What are you thinking about today?
If you happen to be thinking about our new blog name–Love Isn’t Enough–I want to let you know that Carmen and I hear you. We know that some folks are concerned that parents seeking resources may not be able to find us or that the name signals a change in focus to only international/transracial adoption or that it reflects a watering down of our site’s mission or message.
We want to assure you that these things aren’t true. But we also realize that our community here is full of really smart and thoughtful people, and we would be smart to listen to your concerns. What you think is important to us. We also know that change is hard. Several of you have mentioned how perfect Racialicious is as a name for our sister blog, but Carmen tells me when that name was debuted, many people hated it…vehemently.
We just ask everyone to give the new name a little time. Pay attention to the content and the community. We think you’ll find that it only improves, and we will remain as committed to anti-racism parenting as we always were. No watering down here. We promise. Meanwhile, we’ll be paying attention to the traffic here, making sure that new readers can find us and that those readers follow our community guidelines and that we continue to offer content for anti-racist parents of all colors.
Give it time. We promise to reconsider the new name and whether it is serving us well in the new year.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the new name, and I have to chime in with those who don’t like it. While your intent may be perfectly clear in your minds, at first glance the title says nothing at all about race, and even “raising a family in a colorstruck world” doesn’t do it directly.
“Anti-racist Parent” made it perfectly clear, without anyone reading a single word more what this blog is all about-which I’d think would be your goal-to draw in readers without their needing a tutorial about its intent.
As an experiment the other day, I did a Yahoo search for “anti-racist parent blog” and this one, with its new name, came up 3rd. First was “antiracistwhiteparents”. Now if third is ok with you, then great. But The REASON it was third, I believe, is that words “anti-racist” do not appear anywhere in the title or subtitle.
So I do hope you change it back, though you seem convinced you’ve got a better title now. I’ll keep reading of course-no name change would drive me away, but I wonder if you’ll see a drop in attracting new readers?
Agibean- I also don’t like how the new name change makes the purpose of the site less explicit.
I feel like people might come here and start commenting away without understanding like our house rules. I know that Tami has been very on top of this, with the new moderation policy and everything. Which is great, and much appreciated.
I doubt many people find this site through a google search for “anti-racist parent” though. So that is not a huge concern of mine.
Another thing that kind of bugs me is that I KNOW I took the survey, AND (although I am kicking myself for it now) I am pretty sure that probably my only negative comment about ARP was that it seemed to have too much of a focus on transracial adoption, and we are not all white adoptive parents. So, clearly, there were several people who made comments like that. And this has been used as a justification for the name change, BUT I am kind of confused as to how this step away from openly acknowledging racism reflects the diversity of the parents who visit this site.
I have noticed fewer articles about adoption here.
And to be fair, we are probably a tough audience… although I don’t really feel “vehement” about this, just opinionated.
The new name sounds more oblique, and I preferred anti racist parent, but it doesn’t bother me. As always, what I find most useful are good self-education resources, and good anti-racist parent/family models. Also, is there a reason that there’s so much focus here on prejudices based on appearances (skin color, hair texture, etc.)?
It seems like one of the main reasons for the name change was that some parents of color may not have been able to relate to the term “anti-racist parent” because dealing with race is something that we have to do every day. (I’m paraphrasing this from Carmen’s recent post.) I agree with this sentiment but I think the name “Love Isn’t Enough” is even more problematic, and potentially alienating, in this respect. For POC we already know that we have to prepare our children to navigate a world where they will not have the benefit of white privilege. We already know that love isn’t enough. But in my parenting, I want to not only help my biracial daughter cope with these realities but I want her to grow up with the tools to actually work to dismantle racism as an institution. I think that “Anti-racist parent” captures this intent more completely. But if the mission of the site is just to deal with “race and parenting”, then I guess I have no complaints.
I preferred ARP. I think with the tagline “on raising a family in a colorstruck world” is helpful, but still doesn’t really make it as absolutely clear as the old name did.
It is clear to you, the folks who run the site, and us, the readers who have been following from when it was still ARP, but I’m not quite sure that “new” folks will quite get it, especially coming in off of a search.
Quite frankly, I don’t remember how I found this blog in the first place.
I DO like the current logo
I have not been thinking about thre name, ihave been thinknig about the man who last night told me his stomach is sick bc by 2023 there will be less white children than any other race. that made my stomach sick.
I am having trouble falling in love with this name. My difficulty is that this phrase already has a conceptual definition used by many individuals involved in parenting an adopted child — a definition that doesn’t have anything to do with race. My oldest child came into my heart when she was 7-years-old. I legally adopted her when she was 9. She had been in foster care for several years prior to moving into my home. She has fetal alcohol syndrome. She has numerous behavioral challenges. Since adopting her I have heard/read many “experts” in parenting a child with a behavior disorder, particularly those speaking about Reactive Attachment Disorder, who use this phrase when talking to parents — love is not enough to “fix” these kids. I have been turned off by these expert on many occasions. In my opinion, they speak of the children in negative terms; they present them a soul-less or as having no conscience. So, I dislike the name; it was already something that creates an immediate, visceral negative response.
You guys are awesome. I’m not a huge fan of the new name, but I’m so pleased with this entry and your thoughtfulness in sharing your decisions with us. Thanks.
Hmmm? I’ll admit I just rolled with the change. You can probably alter your position in the search engines with the information in you tag line header of your html.
It’s rare that the title opens or closes or door in my search/read activities. I understand the complaints, but agree that time may be all everyone needs.
I understand the problems with the original name, but thought I’d mention I’m not crazy about the new name for a couple reasons:
- I’d prefer something positive, rather than negative. I agree “love isn’t enough.” So the site is *not* about simply being a loving parent. I’d prefer a name that indicates what the site *is* about.
-I agree with Julie that the phrase will be recognized by adoptive parents who’ve done any reading or attended trainings as having a certain meaning, although I don’t see it as negatively as Julie does. (e.g., when I’ve heard it used, the sense I’ve gotten is that for positive identity development and for the well-being of the family, adoptive paernts need to acknowledge the adoption, they shouldn’t just think love is enough and ignore it the way “colorblind” individuals pretend race doesn’t matter).
- “Love isn’t enough” doesn’t roll off the tongue. And why not “Love is not enough” or “Love’s not enough?” (OK, a really nit-picky point, I know! But I worry this makes it less memorable than other names.)
- Unfortunate acronym.
However, it’s challenging; I don’t have a catchy, better suggestion. I’d try to brainstorm and invent some catchy new word, like colorstruck or racialicious.
Regardless of the name, I do appreciate the site!
As someone who initially was reticent, I actually like the new name because it sounds more welcoming to non parents , aunt, uncles, sister, nannies etc. Good call.
In other news, I found this disturbing headline a further example of Hitleresque practices in media beauty standards:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20091218/ts_afp/psychologywomenuscanada_20091218145408
Happily, the 36/46 percent ratios “correspond with those of an average face,” the study said, meaning there’s no pressing need to get out the measuring tape and calculator or to rush to the plastic surgeon.
In fact, there are easy, non-invasive ways to trick beholders into thinking a woman’s face is “maximally attractive,” says the study, published in Vision Research.
Changing the hairstyle, is one example.
“Our study… explains why sometimes an attractive person looks unattractive or vice versa after a haircut, because hairdos change the ratios,” said Kang Lee, a professor at the University of Toronto and one of the lead authors of the study.
Lee also told AFP that the researchers studied the faces of a few celebrities.
“Angelina Jolie does not have golden length and width ratios,” he said.
“Elizabeth Hurley gets the golden ratio for length but is different from the width golden ratio by one percent.”
But Canadian country pop musician Shania Twain has “both the length and width ratios.”
The study looked only at white women. More research is needed to determine if the golden ratios for men’s faces, the faces of people of other races, and children’s faces, are the same as for the women’s faces in the study.
I feel badly that we seem to be ganging up on the folks that run this site, but I have to agree that I do not like the new name. It seems at once vague (in what deep, complex relationship is love enough?) and overly instructional, aimed at teaching certain readers–white adoptive parents of children of color–a lesson right off the bat. As some people have already pointed out, this seems to assume a certain readership and has the potential to alienate other readers. I am a white person in the process of becoming an adoptive parent of a child of color, and I don’t want readers not like me alienated. I’d prefer, in fact, that the name not focus exclusively on me, but rather reflect that this is a community of parents of all races (and combinations of races) of children of all races, who share a common goal of parenting in ways that, we hope, will help transcend our society’s racial status quo for the benefit of our children and the future. And LIE? Hardly. All that said, I, like others, am trying to give it a chance.
I DO remember how I found this site-I did a search for anti-racist sites for parents because I was going through a difficult situation with my daughter’s mostly white school. I was looking for resources that might address white privilege and I found myself here.
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I confess that I still refer to the site as Anti-Racist Parent to my friends when I talk about it. I feel like it just sums up the content where I’d have to explain Love Is Not Enough. Maybe that’s the point, though.
To be honest, I don’t pay too much attention to the tagline, I can’t even remember if the last name had a tagline. Love Isn’t Enough is very vague and can apply to more than parenting and race. People use that phrase to talk about romantic relationships as well as justification for discipline/punishment. Anti-Racist Parent is straight to the point of this site. You should want people to have some semblance of an idea of what it is about from the name. Really, all the blogs I read the names make sense (Stuff White People Do, Feminsiting, Media Matters, Eat Like Me, etc). Even Racialicious tells you it has something to do with race. If you wanted to focus on the generic love and love in all settings and what people use other than love then it would be an appropriate name. I understand you believe love isn’t enough to raise children to be anti-racist but that would be too long of a name. ARP as a name doesn’t limit you to discussions of adoption, international or otherwise. If your site is discussing race and parenting then you should strive to have a form of those two words in there.
thanks for responding to us, and committing to considering our opinions on the new name. Happy new year!
Well, I loved the old name and think it really conveyed the tone of the site very well, but I understand the new name as well. . . maybe you could combine the two?
long-time reader. I found the site through a “anti-racist parent” type google search under old name. I liked old name – it was direct. New name = meh – both unclear and oddly judgmental.
As for our power to make cosmetic and entertainment corporations here us loud and clear?
PLEASE read this everyone:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2779109/Rage-Against-The-Machine-beat-Joe-McElderry-in-race-for-Christmas-number-one.html#mySunComments
A multi-racial leftist rock band just shut down the sweet and saccharine corporate payola UK music machine by using the internet. We could do it too, to any skin care company selling skin lighteners or any powerful group that profits from racism.
This a triumph!
I am new here. I found this site because I was investigating nursery rhymes that have racist undertones and found a comment or article on one of them by Love Isn’t Enough. Although I agreed with the article, I was still hesitant to read more on the actual site where it came from, because of the name.
My question is, why isn’t Love Enough? I truly believe it is. For, if we did not love enough, then we wouldn’t be worried about how to raise our mulit-ethnic children in today’s and tomorrow’s society. If it weren’t for Love of parents and other caretakers, our children would not be who they are, or who they will be.
I believe Love IS Enough. Love is what we need to do what we are doing right now, on this blog. So if you see that you are not attracting enough new readers, then maybe you would consider changing the name to a more positive one?
Also, to ask on the old name, Anti-Racist Parent, why was it changed? How does that title represent only adoptive parents?
Now, to comment on hsofia’s question on the focus of appearances, why not? So many people base their judgements on how we all look. It needs to be said, heard, written and read. It needs to be known. Like the article about Sammy Soso (sp?), and the relation to Dove and Indian women. Being more “fair” has always been a world-wide desire among thousands of cultures, including mine. I’m Armenian, and we range from fair skin to olive toned to brown. My own cousin is considered the “blackie” in her family, and I have given her many strong words to show her that she is beautiful with her skin color the way that it is. Skin color, hair texture, nose shape, lip fullness, and all that defines who we are to society at large, not who we are on the inside unless people really KNOW you, and this is a sad reality. The only people who see us for who we really are, are those very few who are also not racists. Face it, when you go apply for a job, go to a company party meeting new people, walk into a restaurant, and someone who is white as can be with perfect skin tone and hair, walks in right behind you, who will be treated with more respect? Hmm…
Last note: Find a POSITIVE +++ Name… because what we are doing by guiding our children with everything they need to exist, survive, and succeed, is done only through our UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
It seems to almost downplay the value of love somehow.
Did anyone see the special “Home for the Holidays” last night? It was performers singing interspersed with talks from children waiting to be adopted and adoptive families. One of the families was a white couple with three white bio kids who adopted two black boys a few decades ago. One of the now grown adopted boys said something to the effect that love was all that was needed to be an interracial family. The problem is, love can mean different things. Some people love their children and that love compels them to live in diverse neighborhoods, integrate cultural traditions into their lives, and teach their children to critically engage with the media and to dismantle institutional prejudice. Other people love their children and think, for example, that although they are white and their whole community is white and their child isn’t love is enough to subsitute for diversity. Or when their child asks why someone at school mocked (fill in the blank racial feature) a hug is all they’ll need to feel better. Wise love is enough. Informed love is enough. Vigilant love is enough. But simply love is not enough.
My husband doesn’t read this blog so I asked him his opinion on the name change. He said that if the knew the old name of the blog was ARP and was changed to LIE he would think the blog is focused on white parents raising kids of another race who think that love is enough to raise kids while if he didn’t know the old name of the blog then he wouldn’t know the purpose of the blog. I find it ironic that the new names conveys to him a limited purpose that many regular readers had complained about: that we are not all parents who adopted internationally. I have noticed the increase of domestic (re: American) racial issues and racism as it relates to children and I appreciate the broader focus on these issues.
To be fair, he did say the tagline helps alot.
as a transracially adoptive parent who has put anti-racist work at the forefront in her life and the life of her family, i actually find the “love isn’t enough” title insulting. what you have on this site is smart people, trying to be very thoughtful , question, learn from mistakes, etc. “love is enough” is condescending to the spirit of why people come here. we already believe that either “love” encompasses being aware, anti-racist, etc., or we just denounce the statement altogether.
that phrase is often used on parents adopting across race or culture, assuming that they don’t know any better. i don’t think that describes your broad audience here, nor your audience of adoptive parents. and the fact that it shortens to LIE makes me like it even less. i’m glad you’ll reconsider the name change. anti-racist parent was smart… if you want a title more inclusive, chose one that is, not one that can serve as a masked insult to some of your readers.
but i DO like the tagline… i’d work from that.
stunning forum, i wish i found it earlier…
superrefman