citizens…), it is normal to be prejudiced against black people. So ingrained is the idea that white culture is right, or at least the benchmark for all other cultures, that even most black Americans devalue blackness (See “the doll test” as one example. See black hack comedians and their “black people are always late, broke, triflin‘…” schtick as another.) So white America, your personal prejudices are not all your fault.
Now that I have said that, now that I have absolved you of personal guilt, can we have the conversation about race that everyone keeps referring to? I mean a REAL conversation, not the one that has played out over the last month on talk radio and cable news and political blogs and Web sites, where black people attempt to shed some light on the ways race affects our daily lives and white people get defensive and angry and insist that race is no longer an issue.
Witness the reaction to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s recent statements about race.
“Black Americans were a founding population,” Rice said. “Africans and Europeans came here and founded this country together — Europeans by choice and Africans in chains. That’s not a very pretty reality of our founding.”
As a result, Miss Rice told editors and reporters at The Washington Times, “descendants of slaves did not get much of a head start, and I think you continue to see some of the effects of that.”
“That particular birth defect makes it hard for us to confront it, hard for us to talk about it, and hard for us to realize that it has continuing relevance for who we are today,” she said. SOURCE
What to me seemed like a reasoned statement that acknowledges the reality of our country’s past and present, made Lou Dobbs clutch his pearls in horror.
“There is no country on the face of the Earth as progressive, as racially and ethnically diverse as our own,” Dobbs wailed. “It’s something we should be proud of.” SOURCE
Why is the very mention of our country’s racist past and its lingering prejudices anathema to some? Why does discussing racism so often result in defensive bravado? It’s as if pointing out racial challenges negates the progress the country has made and condemns every member of the mainstream as an irredeemable racist. That is not the case.
If you are willing to listen, here are some other things that this black woman would like the mainstream to know about racism and the relationship between black and white Americans:
Racism and prejudice aren’t about white sheets and Jim Crow anymore. Black Americans know that. Only an idiot would claim that our nation has not made tremendous gains in racial equality.It is just that we know that racism and prejudice still exist, because we live with it every day. Unlike the naked racism faced by our grandparents and ancestors, the bias most of us face today is covert or institutionalized.
For those who listened to the Women’s History Month panel discussion, you may remember Shecodes, a black woman, sharing a story about a job interview with a Wall Street firm. The company was eager to recruit Shecodes after reviewing her resume and talking to her on the phone, but when she arrived for her interview, things changed. Shecodes waited nearly an hour before asking if the interview was going to happen. What followed was a discussion with a brusque interviewer who would not make eye contact and quickly dismissed her. Nearly every black professional I know can tell at least one story like this–a job interview where a potential employer is excited by stellar credentials and a race-neutral name and voice, but immediately turned off at the sight of a black candidate.
Now Shecodes eventually got a job on Wall Street and indeed ended up having the very office once occupied by her rude interviewer. Did she triumph? Yes! Is this occurrence as bad as being held in bondage or legally denied the vote? Maybe not. But it is still racism.
Modern racism is like a dull ache:
Being able to only rise so high in the company despite excellent credentials and performance …a dull ache.
Having your natural kinky hair stared at and pawed by strangers…a dull ache.
Being followed around department stores by security officers…a dull ache.
Worrying about young male loved ones often stopped by police for “driving while black”…a dull ache.
Seeing how quick Americans were to believe erroneous tales of raping and pillaging among Hurricane Katrina victims at the Superdome…a dull ache.
Watching missing young white women and children garner national coverage while black women and children are ignored…a dull ache.
Living in the Midwest and knowing that there are still some towns that you dare not visit alone…a dull ache.
Wondering if the poor service and stares you received at that great new restaurant were based on your race…a dull ache.
A dull ache is far better than what my ancestors suffered (At 38, I am just one generation removed from Jim Crow.). I have only rarely been the victim of overt racism, but a dull ache is still depressing and stressful in its persistence. And covert racism keeps the playing field imbalanced just as overt racism does. I should also mention that I am the educated, middle class child of an educated, middle class family. For many black people, caught in a cycle of poverty, racism is less a dull ache than chronic torment.
Black people don’t expect you to know about all of these things. How could you? How can Lou Dobbs, a wealthy, white man, unequivocally proclaim how “progressive” America is about race? How the hell would he know?
We just need you to admit that you don’t know. And then we need you to listen.
Anger at the system is not the same as anger at individual white people. Many black people are frustrated and angered by racial inequities inherent in “the system,” but that doesn’t mean that we are angry with you the individual. During the Women’s History Month broadcast, Shecodes clearly stated that her experience with the racist Wall Street interviewer did not make her dislike white people. Only that woman can bear the guilt for what she did. Most black people I know feel the same way. Most of us have white friends and neighbors. Some of us have white husbands and wives and other family members. Our anger isn’t about hatred; it is about a desire for equality.
Good people can be prejudiced. Where did everyone get the idea that prejudiced people were mustache-twirling, one-dimensional villains? The idea keeps everyday people from honestly evaluating their biases, because “only bad people are prejudiced.”
As I said in the first paragraph of this essay, white supremacy is ingrained in American culture and we are all affected by that. I don’t mean the “white power” sort of supremacy, just the idea that the dominant culture, which is white/European, is the benchmark. So, it is no surprise that blond hair and blue eyes are celebrated, that a black preacher’s fiery sermons would strike many Americans as odd, and that a black accent is perceived as less desirable than a white one.
The sin is not that we are biased in this way–and we are ALL biased. The sin is that we pretend that we aren’t biased and fail to address the inequities that our prejudice creates.
There is more I could add, like: There are no official black leaders so please stop thinking Al Sharpton is the black Messiah. But the points above are ones that have been swirling in my head as public discourse has more and more turned to the topic of race.
Look, all this black woman wants is equal access to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. My experience tells me that despite great strides, we aren’t there yet. And we won’t get there as long as the majority of Americans think the job is already done. Unfortunately, recent conversations about race have led me to believe this is exactly what the majority of Americans think.
It is way past time to have a real conversation about race. But America, are you willing to listen as well as speak?
Agree with me? Disagree? Let me hear from you.
UPDATE: Latoya Peterson at Racialicious holds forth on the Rice/Dobbs controversy here.
Excellent essay. Mad props to you.
Yes, it is normal to be prejudiced. But, what requires training is learning how to combat it. Most people never quite seem to transition to the latter.
Ta-Nehesi Coates of The Atlantic has also written an excellent essay on race:
http://ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/07/the_limits_of_our_dialouge_on_race_and_beyond.php
At its very simplest, the purpose of this site is to be a resource for anti-racist parents. We can’t fulfill that mission properly if we’re constantly debating whether or how much race is an issue. It is an issue–that’s what we believe. There are places on the Internet where you can debate that fact all day long. This ain’t the place.
Praise be.
I’m so glad this is being articulated. From what I know of the columnist group, none of us subscribe to group-think or shy away from healthy debate, but the voices of those whose sole purpose for coming here seems to be to announce “That’s not racist!” (or some variation thereof) is absolutely wearying (to me) and totally interferes with progressive discussion (imo).
I am here to share and to be challenged, and in the process, to learn. But some things really are fundamental. So thank you, Tami and Carmen, for beginning the process of identifying those fundamentals for ARP and for those of us who value this “house” and its purpose.
Thank you for that. Very well put.
Well, it’s pretty clear that racism, and other forms of prejudice, are pretty much intrinsic human qualities. Ironically, it’s the ability to make patterns and stereotypes that also gives us intelligence (or at least the cranial capacity for it).
@Deesha – I feel like your comment was at least partially directed at me, so here’s my take: being an anti-racist parent, as opposed simply to a non-racist parent, means trying to create change, to affect other peoples’ behavior. To me, that implies that we should focus on the things that make a difference. Which is why I’ll continue to challenge whether some instances are indeed racist or not.
@Deesha, sign on to your post 100%. I come to this site as a respite from all the “What are Black people still complaining about? There’s a Black president!” nonsense that goes on in other sites. Its like a breath of fresh air and when I see that kind of “I can’t be racist, I have a Black husband/baby/friend/doctor” post it makes me feel tired. Is there no sanctuary? Sigh. But I am glad it has been articulated and set forth. I am here to learn and to feel like I am not alone in trying to raise my children without racism and sexism infecting their every thought.
Tami–thank you for re-posting this entry (I remember reading it back when on your other blog). And I want to echo Deesha’s comments and Tami’s initial sentiments–it seems like Anti-Racist Parent is a blog for those of us who have a basic definition of race and racism and who want to practice anti-racism and come here to figure it out in a safe environment.
@dersk, I have no idea whether or not Deesha was making the comment with you in mind, but the fact that you responded as you did probably says a lot about feeling like you need to “challenge whether some instances are indeed racist or not.” As a regular reader and semi-regular contributor, my first thought is that if you are here to challenge people on what they believe is an instance of racism/white privilege, then perhaps you don’t really understand what Tami’s point is in creating a base-line definition for racism and the common ground that we share.
I may read something that someone posts and I may not agree with everything 100%–or I may feel like I would have reacted differently or taken a different stance. I admit that I have blinders on, sometimes, to different forms of oppression–and I’m working to change that and to be aware that something I didn’t think was particularly egregious may have been enormously offensive to someone else. But just because I may differ in my reaction or feeling doesn’t mean I don’t think that someone on this blog has the right to say “I felt oppressed–I felt this was an instance of racism.”
I’m not here to be the racism police–to tell someone else, this is an instance of racism and that isn’t. Even if I believed that, I think what is more valuable is to find out WHY someone felt oppressed by a particular action/statement or HOW to work out uncomfortable feelings related to race and racism. I come here to explore those issues and not to be judged about whether an instance I deem to be oppressive/racist/privileged is accurate or not. I don’t need someone to give me a reality check on this blog (unless I specifically ask for it)–I come here to share in an on-going dialogue and discussion on how to best enact anti-racist practices.
And by the way, since you have mentioned several times that you no longer live in the U.S., did it ever occur to you that those of us living here, in the U.S. and living as people of color or white allies, may have a sense of what we’re talking about when we describe racist encounters, and wouldn’t it be nice to give us the benefit of the doubt then to continually remind us all that you no longer live in the U.S. but from what you remember, years ago, race in the U.S. was like “X”?
I’m glad you are here–I don’t want you to think I’m jumping down your throat, but I don’t know that anyone wants to make you the hall monitor who challenges what is real “racism” or not.
Jennifer…co-sign, co-sign, co-sign.
@ dersk…If the racism hall monitor vest fits, wear it. Your apparent (based on your comment above) disregard for what Tami is establishing *for ARP* with this post speaks volumes.
@Jennifer – actually, I wouldn’t describe the article as a baseline definition of racism vs. a bunch of examples (I’m unclear on whether the working definition here is holding any stereotypes, value-based stereotypes, or acting based on value-based stereotypes vs. simply thinking them).
Certainly willing to accept that as a white guy who moved to Amsterdam in ’94, I’m out of touch with American culture. But I think I’ve also got some perspective in that I’ve been a minority for the past 15 years (admittedly, a privileged minority). And to be honest, the only two times I’ve pulled the ‘that’s not really racist card’ was one in which the author was asking if she was overreacting and the other one about the non-custodial parents…
Modern US racism is like a dull ache … if you are of a certain class.
For middle and upper class “POC,” American racism may be experienced as more of a dull ache involving barriers to upward mobility or social discrimination.
But for the minority underclass, American racism is a sharp pain–a direct, in-your-face oppression that is brutal to the core.
The USA’s Prison Industrial Complex (aka the American Gulag) is the living proof of this, where nearly 60% of all prisoners are minorities, despite being only 25% of the US population.
And the so-called progress that America has made in terms of race is a cynical progress based upon creating and coopting minority elites into the US system (with a modicum of socio-economic advancement), while subjugating all the rest.
This is the broader political-economic framework that defines the USA today and is necessary for understanding the nature of White Supremacy and racism in the self-styled Land of the Free, as Juan Santos explains:
“The US has the highest rate of imprisonment in the world. It is a system of mass imprisonment aimed at the control of people of color, who, the elites fear, have the potential to violently and politically rebel again as they did in the 1960s. People in other parts of the world simply cannot begin to imagine the conditions that exist here; the US holds 25% of the world’s prisoners – a Gulag comprised mostly of prisoners from the minority populations of African and Native American descent – Blacks and Latinos.”
[...]
“What the white ruling class did here was this: following the mass rebellions and the burning of major US cities in the 1960s, the white ruling class decided on a strategy of divide and conquer. They created a Black middle class almost overnight, largely using government employment to do so, while at the same time they found another way to deal with the millions of people of color who could not fit into the system; mass imprisonment. These developments are 2 sides of the same coin. “
Obama, King and Kennedy: Empire and the “End” of Racism
http://the-fourth-world.blogspot.com/2009/01/obama-king-and-kennedy-empire-and-end.html
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Tammi, this is so well written! I just feel like printing this up and handing it out to friends, family . . . anybody. Your points are so important, and I too wish people would get this. I am so thankful for this site as a place where people understand that race is still important, and that we still have work do to.
In regards to the comments above, it does strike me, especially in the wake of the Gates controversy, that two people can care very deeply about the subject of race and yet still land on different perspectives regarding what constitutes racism. I was just watching CNN last night, where they were interviewing two men who write prolifically on the subject, and who were polarized in their perecption of the events. So it may be that dynamic that plays out here, as well. I wonder if it may be allowable for readers to care deeply about race but still disagree on the impact of certain events. (Looks like that is even happening on the open thread, just after this post was written).
I can certainly hear the frustration with this, but at the same time, in a way it is good that people arrive here at all levels of understanding and racial development. If it becomes inclusive to only those who “get it” completely, then those who are “seekers” will never grow.
All that to say, I have been profoundly impacted by this site and what I am still learning here. I hope the discourse continues and patience can be afforded to difference of opinion and/or racial understanding.
Thanks. Sometimes people want you to think that the dull ache is all in your head. I can still remember a couple of those interviews. One took place over 20 years ago but I remember it like it happened yesterday.
yes, racism does exist. yes, race is still an issue. i think we can all agree to that. but
i think that debating whether a particular incident is racist or not is irrelevant. the issue is that people, in particular people of color, have to have the feeling that they are being treated a certain way because of their race. this is not something that i as a white person experience; i have the privilege (completely unearned) of not having to think that i am being negatively judged because of my race. i don’t want the privilege; i just have it. and that’s not fair to me, nor is it fair to anyone else. that is the dull ache of racism.
@Kristen
If it becomes inclusive to only those who “get it” completely, then those who are “seekers” will never grow.
I think “seekers” vs. those who “get it” is a false dichotomy with regard to what is being discussed here. We are all seekers, I believe, striving to better “get it” as anti-racist parents. What I’m reacting to, and what I think Tami’s post is intended to address isn’t “seeking” behavior. Jennifer’s “racism hall monitor” captures it perfectly. Apples and oranges, imo.
Also…
@Kristen
If it becomes inclusive to only those who “get it” completely, then those who are “seekers” will never grow.
There are reasons folks will not “grow” as anti-racist parents, but I wouldn’t say that the fault lies with whether a particular online community is inclusive or not. In fact, I think that’s a cop-out, similar to: “I tried to be friendly to that black woman in the next cubicle, but when I told her that I couldn’t bring myself to vote for a black president, she stopped talking to me. There’s no pleasing those people!”
Some people see incidents like that as “teachable moments”, opportunities to help a racist grow. Other of us have had it up to here.
No one should ever feel obligated to entertain or tolerate ignorance or that which undermines their purpose.
The more the merrier when it comes to anti-racism parenting, but not everyone who shows up here is trying to grow, imo, so why shouldn’t the moderators establish some parameters? Showing up is not enough.
Inclusive…to what end? Certain types of commentary are counterproductive or even disruptive. This isn’t my site, so I can’t define those terms–but I believe Tami can and should.
If someone wants to “grow” in their anti-racism efforts, the ultimate responsibility for this lies with them. If those of us who have experienced racism can become anti-racist (and not vengeful or hateful) without an affirming welcome wagon everywhere we go, then I think it’s not too much to ask visitors to an anti-racist community to respect that this community is not perfectly inclusive (according to the terms that Tami sets).
Being a part of this community is not an inherent right. If someone is truly seeking to grow as an anti-racist parent by being a part of this community, then perhaps they should make sure that their comments on ARP don’t continually clash with the purpose and “rules of engagement” of this site–as defined by the folks who run the site. They always have the option of starting their own site and making their own house rules.
To me it’s akin to someone going to a breastfeeding support site and constantly extolling the joys of bottle feeding and formula. Should that community of breastfeeding moms be completely inclusive and help that visitor “grow” by tolerating the one-note comments that stand in contrast to their mission?
I wonder if it may be allowable for readers to care deeply about race but still disagree on the impact of certain events.
I believe so, if what you mean is care deeply not about race but about racism–about confronting and overcoming racism. However, the comments that I take issue with don’t fall into that category because I’m not getting the “care about racism” vibe.
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