Nappy hair in the Jolie-Pitt world

written by Anti-Racist Parent contributor Renee; originally posted at Womanist Musings

Those of you who have read this blog know from my previous posts here, here, and here, that I am not a fan of Angelina. I was attracted to this photo because of Zahara Jolie Pitt. She is clearly happily going on an excursion with her mother but even at her tender age, she cannot escape the typical criticism that is aimed at Black women across the globe.

I wonder what treatment that s/he would like little Zahara to get…somehow I think it involves either a hot comb or some kind of chemical straightener. Judging from the use of the word Nappy, the above commenter seems most offended that Angelina has not seen fit to encourage the child to be ashamed of her natural hair, the way other “good little Black girls” are.

While braids and bows are certainly one way to treat hair, again why is it so unacceptable that Zahara is allowed to have her hair flow freely? [Ed. note: And the misognyny in that quote...it burns.]

One of the first thing a little Black girl learns is that unlike White children, her hair is automatically assumed to be a problem to be managed. Rarely are we taught to marvel at the gravity defying shapes that it can take on and before we can articulate any coherent feelings on the matter, the world has already encouraged us to internalize a negative concept of Black womanhood.

Our beauty is never assumed, in fact it is considered a work in continual progress. The goal posts are moved to ensure that we are always chasing something that is elusive and forever unreachable. Black women spend millions of dollars per year on our hair and it is no accident that the first Black millionaire Madame C.J. Walker sold hair care products.

Internalizing that our natural state is ugly, means that companies are able to profit from our unease and it affirms the racial hierarchy that we have normalized. Natural hair is purposefully constructed as savage and uncouth. Nappy and or kinky hair announces to the world that one is unapologetically Black and in a society in which bodies of color are devalued, social discipline is the swift and unrelenting response. Black women are not allowed to assert agency or demand that they be accepted for who they are.

If we were truly valued, the ruthless profiteering from our so-called deficiencies would have to halt and since much of western society is built upon the exploitation of bodies of color, this is simply unacceptable. Poor little Zahara is only a child and already many are attempting to make her aware that despite her class privilege that she is still Black and therefore unworthy.

My heart aches for the little Black girls who cannot play in the snow for fear of their hair “turning back”. I feel sadness for the girls that must restrict their movements to limit they amount they sweat, all in an effort to ensure that no naps appear. They are slaves to their hair, just as certainly as their foremothers were forced to work in a White mans kitchen. Submission is what our natural hair teaches us because we cannot conquer it; Black hair will always demand a return to its natural state, mirroring the ways in which we as people have always known struggle in our life. In a world that favours long silky tresses, there is no room for hair that will not be orderly and uniform. Whiteness as a standard leaves no room for difference.

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Trackbacks & Pings

Speaking of hair…: An ARP roundtable at Anti-Racist Parent - for parents committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook on 03 Aug 2009 at 7:27 am

[...] note: Last week, while folks here on Anti-Racist Parent were discussing Renee’s compelling post on Zahara Jolie-Pitt’s hair, some of us behind the scenes were talking about a recent Atlanta [...]
The Myopia of Privilege at Anti-Racist Parent - for parents committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook on 06 Aug 2009 at 11:12 am

[...] note: Last week, while folks here on Anti-Racist Parent were discussing Renee’s compelling post on Zahara Jolie-Pitt’s hair, some of us behind the scenes were talking about a recent Atlanta [...]
The taming of blackness at Anti-Racist Parent - for parents committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook on 07 Aug 2009 at 5:52 am

[...] note: Last week, while folks here on Anti-Racist Parent were discussing Renee’s compelling post on Zahara Jolie-Pitt’s hair, some of us behind the scenes were talking about a recent Atlanta [...]
mimi smartypants - rev it up on 08 Aug 2009 at 3:24 pm

[...] 8. If I see an African-American girl with “natural” hair and African-American parents, I think Oh how cute and yay how liberated. The same child with white parents, I think Oh dear, they don’t know how to do her hair. Unfair but a hard habit to break. More here. [...]

Comments

deesha wrote:

This post brought back sad memories for me. In 2005, while my mother was transitioning in hospice care (breast cancer) in another state, my young daughters would be solely in my soon-to-be-ex-husband’s care for a week or two at a time. Understandably, his main priorities were finding child care each day so that he could go to work and helping the girls adjust to my absence until the next time he could bring them to me. Hair care was not really high on his list of priorities nor was it his forte. He did the best he could.

During this time, he took the girls to a cookout at the home of some friends of ours. An older black woman there commented to the hostess that we (she knew me) should be ashamed of ourselves for letting our then 18-month-old daughter go around with her hair looking like “that” (a longish loose ‘fro). The host explained that I was not around because of my mother’s illness. This woman replied, “So? That’s no excuse.”

Moral of the story: No matter what’s going on in your life, the naps have to be tamed. Nothing–not even the death of a loved one–is more important than this.

Sickening.

Yes, my ex could have asked a relative or family friend to “do something” with our daughter’s hair, but so what that it didn’t occur to him?

Let me calm down…

I read “Weaving a Family” (about transracial adoption) and had the opportunity to interview the author, Barbara Katz Rothman, who is white. She wrote appreciatively about a black neighbor intervening and teaching her to style her black daughter’s hair according to what she called “culturally accepted standards”–cornrows, ponytails, puffs, etc. Natural hair was not the enemy; Rothman simply wanted her daughter to look like the other little black girls in kindergarten. I think this is fine, and I also think that neatness matters (though Renee’s post here is challenging where I first got my idea of what “neat” black hair should look like). But the vitriol with which some people react to nappy hair/black hair in its natural state suggests something that goes beyond a concern for neatness.

While I don’t judge anyone else for their hair choices, it troubles me when these choices are made on the ugly premise of “good” vs. “bad” hair, and this false dichotomy is instilled in black children at such early ages.

(As far as “natural” goes, my daughters and I wear locs, but this honey brown color is not what’s growing out of my roots.)

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 7:27 am ¶
Lee wrote:

As a white adoptive mom of 4 children of color I feel a constant pressure to have my black children looking “good” when we are out. This is particularly true of my daughter. I have had well meaning black friends and residents tell me that they will braid her hair and they are shocked to find out that I know how to braid and bead. (they are open and honest enough to admire the finished result). But I don’t really dare let my daughter go out often with free hair. If I do it at all outside our home, I make a sort of coronet around it with a braid and then style the free puff onto the top of her head. I know that if I allowed it to look as natural as in this picture that people would very much feel I just didn’t know what to do and would look down on my beautiful daughter. Personally I love working with her hair. It is beautiful and I use all natural products specifically designed for AA hair.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 7:40 am ¶
curlyscales wrote:

Renee,
My sentiments exactly. My 15-year old daughter started wearing her hair out and while I love and support it I was a bit worried about her upcoming trip to Florida for a visit with her Alabama-raised grandfather. He’s from the old school (he reminds us of this everyday) and his stance is that we appear “proper” in public as to not give “white folks” any reason to despair.

But my daughter won him over. Funny how unconditional love can trump a lifetime of conditioning

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 7:58 am ¶
Lala wrote:

thanks for this Renée. I am the white mother of a mixed daughter whose hair defies definition. It’s very curly like mine, a bit knotty/dready and a bit straight. I haven’t found any oils or creams, olive, carrot, cholesterol, that soak in and moisten it enough to make it manageable so she often goes out with her full “fro” on. I get heaps of scorn from women with beautifully managed hair but I can’t realistically do anything about it. Jolie aside, I feel better knowing not everyone scorns this look.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 8:56 am ¶
Lala wrote:

actually if you scroll down that’s my daughter with her brother in the latest kid pic.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 9:00 am ¶
poppa wrote:

fierce — that is loudly commendable

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 9:16 am ¶
calimommi wrote:

There is a difference in letting cared-for-hair go natural and being lazy and/or ignorant of hair care.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 11:44 am ¶
Tami Winfrey Harris wrote:

Lala,

I always flinch a bit at the word “manageable” in relation to the hair of people with African ancestry. There is this idea that because our hair is not easily cared using the same methods that work for straighter hair, and that because our hair is not easily manipulated into the tamed hairstyles that work for straight hair, that caring for our tresses is some sort of burden. I’m not saying that you think this way, just that “manageable” is a trigger word for me.

My hair is no less manageable than any other woman’s hair. It simply needs to be managed differently and the end result of my hair care looks different, too.

I recommend the book “Curly Girl” by Lorraine Massey for women–no matter their race–with curly hair.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 11:56 am ¶
Elena Perez wrote:

Her other daughter’s hair is a mess too, thrown into a quick, sloppy ponytail, but I don’t see anyone criticizing that in the same way.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 12:30 pm ¶
Laura wrote:

Lala, I just have to say that when I saw the picture of your kids, one of my first thoughts (after how cute they were of course!) is how beautiful her hair looks!

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 1:30 pm ¶
Julia wrote:

Lala,
Just for the record, I think your daughter’s hair looks gorgeous.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 1:35 pm ¶
curlyscales wrote:

@Calimommi,
Does your statement include all children?

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 2:00 pm ¶
Liana wrote:

What I find funny (not ha ha funny, but interesting funny) is that I am a very ethnocentric sista who wears her hair natural but still thought to myself that I wouldn’t let my kidlet go out of the house with her hair looking like Zahara’s does in that picture. And no, I’m not looking to throw in some chemical or a hot comb. I just believe in my kid’s hair looking neat, period. I don’t care whether the kid’s hair is straight, curly, loc’ed or happily nappy. It also doesn’t matter whether the kid is a she or a he. I was just raised to walk out of the house looking put together and not like you just rolled out of bed. So yes, I probably would have done a little something more with Zahara’s hair just because I want my kid’s hair to look as nice as possible…and because my dead mother would come back from the other side to whup my ass if I did anything less.

Again, I see doing something to hair (natural/curly/straight/whatever) on a daily basis as basic grooming, like brushing your teeth and washing your face. Zahara’s hair in the picture looks like bedhead to me.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 2:49 pm ¶
Lala wrote:

Tami – interesting that you say that because I’ve taken to putting quotes around the word manageable because of everything negative it represents. That was one time I neglected to do that. I hate that word too and I don’t have “manageable” hair. It’s my genetic contribution to my daughter’s hair that has created it’s desire to knot up.

Posted 31 Jul 2009 at 5:50 pm ¶
Kandeezie wrote:

“Quick child, cover up your hair before they see it and think you have no problem with your African heritage!! You know you’ll never survive society or get a job like that! And once they start exposing you, they’ll start looking at us, your family, and wondering if we’re gonna be brave too and flaunt our blackness in their face, as if we’re rebels or something! So quick child, cover up your blackness – I mean hair – before they realize you like yourself and aren’t trying to be exactly like them. They only trust you when you wanna be like them, so try before you expose us all!”

Posted 01 Aug 2009 at 12:22 am ¶
Susan wrote:

I don’t understand all the fuss. Kids are kids. You can dress their hair in the morning, and it will be roughed up 1 hour later. For all we know, Jolie combed her hair in the morning after the girls bath… and air had its way with it.

I applaud Jolie for teaching her daughter to be comfortable with her natural hair.

However, I have to say that the desire to put AA hair in braids or plats is nothing new. When I grew up as a kid in Nigeria, parents basically did 3 things to little girls hair .. they put it in cornrows, plat it with thread or cut it short.

So if Africans in pre-colonial times kept their hair in braids/plats/cut short, why do we associate bad things to folks who feel the same way today?

The only difference I see is the derogotary language that some folks (today) use when an AA kid’s hair is left out/free.

Posted 01 Aug 2009 at 12:43 am ¶
Susan wrote:

By the way.. I don’t mean to imply that I lived in pre-colonial times. lol. I’m just 39.

When I grew up perms or hot combs were not allowed in kindergarten/ elementary/ highschool. Even if you had a perm, you hair had to be in braids.

Posted 01 Aug 2009 at 12:55 am ¶
Lexie wrote:

I agree there is a big difference between going free and having a lazy hair day and just being lazy or ignorant about hair care. Her hair looks fine it may need a little moisture, but not something that I would say needs to be “fixed”.

Posted 01 Aug 2009 at 2:17 am ¶
Andrea wrote:

Why can’t the poor kid go out looking messy (or in her case, with completely natural-looking, curly hair) now and then without everyone pointing fingers at her and her family and thinking her hair means her parents must not care about how she looks? They have six little kids under eight. Even with the money and help they have, that has to be a logistical nightmare when going somewhere. They do do know how to do her hair. I read an interview with Brad Pitt where he talked about learning how to do the different styles of hair for Zahara and using different types of hair products.

Zahara and Shiloh BOTH look like they just rolled out of bed and Mom or the nanny swiped their hair a few times with a brush and said, “Let’s go. We’re late.” I like that look on little girls and think they’re both incredibly cute. In the photos I’ve seen of them, Zahara looks like a beautiful, outgoing little girl who seems to be very secure, so they’re doing a lot right. If you’re going to be an anti-racist parent, it seems to me that raising a kid without all the baggage about hair and appearances and letting her be free and unselfconscious about her looks at an early age might be a pretty good start. Neither she or her sister should have to worry about getting all dolled up unless they’re going to have their family picture taken or going to some special party or occasion.

Posted 01 Aug 2009 at 10:43 am ¶
calimommi wrote:

@ curlyscales ~ yeah

Posted 01 Aug 2009 at 3:08 pm ¶
A wrote:

I automatically read the article and wanted to know if the woman posting was a Black woman or a White woman

The defensive side of me emerged like a lion…but only lasted for about 5 seconds before it went away and I looked at the picture again and examined why I don’t like how Zahara’s hair looks in the picture.

I wear locs myself and love natural hair, yet I think that Zahara’s hair is dry and matted in the middle of it.

Someone made an excellent point when there were photos floating around of Maddox with his hair obviously groomed– it was so obvious that his mohawk and faux mohawk was groomed because it was pretty neat, and he had blonde streaks in it at one point, which was obviously deliberately done that way. That is grooming.

Zahara’s hair needs some moisture and a boar bristle brush then her curls would not be dry.

The other part of it is that for many years Black women covered up their hair during slavery to avoid appearing sexual to White slaveowners and laws were passed in New Orleans that forbade them to walk around with their hair out or down.

In Black culture, if you are “old school” about hair, you consider it being too grown (or too sexual) to have loose hair.

But with Miss Zahara I personally think that a hair moisturizer and a boar bristle brush would serve her well as she wears her hair loose.

She is too precious to not get the same attention to hair grooming that her brother Maddox gets that seems to be professionally done.

Right now Zahara is little, but when puberty hits, and she doesn’t know how to style her own hair (and has classmates who have that awareness because of generations of women in their family teaching them or because they know what salon to go to to get the styles they want) because all her mama did was wash it and let it loose, she may feel incompetent at styling her own hair.

I think there has to be a balance in one’s perceptions….because even with me and my natural hair and my family history of loving natural hair, there is no reason for Zahara to have to live with dry matted hair in the middle of her head.

A simple brush out and moisturizer wouldn’t take long and she can play. And if it gets messed up, then oh well, no big deal.

But if its left dry and matted, she’s going to associate negative feelings to her hair, especially if it hurts to be combed or brushed because it is dry.

Posted 02 Aug 2009 at 12:34 am ¶
Montclair Mommy wrote:

This article really gave me a new perspective. My first reaction when I saw this photo was to gasp at her hair and show it to my husband (African American). I am the mother of a biracial toddler son and we have decided not to cut his hair just yet (I have done just ONE little trim to even it out on the top). Lately, I won’t lie, it has started to look like Zahara’s before its combed and moisturized, albeit a bit lighter and with a little bit more baby texture fluffiness. My in-laws and my sister-in-law told me the last time we visited that his hair in it “wake up and left it be” state looked dry. I tried a lot of different styling products and, although they do make his hair look very curly and cute and less dry, he screams like I am killing him when I do it. I feel pulled in two different directions. One “side” tells me that to let his hair just be is to fail to groom him properly. I need to at least comb it and moisturize it daily. The other “side” tells me, like this article, that his hair in its natural fluffy curly untamed afro state is beautiful and I shouldn’t make him feel that it needs to be “managed.” I’ll be honest: there are many days when I just can’t face the thought of making him scream and cry just so that he can leave the house with combed and conditioned hair. I feel like when I have to strap him down to do something it can’t possibly be good for his psyche. I worry that the message he is getting from all of this (what must be painful) combing and styling is that his hair is not good enough the way it is. My husband is of the “let it be” school and I often do just that. His point is that I would never torture a white child with curly hair that way, I would just comb it once after a bath and let it be. However, I do feel torn and I want my son to look his best at all times. I really appreciate this article for all of the times when we are just going to the park to play and for all of those days when I just can’t make him cry just so I can feel like a good mommy for giving him a nice hairdo.

I have to say that although he has never been complimented on his hair when its combed and conditioned, he has been complimented on his hair when its totally free and natural. We went to the library the other day without going through the hair combing ritual and the librarian (also Black/mixed race) and another mother (Black) told him they loved his hair. I said, somewhat sheepishly, that he hadn’t let me comb it that day (thinking they were making a statement about its uncombed state) and the librarian said, “Oh you don’t need to! Its so beautiful just the way it is!” The mother chimed in, “Yes, just let it be free and natural. It looks great as it is.” What a wonderful message for my son to get. This was the first time I had ever been exposed to that point of view (other than from my husband, who has shaved his head since early high school and who really doesn’t remember ever having hair). It was so refreshing. Thank you for reinforcing it with this article.

Posted 02 Aug 2009 at 4:11 pm ¶
Susan wrote:

I respectfully disagree. I don’t think grooming your hair, and leaving it free/loose are mutually exclusive.

None of us really know if Angelina grooms Zahara’s hair. Maybe she does.

I have a 4C type hair. the strands have a tight z formation. My hair grows up, never down. Its about 1/2 inch right now. At one point it was about 1 – 1.5 inches. At that time I did my usual grooming, (daily shampoo and leave in conditioner). The hair looked groomed in the morning, but by noon, it looked unkept. If I touched my hair for any reason, I left a dent in it. But I wasn’t about to start combing my hair every2-3 hours. And so I decided to wear it very short.

You can groom your hair and still let it free.
You can groom your hair in the morning, and it might look like you haven’t touched it in days.

Posted 02 Aug 2009 at 6:30 pm ¶
curlyscales wrote:

Ok, I did a bit of surfing just to see if Zahara’s hair “condition” for this particular instance was the norm. Lo & behold, it’s not. Her hair is usually in twists or in two ponytails.

Maybe this day, Zahara begged and pleaded to not have her hair combed or maybe the wind had its’ way with her but I do know that our reaction to the state of a little black girl’s hair shouldn’t be this deep.

My daughter does not want to have her hair combed every single day and neither do I. Sometimes we just want to think about other things.

Posted 02 Aug 2009 at 8:04 pm ¶
Kandeezie wrote:

I just want to know what’s so wrong with dry hair. Are the ends split and damaged? If not, then who cares! That’s how the hair is. Period. Start loving it the way it is.

Posted 02 Aug 2009 at 9:05 pm ¶
Haitian American Family of Three wrote:

I would love to be able to let my daughter out with her hair wild and free like this. However, if I don’t do a fresh style and have her hair perfect (very hard with a 2.5 year old) then we get non-stop negative comments from women walking around Seattle. It frustrates me to no end, since she is a toddler, just a tiny kiddo and should not have to have her hair done every day. As a white women I never, ever thought about black hair before becoming a mom, not once did I look at a persons hair and think “Their hair looks messy or undone” now I am so hyper aware of having “nice” hair its not even funny. I wish the community we live in was more accepting of natural and free hair….and that strangers would not give us such a hard time when my girls hair is in beautiful puffs or braids-she is too young for chemicals and honestly I hope she never wants them anyway. Her hair is curly, thick, nourished, moisturized and sooooo beautiful. I say, those little girls in the photo are both messy, happy, rolled out of bed little kids, just how they should be.

Posted 02 Aug 2009 at 10:35 pm ¶
E wrote:

I’m white with thin limp hair + saw Zahara’s hair + got jealous. I LOVE wild hair that is sculptural naturally, not with gels. Women are extremely lucky if they have this without needing any time to do it. Concerning the hair, if Jolie hasn’t grown up w/ the same stereotypes, she’s can break them and redefine them easily. Reading the comments were interesting – the only other thing I’m adding is that Maddox’s mohawk may have been due to a) he asked for one or b) she didn’t have six kids at that point. I’ve only got 2 kids, + it’s enough time out of my day to have them fed + having fun in a decently clean house to worry about how their hair looks! They tend to put on clothes only when we’re heading out the door. I can’t imagine having to do their hair too, it seems so superfluous and silly, I don’t even do mine.

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 1:47 am ¶
Michelle @ Bridge Co wrote:

There is a difference between Natural hair and hair that just looks like you rolled out of bed and did not attend to it. The former is great, the later is the same as not bathing.

Also there is a difference between a child’s hair and an adult’s hair. The adult has the option to do their hair anyway they want and face the consequences. Kids’ hair that looks unkept, means the parents choose how the kid wore their hair but the child gets teased on the playground, not the parent. It can leave self esteem wounds for life.

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 9:13 am ¶
Julia wrote:

I see a lot of support in the comments for supporting Zahara in loving her hair the way it is, and letting her just be a kid with messy hair sometimes, and not foisting culturally problematic beauty standards on her. I get all of that, I truly do. And I would like to wholeheartedly agree, but here’s what I wonder about:

How will Zahara’s hair (if left as pictured) affect her acceptance by black peers? Their parents? Other black adults in her life (which we hope she has)?

Is there, perhaps, some middle way that involves some conventional styling but without the negative messages attached? Or is it impossible to divorce one from the other?

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 9:14 am ¶
A wrote:

I think that White people do not understand the criticism of the Black community. Even Black parents get criticized on their child’s hair. You learn to have a thick skin and speak up to the person criticizing your child’s hair to your face. Many Black parents I know have stories of friends or family disproving their child having a particular hairstyle or not having their child’s hair plaited up, or boys not having haircuts but long hair. Black people are not cyborg minded unit but a community that has its own diversity in opinion.

Thats why if I state my opinion on hair, I can say I am speaking from personal experience. My hair is even more kinky and curly than Zahara’s hair. I know how it feels to comb your hair when its dry–very very painful–and how it feels to have someone who has straight hair make fun of hair like mine or not understand that by not grooming it daily, makes for painful detangling sessions in the future.

As a child I had my preference on who could comb my hair because not everyone in my family knew how to comb my hair painlessly–and they are all Black. My mother was very good at it and so was a friend of hers, but I stayed away from aunts and school counselors who would try to comb it the same way you comb straight hair and hurt my scalp.

So for me, personally, seeing that photo of Zahara for the first time, I cringed sympathetically for how much it may hurt when its time to detangle her hair. Detangling can be time consuming for some folks. Yet if you don’t detangle or moisturize, the hair breaks off and you end up with a child walking around with clumps of damaged hair on her head, inches long.

Yet all of this stuff I already know because my hair is similar to Zahara’s hair and I’ve had it most of my life.

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 3:27 pm ¶
Haitian American Family of Three wrote:

“I think that White people do not understand the criticism of the Black community. ”

I just want to respond to this and say that most of us DO understand the criticism because we live it daily! Not only do we get comments about haircare, skincare, we also get comments about why we are “bad people” for adopting black children and “stealing them” from the community, along with many, many other comments that have hurt my family deeply. We have learned to defend ourselves and our wonderful Haitian daughter from these strangers comments relating to race, hair and the way she looks (Beautiful).

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 6:29 pm ¶
Yoli wrote:

Zahara has always looked beautiful. Her hair is fine the way it is. I think Jolie is doing just fine with her kids.

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 7:38 pm ¶
B wrote:

It is possible to use the word “nappy” in a non-derogatory way. I’ve been natural for 15 years and refer to my hair as nappy all the time.

When I wear my hair loose and carefree in and Afro or loose twists, it still requires quite a bit of styling to get it to look nice (meaning not flat one one side, matted, or uneven.)

To me, the little girl looks like she rolled put of bed. It’s not the first time either. Growing up the condition of my hair and my self-esteem were closely linked. I imagine it’s that way for other black women too, natural or relaxed.

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 9:31 pm ¶
Jonna wrote:

Yikes! Those poor people! It looks like they yanked the kids from playing the back yard and ran to the store- maybe momma was just going to run and the girls ran out begging to be taken along – and then are dissected and analyzed to death!

So I just happened across this by accident – fascinating! I want to tell about my daughter, many years ago – she of the hair I would have killed for in high school: platinum and silky straight. I am white with Irish kinky bushy hair that, before it went all gray, used to curl if it felt like it, was cut just right and all the stars were aligned. (Talk about hating your hopelessly unmanageable hair!)

We had Ethiopian neighbors when Miss Platinum was around 5 and in the summertime, the mom would brush out the girls’ hair out on the stoop. Miss P always loved to watch. She would sit with a look of amazement and adoration on her face as her friends’ hair grew into a black cloud around their heads. Oh, how she loved their Ethiopian hair! I’ve often wondered if it was because of hair that she only had two white friends before middle school – and they both had very black hair. There was even a little Chinese girl who used to torment her. I asked why she continued to play with this girl who was so mean to her and she responded, “I like her hair.” (She was only 4 then but , she’s still a little shallow.)

The only thing that would concern me about hair like Zahara’s is potential tangling and whether not combing it every day several times would cause painful tangles. Before she was 3 Miss P’s hair had a texture not unlike a feather boa and even a nap on a hot day, laying on her back, could leave her hair painfully tangled.

She’s a beautiful little girl however her hair is.

Posted 03 Aug 2009 at 9:59 pm ¶
Kristen wrote:

I’m surprised by the reactions here because I think most of us, with children who have a hair texture like Zahara’s, have had a day where our child’s hair has looked like this. Even on the best day, when hair has been combed out and moisturized, it can look dry by the afternoon! It doesn’t mean dirty or ungroomed. A little rough-and-tumble play, a swim in the beach, or an early morning . . . haven’t we all been there? Especially if parents are choosing not to use a grease-based product. I agree with the sentiment that we should be more accepting of hair in it’s natural state, and less critical of parents who are choosing it. Personally I am really pleased to see a little girl with beautiful, natural hair instead of a weave or a relaxed hairstyle, which seems to be the norm (and the reason for so many gasps when we see a child with natural hair).

Posted 04 Aug 2009 at 2:59 am ¶
A wrote:

I can’t believe I didn’t say this! I could just smack myself for forgetting.

I would not be as critical about Zahara’s hair if Angelina did not look like she spent more time on her hair and appearance than she did the 2 girls’ hair.

I still think Zahara’s hair is matted in the middle of it.

I know as a mom, I’ve had my days where I was exhausted, and usually it was me who looked a mess, not my child.

And in the case my child looked a mess, then I better look like a mess too, then that would make sense.

The photo doesn’t make sense to me.

An impeccably groomed mama and a five minute brushing and moisturizing session missed on the girls doesn’t make sense to me.

Posted 04 Aug 2009 at 5:57 pm ¶
Kristen wrote:

You know, A, you make a good point! Any time my kids look unkempt, I look much, much worse. And usually they look great and I still look a hot mess!

Posted 05 Aug 2009 at 11:50 pm ¶
Cecelia wrote:

This child is happy. Leave her alone. She is beautiful and her hair is beautiful. The negative mind-set of the bloggers are clearly not a part of the progressive wave of multicultural and other progressive minded families. Children are a product of the mind-set they are raised in. If children are raised to think that they are beautiful (intelligent, compassionate etc..) and that being different is great and “normal” then they will love themselves. Leave Angelina and other multi-racial families be. If you don’t like it, then you chose for yourself not to do it, but you do not own Zahara or any other ethnic child that is in a non-ethnic family and you have no right to criticize! Love and Peace to all

Posted 06 Aug 2009 at 8:32 am ¶
Nentuaby wrote:

My two thoughts (directed at the complainers, not the post):
1) Hell, people, how old is that kid? Why in the world are you criticizing the aesthetics of a small child, no matter what they are?
2) It’s telling that the other child’s hair is getting pretty wild too, but everyone zoomed straight in on the black kid.

Posted 06 Aug 2009 at 7:35 pm ¶
Ann wrote:

Actually, I wear my hair like Angelina’s all the time and that hair-do takes about a minute and a half, which is all the time I usually have in my house. And I have a daughter with very silky hair that no matter how much I style it and spray it she will bounce out a pony-tail in less time than that. But I will agree with the above poster that both girls look mussed but no one seems to care about Shiloh (can’t believe I know her name). LOL

Posted 07 Aug 2009 at 4:16 am ¶
Celeste wrote:

@ Haitian-American: Well, I salute you for adopting Haitian children. You’re parenting, not stealing.

Posted 07 Aug 2009 at 9:42 am ¶
Anne wrote:

I feel a bit ignorant… I didn’t notice anybody’s hair in the photo. They all look great. Their hair looks great. I had no idea there was so much judgment around how black women and girls wear their hair (I’m a white woman). That makes me sad.

I did read the linked posts to the other opinion pieces about Angelina Jolie, and wow, you are certainly no fan. But I thought you were rather unfair: it’s not her fault that society is racist. It’s not her fault that the photographer chose to photograph her and her gang dressed in white, or that the photographer chose to have the new sister pose with the older sister: I would think that decision is about the fact that they are genetically related and the public (those who care) was waiting to see the family resemblances to one another and to the parents, who are considered to be such good-looking people.

There are far, far more deserving targets for criticism about racism and whiteness being the norm than this bunch.

Jolie’s no superhero, but she gives a lot of her money to charitable causes internationally. I always got the impression that this couple at least had the decency to be embarrassed by how much money they make because they know that it’s grossly out of proportion to what they do, compared to everyone else in the world.

Interesting stuff, anyway.

Posted 11 Aug 2009 at 12:56 pm ¶
Lori wrote:

I am a white woman.

Watching Zahara grow, I’ve been thinking that in such a family of beautiful people, she’s lucky that she’s gorgeous too!

Look at that face. I was too busy admiring her face to notice her hair.

Posted 13 Aug 2009 at 4:47 pm ¶
Tarwana Lowe-West wrote:

Ok, stop it! I am a mother AND grandmother. I am 45 years old. I am African-American. Three of my grandchildren are bi-racial so I think I know a little bit about hair… There is NOTHING wrong with Zahara’s hair. The problem is it hasn’t been done. It cannot “flow free”. It can only stick up all over her head as the picture shows. I have all confidence that Brad and Angie love this little girl to pieces. She will undoubtedly become a beautiful, well-rounded, well educated, socially conscious woman. However in this picture she is not “well coiffed”. True, it’s not the first time she has been photographed this way. It probably won’t be the last. It will continue to be offensive to sensitive black women who have struggled with the acceptance of beauty. It’s interesting that most of the women defending Angelina don’t have “kinky hair”. I applaud Angelina for being the loving attentive mother that she obviously is. I’m just saying “Girl, comb that baby’s hair!”……..

Posted 14 Aug 2009 at 7:41 pm ¶
A wrote:

I’m chuckling because I am a part of a multi-racial family myself even though I’m a Black woman with natural hair. ITA Tarwana Lowe-West.

Posted 15 Aug 2009 at 4:06 pm ¶
marilee wrote:

The thing that annoys me is someone obviously attempted to groom Shiloh’s hair, albeit less than perfectly. Zahara looks as though no one cared enough to even try.

If Shiloh were walking around with her hair completely uncombed, then that would show Jolie parents them equally. She clearly spends more effort on the white child. That is wrong.

Posted 18 Aug 2009 at 10:55 am ¶
hafidha sofia wrote:

The comments here make me sad. I have a 10 month old and sometimes when we go out her hair is a mess because by the time we get in/out of the car-seat and to wherever we’re going, she’s taken a nap and smooshed up her ‘do – or she’s tugged at her hair bows and it just all comes loose.

So nobody knows what the circumstances were for this picture – for all we know they were headed to someplace to GET Zahara’s hair done.

And for Pete’s sake: the girl has the REST OF HER LIFE to worry about her hair and pleasing other people. Why is a TODDLER’S “hair style” be relevant?!?!?!

Posted 20 Aug 2009 at 11:55 am ¶
Danielle wrote:

the issue for me about Angelina and Brad’s grooming of Zahara is that they don’t appear to understand 1) that curly hair requires moisture 2) that you shouldn’t brush dry curly hair because it turns into fluffand 3) that happy hair is related to happy self-esteem.

they may actually be trying or doing research. it took me 25 years to figure out how to care for my own coily head of hair.

it’s just sad to watch the journey.

Posted 20 Aug 2009 at 10:03 pm ¶
Kristen wrote:

Oh my gosh, seriously with the judgement! I would HATE to think that a random and candid photo of myself with my kids could be put up to such scrutiny. To make assumptions about this mom’s preference for her children or understanding about hair based on a photo . . .? This is not Zahara’s best hair day, and that is all the photo tells us. Shiloh’s hair looks exactly like my blonde daughter’s would if she rolled out of bed. Let’s not jump to nasty conclusions that Angelina is completely ignorant or uncaring just because she didn’t have a wet brushing session one morning. As a mom, I find this kind of judging and mind-reading of other moms really frustrating.

Posted 22 Aug 2009 at 3:27 am ¶
n wrote:

natural black hair that looks “dry” is ok, thats just how it looks

Posted 24 Aug 2009 at 11:12 pm ¶
urban suburbanite wrote:

I know that I am late to the party, and that we are talking about hair. I agree with the posters who said that Shiloh looked equally unkept.

The fact that Shiloh is wearing camouflage pants and a harry potter scarf tied around her waist, shows that Angelina and Brad are allowing the kids to be free spirits much like themselves.

Posted 01 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm ¶