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Love Isn't Enough is a blog about parenting and race.
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Recently at work a fellow employee accused several people of racism and it was while becoming publicly unhinged (cursing, screaming, crying, then locking herself in her office where she did more of the same). If I had not been so close to this situation, I’m sure I would have heard the story and thought, “There was likely some racism going on”. But I do know the details, I know the people, and I think she is wrong. I don’t think racism has happened. This is unusual for me – I usually see racism all over the place.
It was very hard for me to come to the personal conclusion that her claims were unfounded. When I hear a claim of racism, my default reaction is to believe it. I feel as though I’m betraying the fight against racism to hear this claim & determine it to be inaccurate. But I do. She’s shown herself to have mental health issues (this is our field, I’m not just a layman calling her crazy) and I think that, coupled with her previous experiences that HAVE been racist, have caused her to see these circumstances with “racism” colored glasses. To be clear, I’m not trying to liken thinking something is racist to mental instability – it is her particular instability that causes her to fixate on certain things, and I’ve seen her do it many times in many ways. I know that sort of perspective is one of the by-products of being a lifelong victim of racism – having to always examine things to determine whether they really are or aren’t racist, whether that person was just being a jerk, or were they being a RACIST jerk?
So now her career is damaged, she is gone and I have no idea if she will get the help she needs.
R, your sensitivity and discernment comes through very clearly. I think that you well serve the fight against racism by debunking racists’ favorite myth — that anti-racists see racism in everything. I think it’s important to affirm the reality of racism while concluding that racism isn’t at play in a particular situation. If you have the woman’s contact information it would be nice, if you want, to let her know you’re available as a friendly associate or to (if you feel comfortable) gently suggest mental health treatment. It sounds like your office is lucky to have such a kind person in the workplace.