Open thread

3 Responses to Open thread

1. Kristen says:

   August 6, 2009 at 5:28 pm

   Well, since we’re talking hair . . .

   I have my teen/tween nephews visiting me for a few weeks over the summer. They are AA, age 12 and 15. I am very pro natural hair, in part from discussions here and elsewhere. They arrived a few days ago, and both are growing their hair out and have “hair texturizer” kits with them. They pulled them out with the intent to use them today. I read the label and the kits are full of harsh chemicals with warnings about burning the scalp. I told them I would prefer them to do this at home, with their parents, and that I was concerned about the toxic ingredients.

   I’m wondering, though, if I should take this opportunity to talk to them about the bigger issues of hair, and give them an encouragement to keep it natural and love the hair God gave them. If it were my own children, I would definitely have that talk. But they aren’t my kids . . . and their dad uses this kind of stuff on his hair, so I don’t want to seem critical of his choices. But at the same time, I ‘m bummed to see them feeling like they need to chemically relax their hair if it gets to be longer than a quarter inch, you know?

   What is my place as an aunt? What would you do?
2. calimommy says:

   August 6, 2009 at 11:33 pm

   It would be a wonderful memory maker to take them to a salon that celebrates natural hair but if they want something other than their usual ~ like braids or twists ~ be sure to OK it with mom & dad first.
3. Lyonside says:

   August 7, 2009 at 8:25 am

   The first thing I’d do if I had younger minor relatives staying w/ me who wanted to do something “new” to themselves is make sure their parents were OK with it. I mean, even though their dad processes his hair doesn’t mean he’ll want his teen and tweenager to do it right now. This might be akin to a kid getting their nose pierced or hair dyed while staying w/ a relative to “get away with it”, without asking for parental permission.

   Then if their parents are OK with it, you can at least bring it up in a casual way before they do it – why do they want to do it, what do they expect from other people, etc. and go based on their answers.

   If the kids just want to try something different, you can support that. If they voice any negatives about hair (natural hair is unattractive, girls won’t like them without processing their hair) you can try to address and correct that. HAVE EXAMPLES READY of African-american men who keep their hair natural. Kids that age won’t believe you without proof.

   If they voice something more personal, along the lines of “I’m not nice-looking without it” that sounds more like a self-esteem issue which can also be positively reinforced.

   If they’re bound and determined, then make sure that they know how long it will last, the risks of chemical damage to hair, what will happen when they go swimming (if anything – depends on the treatment, etc.).

   Whether they do it in your house is your decision – your house, your rules. You can always say, “Hey, guys, save that for home – since your dad uses it, maybe he can help you apply it – I’m not sure I’d be the greatest help, and anyway I love your hair the way it is.”

   Good luck!