The Myopia of Privilege

[Editor’s note: Last week, while folks here on Anti-Racist Parent were discussing Renee’s compelling post on Zahara Jolie-Pitt’s hair, some of us behind the scenes were talking about a recent Atlanta Journal-Constitution article that also raised issues of beauty standards and norms surrounding black hair. Below, is another installment of a multi-part discussion of the piece and black hair politics.]

 written by Anti-Racist Parent contributor Julia of Nobody Asked You

In a bizarrely topsy-turvy take on post-racial America, Michelle Hiskey appears oblivious to the possibility that her audience for her piece “Perfect braids show depth of dad’s devotion,” may include people of color. (And this is the Atlanta Journal Constitution we’re talking about here.) She further assumes–which is ironic, given the article’s focus on transracial parenting–that her white audience knows nothing about black hair care. In fact, I suspect that Hinskey is guilty of a common, though problematic tendency in conversations about race: conceiving of white and black as polarized monoliths, and assuming that her experience is representative of all white experience. Thus projecting her own ignorance onto her audience, she leads us through a rather laborious guided tour of one family’s version of black hair care. And so we are treated to facts that are supposed to be news to us (presented in problematic language, as Tami has already pointed out so clearly): that black hair will become dry if shampooed as frequently as white hair, that black hair is fragile and breaks easily, that black hair may take longer to rinse than white hair, and that particular products exist (also oddly described and exoticised) for styling black hair. None of this–I’d be willing to bet–is news to any of the Atlanta Constitution’s black readers. Nor is this news to most white parents of brown children. And for those white readers for whom these facts are news, what, exactly, do they contribute to the story except for a sense that black hair is an exotic animal that requires involved and mysterious care and feeding? But more than that, what are we to think of an article that so blatantly fails to consider a significant portion of its audience? What should we think of an article that neglects to include even a single phrase, like “as mothers of black children know. . . ,” for example, that would at least attempt to include the Constitution’s readership of color? What should we think of an article that is incredibly myopic in a way only those who hold white privilege can be?
 
I’m not going to answer these questions–at least, not right now–because I have more to say about myopia and privilege. Another thing that I find extraordinary about this piece is the way it elevates a mundane act of caregiving to the remarkable. A parent doing his child’s hair becomes newsworthy because the parent is white and the child is black. (Patriarchy, of course, plays a role here, too, with the hair care becoming doubly newsworthy because the parent is a white male, but my focus here is race.) One imagines that, as Hiskey observed Green braiding his daughter’s hair, black adults all over Atlanta were combing, parting, braiding, and twisting the hair of black little girls, producing styles as “perfect” as Green’s.  These mothers, grandmothers, aunts, fathers, and cousins, however, are conspicuously absent from this story because Hiskey–in her white priveleged myopia–does not see them. Or, perhaps, she believes (as, apparently, her editor did) that a black adult doing a black child’s hair is not newsworthy. She may be right. And this should make us very sad, because it so clearly delineates the ways in which whiteness privileges and blackness devalues. For, why wouldn’t a black mother doing a black child’s hair be newsworthy when a white father doing a black child’s hair is? One answer, I fear, is that black children are valued in this country only when they have white parents. Another is that a white parent, in caring for a black child, is understood to be doing a charitable act by offering the same care he would to a biological (white) child to a child that is understood as lesser, either because of the child’s race or her “orphan status” that preceded her adoption. (Note: I don’t see any evidence that Green holds these views.)
 


I have leveled my criticism so far at Hiskey and the ugly, nearsighted, and–let’s be honest here–all too common perspective that she represents. I reserve, though, a question for Green: What responsibility does Green hold in the production of this article and its perpetuation of racist and white privileged notions? The easy answer is that Green could not have forseen how Hiskey would represent his care for his daughter. In fact, it’s probably fair to say that Green believed he was telling a love story; he wants his children to feel as his father made him feel–”as if he had hung the moon.”  Fair enough; I do not fault Green’s intentions. I can’t dismiss, though, the gnawing sense that he should have been more wary of the reporter’s advances, alive to the possibility that his privilege was the principle attraction, that he would be cast as hero while hundreds of black adults combed and braided away with as much devotion but without similar recognition. And that raises questions for all white parents of brown children, especially those of us who strive to be anti-racist: How do we become unwittingly involved in perpetuating privilege and racism? How can we do better?

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Comments

  1. meera wrote:

    There is a gender privilege issue here as well – how many white mothers of black children are lauded for a simple task like combing a daughter’s hair? My guess is more than black mothers, less than white fathers. Long way to go still in unpacking these hierarchies of oppression.

  2. Andrea wrote:

    Judging by the date on the story, this was a Father’s Day story. As a news reporter, I’d have been happy to interview this father too. It’s an interesting story because it’s somewhat unique — a father doing his daughter’s hair, a white man learning how to do unfamiliar hair styles, an adoptive father with a child from Ethiopia. He was interviewed because he was an unusual sort of father who was doing an unusual thing and people probably were very interested in the story and the pictures. I’d have been thrilled to have this kind of subject matter a couple of months ago.

    The audience the reporter was writing for and the language she chose might be a little questionable. I’m assuming there are more black readers of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and many more people familiar with the hairstyles she’s writing about than there would be if I were writing for my paper. Maybe an editor should have taken a closer look at how the story was written and ask more questions. It could be that there aren’t any black editors or reporters in the newsroom or other people who could say, “How is this going to come across to some of our readers?” which might have contributed to what some feel is a problem with the piece. On the other hand, it’s more than likely that a large part of the audience does NOT know anything about black haircare and finds its description interesting. How to balance the information for readers in the know and those who don’t know is always a big question for me.

    This probably was not a story written solely for black readers or parents who have adopted transracially. It’s a general interest feature. I generally try to explain a subject simply for the benefit of those who don’t know. We can debate whether any of this should be unusual or unique, but it’s usually a mom who does the child’s hair.

    A black mother or aunt doing different hairstyles would be an interesting feature story for a different day, maybe for the lifestyles section or the fashion page. I’d be surprised if other papers in the area have not done some of those stories.

  3. Anonymous wrote:

    Meera,
    To be sure. Lots of unpacking to do.

    Andrea,
    Thanks for your thoughts. I’d like to respond to two of them:

    You wrote:
    “He was interviewed because he was an unusual sort of father who was doing an unusual thing”

    I’m just not sure I agree. Of course it’s more unusual for a father to do hair than a mother, but otherwise I’m not sure about the “unusualness”. As the white adoptive mother of a child originally from Ethiopia, I can say that I do not feel unusual. Nor do I feel it is unusual when I undertake to learn more about caring for his hair etc. I feel like I’m parenting–the hair care etc is all just part of the parenting package. I certainly don’t feel like I merit a news story. (None of that is to say that I don’t feel conspicuous, sometimes uncomfortable, and sometimes out-of-place when I am out in public with my son, but that’s a completely different matter to my mind.)

    You wrote:
    “A black mother or aunt doing different hairstyles would be an interesting feature story for a different day, maybe for the lifestyles section or the fashion page. I’d be surprised if other papers in the area have not done some of those stories.”

    Perhaps this is just my cynicism speaking but I would be surprised if papers HAVE done such stories. (Although this is a case in which I would be happy to be proven wrong.)

  4. A wrote:

    My perspective is that (Just for clarity’s sakes, I am a Black woman) many Black mothers I know who read the article liked the article. Why? Because it was a positive lenses to transracial adoption that hinted that White parents do and can take good care of their Black children’s hair, just as we have been.

    Haircare is normally done by women, usually done by women. How many dads of any race comb their child’s hair daily? In my world, not many do.

    At the same time, I don’t for a minute think that Black people (in general) want approval or praise from White people on how we have taken care of our children’s hair for generations.

    Yet a number of White mothers of Black children have anxiety about how they are combing and styling their child’s hair…especially if their child’s hair is different from their own in texture.

    I saw the article as a father who was proud of his work at taking care of his daughter’s hair. And a Father’s Day issue that honored that bond.

    I am glad that the dad dared to create that bond that many children form with their parents combing their hair. I am glad he dared be her parent and do what needed to be done for her hair. The daughter looked happy with her hairstyle and looked like she felt happy and pretty with her new hairstyle.

    Julia, I think your article overintellectualizes and disrespects their parent-child relationship simply because the dad is White and the daughter is Black and because the dad is also male.

    While I agree that we should examine White privilege and race when we attempt to dismantle racism and gender privilege, I disagree with you on the main point you make in your article.

    It made it seem like the dad’s Whiteness is what was reminding you of White privilege, when the dad did not set the tone of the article, but Hiskey does because it is *her* article.

    I believe Green was proud of the work he did in caring for his daughter’s hair and wanted to show that aspect of their father-daughter bond in the Father’s Day article. He was engaging with his daughter in something that is cherished in African American culture, combing her hair and styling it and bonding with her by doing this.

    As an adoptive parent, I understand why bonding is such a big deal for a child who came from another family, lost that family then comes to join your family. The bonding experience is for the child’s benefit and is so precious to you as a parent who adopted this child, that something as simple as a hair-combing session is a rite of passage for you and for your child.

    As a child I had some deep conversations with my parents that I would not have brought up for discussion at any other time…there is something about your parent taking time to comb your hair and the silence that allows your deepest thoughts to emerge. My very first conversation about race was at the feet of my mother combing my hair.
    It is a bond we will always, because we shared that experience together.

    I feel that the details of how he carefully combed her hair mattered alot to me and touched me, because I know how the opposite can create negative memories in children. Little Black children have hated their hair because their mother or father did not know how to comb it, and it hurt when they combed it, or because their mother or father was angry and hated their type of hair and combed angrily. I have known children like this most of my life who dreamed and prayed for straight hair like White people, long flowing blonde hair that doesn’t hurt when it is combed.

    So for me, in reading the article, as a Black woman, I got it.

    Whereas my own experience was positive, the same care the father took in combing his daughter’s hair is the same care my mother took in combing mine.

    The author of the article is the one responsible for how the article is worded (Hiskey), but the father simply combed his child’s hair and left her feeling like her hairstyle was pretty.

  5. Meghan wrote:

    If there is going to be an “ethnography of black hair” I suggest we work with the cultural experts on this issue – and those with deep cultural competenty present the rituals and practices of hair cair for people of color. Um….a white dad doesn’t qualify, no matter how “sweet” the story. He might make a nice side-bar to de-mystify the process for white parents of brown children. TY to “nobody asked you” for her thoughtful discussion.

  6. Julia wrote:

    First off, apologies for mistakenly posting anonymously. That’s me up there responding to Meera and Andrea.

    A,
    Thanks for your thoughtful response.

    I suspect that we actually agree more that you think we do, but perhaps my writing was not clear on several points.

    I agree with you that this sort of portrayal is important:
    “Because it was a positive lenses to transracial adoption that hinted that White parents do and can take good care of their Black children’s hair, just as we have been.” I’m just not sure–for reasons I noted in my article–that this is the best way to do that.

    And I agree that this is very salient. : “Yet a number of White mothers of Black children have anxiety about how they are combing and styling their child’s hair…especially if their child’s hair is different from their own in texture.” I have talked about this sense of anxiety on my blog and I think it goes with the territory of transracial parenting.”

    And we also agree here: “At the same time, I don’t for a minute think that Black people (in general) want approval or praise from White people on how we have taken care of our children’s hair for generations.” I hope that you don’t think that I implied otherwise.

    As for this comment, I think we have a misunderstanding:
    “It made it seem like the dad’s Whiteness is what was reminding you of White privilege, when the dad did not set the tone of the article, but Hiskey does because it is *her* article.”

    I think I state fairly clearly–but perhaps not clearly enough–that I hold Hiskey responsible for the problems in this article. The only question I laid at the feet of the father–which I’m not sure any of us white APs have a confident answer to–had to do with his agreement to do the article, when it seems to me that it was the race of father and daughter that made the article “newsworthy.” I do not fault the father for the article, but I do think we need to consider unwitting complicity…

    Finally, I really appreciate your perspective in these comments and I can see how they would lead you to a more positive sense of the article:

    “He was engaging with his daughter in something that is cherished in African American culture, combing her hair and styling it and bonding with her by doing this.”

    “As a child I had some deep conversations with my parents that I would not have brought up for discussion at any other time…there is something about your parent taking time to comb your hair and the silence that allows your deepest thoughts to emerge. My very first conversation about race was at the feet of my mother combing my hair.
    It is a bond we will always, because we shared that experience together.”

    Definitely some things for me to think about in relation to this piece.

  7. Andrea wrote:

    Anonymous, I’m reacting to the story as a news reporter who’s written similar stories and to what I and my editors would judge newsworthy. The “news peg” here is Father’s Day, so the story was about a father. It probably wouldn’t be done any other time of the year. It also had to be unusual enough to be newsworthy. Around Father’s Day and Mother’s Day we usually look for someone who is a little out of the ordinary, so there are a lot of stories about foster mothers who have taken care of 50 children over their lifetimes or a dad taking care of children while his wife is in Iraq or like this one, the white adoptive dad learning how to do an Ethiopian daughter’s hair. You may not feel particularly unusual as a parent, but what is normal to you is of interest to a lot of people because it’s not typical to adopt from a foreign country or for a white dad to do the hair instead of the mother.

    I’ve done a number of stories about adoption over the years and the ones I have done are not typically domestic adoptions of infants because they’re more typical. I wrote about a couple in their late forties who married late and adopted a 4-year-old from the foster care system; I did a story about another older couple who adopted an 11-year-old boy who gave his dad so much trouble at first that his dad had to physically restrain him from destroying a wooden desk. He had a lot of other problems related to a chaotic family background but eventually settled down and is now speaking to organizations about older child adoption. I’ve written about locals who adopted from China and Guatemala and about a single white parent who adopted two black girls in a private adoption.

    I’ve learned to be fairly careful about the type of language I use in writing those pieces because I got dinged a few times about word choice when I was very young and just starting to write about issues of race and disability and didn’t know any better. With the story about the 11-year-old, I called the parents and read back portions of the story to make sure they were worded correctly. I doubt I would have used quite the same language this reporter did in her piece. because when I was a young reporter I got dinged a few times about word choice. I learned better. One of the reasons I read this forum is so that I do get a better idea of what people think about certain issues and I can maybe do a better job of reporting if I ever have to cover the topic. Even when I don’t agree, at least I know what the issues are.

    I wonder how young this reporter is. I like her story, but if I’d been her editor I might have tweaked it a little bit.

  8. Julia wrote:

    All:

    In some ways, I think we are getting wrapped up in particulars and missing the point. I guess it seems to me that this article represents a sense some of us have about how various things–black hair, blackness, transracial parenting, to name a few–play out in society. In that way, it’s true that some of my criticisms and those of other authors in the roundtable are directed at what the article represents rather than the article itself. I wish we could start the discussion there…

    That is, instead of debating whether the author/paper/editor etc should have done something different, I’d like to talk about whether black children are generally valued more (or receive more positive attention) when they have a white parent. I’d like to talk about whether white parents of brown children get more recognition for their parenting than brown parents of black children. I’d like to talk about the ethical responsibility of white parents of brown children when their parenting is being praised, perhaps unnecessarily. I’d like to talk about how brown people, in general, are far less visible in positive media stories than white people. I’d like to talk about our obligations as anti-racist parents in this context. And that’s just for a start…

  9. Andrea wrote:

    Julia, obviously, all of the above are valid concerns. I’m not a parent, so I can’t speak to your obligations, but no ethical news reporter would interview you or be able to write about you if you said, “No thank you” to a feature story like this. Most reporters, including me, would also not allow you to see a story prior to its going into print, so you (and the guy in the story being discussed) would not have had any control over how the story was written. You’d have to decide based on the subject matter of the story and your own comfort level with the reporter and the publication.

    One of the things that I learned in journalism classes years ago now was to balance out a story and get a good cross-section of the population when I interviewed people — a balance of the sexes, a balance of ages, different opinions, race when appropriate. That’s harder to do when I cover a population that is overwhelmingly white with a fairly significant American Indian population, but we do run a lot of positive stories on American Indians. When I was at the state fair and taking photos of the goings on, I made a point of trying to get some diversity in the photos — the black man and white woman walking hand in hand down the midway, the crowd of Indian, black and white kids on the merry-go-round, etc. along with the majority white crowd. Anyone who has a journalism degree would have learned to do similar things.

    I will say that when I did that about 10 years ago and ran a photo of a black child with white kids in a classroom, we got a letter from the ultra-white nationalist wacko in a tiny little town in our reading area complaining that we shouldn’t run a black child’s photo in our “white state.” We ran the letter, followed up with an editorial condemning the guy, and a story about the struggling single mom and her kids and how they’d moved to this area from the South and were doing their very best to adapt to our town, etc. I can’t imagine any of the attention was welcome to the poor woman or her kids in retrospect, but that was the editor’s call. I believe she got some help from the community and a lot of apologies and she also had the option of saying no to being interviewed and having her kids featured in the paper, but didn’t.

    I don’t know that black kids with white parents are necessarily more valued by the community or the society at large. It probably also depends on class and the reputation of the parents as well as the way the kid looks and acts in school and a lot of other variants. A smart, good-looking athlete is going to be admired regardless of who his parents are and will be dealing with some racism regardless of who his parents are. When he’s not with his parents, he’s just another black kid, too, with all that means in this society.

  10. A2 wrote:

    Julia, can you please give some history about yourself? I enjoy reading the bios of the authors, and I don’t see a Columnist Intro for you anywhere on the site, as there is for some of the other columists. Thanks!

  11. Julia wrote:

    Andrea,
    I apologize if I gave the impression if I appeared to dismiss your concerns as invalid. I appreciate your perspective.

    A2,
    Thanks for your interest. I don’t have a bio here or elsewhere, and that’s partly happenstance and partly my own reticence. I’d say that my blog is the best way to get a better sense of me.

  12. Mama wrote:

    I’m a white mom to two girls, one white and one black. Like it or not, dads aren’t exactly socialized to groom little girl hair – after all, we were the ones who grew up combing out doll hair, do you remember those large barbie heads we used to curl and style? Anyway, when I returned to work from family/maternity leave with my adopted younger (AA) daughter, I started taking my older (white) dd to daycare again, and the first thing her teacher said was “oh we could tell you started doing her hair again!” And older dd has that straight, blonde, baby fine hair that is supposedly so easy to take care of!

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