Dear Love Isn’t Enough,
My husband and I are white. We have a bio son and daughter and a son who was born in Ethiopia.
Since I was a girl, I have been drawn to learning about Africa. I watched documentaries and read books about African cultures, land and wildlife. As I grew older I was attracted to African art, and we have many art pieces and textiles in our home that depict African wildlife and people. Some of the pieces are gifts from family who traveled to South Africa, some are Kenyan and Ugandan pieces I purchased at a local Fair Trade store, and one piece we purchased from a Nigerian artist at an African American art show. We also brought several pieces home from Ethiopia when we traveled. I don’t consider the pieces part of a decorating theme, but rather a reflection of things I love in my home.
We had African American guests to our home for the first time this weekend. I found myself suddenly very self conscious about my home. I was concerned the couple would find our decor disingenuous at best, and I was uncomfortable as I showed our guests around.
The fact that I was nervous made me wonder if we have crossed the line from appreciation to appropriation. What do you think?
Christine
From the Editor:
I admit that I have put off answering your question. Maybe my hesitancy is because I think only you can really determine whether you truly appreciate African cultures or if your interest is a form of exoticizing and appropriation. The answer to your question, I think, lies heavily in your motivations and how you view the African continent.
Is the allure of Africa for you rooted in mythology about “the dark continent” and noble savages?
Do acknowledge that there is no such thing as one African culture–that the continent is one of many nations and peoples with unique cultures? Do you, for instance, work to teach your son about his Ethiopian heritage rather than “generic Africa?”
Do you recognize modern-day Congolese, South Africans or Kenyans as real, living, breathing and nuanced people?
Do you adapt bits of African culture that have deep cultural or religious meaning and use them for fashion or decor?
Do you pay attention to what is going on in African countries TODAY? Do you know the realities of South Africa, Nigeria, Ethiopia? Do you acknowlege the way that Western “interest” in the African continent has oftentimes harmed its people? Is your interest in the mythology of Africa or the real Africa?
Do you take care to purchase authentic items that support African artists and peoples?
I must admit, as an African American woman, if I were to visit a white friend’s home and find it dripping in African-themed decor, I would find it…odd. But I am always a little wary when I witness people taking an obsessive interest in a culture that is not their own. My wariness stems from a realization of how easy it is to move from appreciation to Gwen Stefani trailing a group of faux Harajuku girls behind her like pets.
Why do you love Africa and African cultures? That is the question. And it is one we all–regardless of race–have to ask when we explore and are drawn to other cultures. I have a tiny Buddha figurine under my computer at work. It is there because I have studied Buddhist philosophy and I believe in its principles. I am not a Buddhist, though. And I know that here in America, we are really quick to slap a Buddha on an ironic t-shirt, when to do the same with a Christian religious icon would be heresy. And so sometimes I wonder if I am being insensitive by displaying this figure. And so I constantly examine my motivations and so must you.
Readers? What do you think?
I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think that Christine might actually have a bigger issue here than her artwork. She’s raising a black child in America, and yet she doesn’t feel comfortable around black people. She doesn’t have any real relationships with black people (she’s never had black people in her home before). She refers to the black people she knows (and maybe is trying to form a relationship with?) as her African American guests, which is fine but makes me wonder if perhaps her level of formality reflects her underlying discomfort and might pose a barrier to her being able to develop a real relationship there. She talks about her son being from Ethiopia, but not about him being a black child. Does she understand what that means for him here in the U.S.? It is, of course, important for him to be aware of the culture that he comes from (which by the way can not be defined by an abstract and nonexistent “African culture”), but he must also live in a family that is aware of the culture that surrounds him and that includes the history of black people in the U.S. and the way that history shapes the black American experience.
Thank you for this letter and article! I think it is important to discuss it. Indeed, this goes further, since people use cultural elements from certain cultures for fashion, and other reasons. Which is not necessarily bad. (Clothes, hair-styles, …) It can show a love for music or other and the wish to belong to a certain culture/subculture. However, indeed you should never make those choices without reflecting what you are doing and what you are “using” and how (a cliché, misusing something sacred, …)
I am a white European, but “luckily” my fiance is West-African, which “allows” me to use African elements and decor. However, I might have done it anyway, to SOME extent.
An example: I play double bass, I like Ray Brown, so I made a picture frame with some pictures of him playing. I am not putting something on the wall just for beautiful, but because I can relate to it. Even though I am not African-American. Same thing for some Japanese decoration I have, friends gave them to me, because they went to Japan or are Japanese. And then there are some rare pieces I just love because they convey something to me, even though I don’t have a relationship to their country of origin etc.
I only listed this to express my way of chosing art or fashion. I think the most important is to know WHY you put those things on the walls or decorated that way. You can just like and respect some way of life etc. and live it too. Bring some ritual into your daily routine, tea ceremony or another, because it is important to you and you can relate to it in some way. What I think is most important above all, is not to forget who YOU are, and to integrate your interests into your life (and home). You should really feel at home. If you felt akward showing your home, than you might feel insecure about what you are doing. Why? you should see why you chose this decor and be able to tell “oh, and this, we got in … in Ethiopia, what a great holiday that was!” and live your passion whole-heartedly! many people have studied different cultures and used iconography and so forth in their homes. Then again, the question is, how detailed were your studies, what do you consider “African art” or decor? is it leopard-prints and those colonial-style statues? I hope not. That is the question of detail and respect you really have for Ethiopia for example. How much can you relate to the pieces?
I might feel odd too coming into a home that’s all decorated in a way that seems unrelated to the family living there. But I know a family who loves to travel a lot, they have Senegalese, and other art from around the world. And it does not feel odd, because they decorated well and let there be a BALANCE. And it reflects their personality too!
Sometimes, too, saying something is „beautiful“ is not enough. You are not building a museum, but a home, so you should relate to your things. Which seems to be the case.
So if there is a balance and a mixture of things you like, not only African, you shouldn’t feel insecure. This might show, much more, how insecure you are towards your African-American guests. Why not feel more confident when showing your home, reflecting who you are?
I have been to Western Africa, and I loved it and enjoyed it a lot. With my fiance from there, I consider his country my country too, I felt at home there and feel like it is part of my identity now. This is why I don’t mind wearing my traditional jewelry or decorating in some way etc. And I know it is true of friends too, who might have been to Cameroun for example, studied the language, … and have a personal relationship to a certain region. Once it is part of your identity, why not express it, embrace it, … ? On the other hand, I never forget how white I am. I was offered a fabric with masks and elephants on it, and I found it too much of a cliché, so I never wore it. I would feel akward.
Ok, this is getting way too long, sorry —
My advice: try to balance your decoration, make sure it is not „too much“, or too much of a cliché, think about the way you see Africa and African wildlife etc. Maybe chosing more abstract patterns might help you embrace the passion you have! (I sometimes feel akward in front of some fabrics because I remember colonial and racist clichés, so I choose patterns that are more „ideology-free“.) It is really interesting how this visit seems to have reminded you that you are white and made you feel you are displaying a culture that is not yours, is that what you felt? I think you should embrace your love for Ethiopia and other African countries.
And you might want to consider reading about critical whiteness! I can only recommend it.
This post reminds me of a previous one. You may find the links and comments helpful.
I think those are all good questions to ask. I can relate a little to this woman’s questions. As an adolescent I developed an interest in Chinese and Russian literature and history. I am neither Chinese nor Russian, so I believe we sometimes just have affinities for cultures that are not our own.
For me, when I’m making a decision about whether to buy and display something “ethnic” I try to remain as practical as possible. Does this thing have meaning to me (or is it just filling up space on a wall)? Does it represent something concrete (like a trip I took, friendship, etc.)? And who profits from this purchase? That’s the biggest one. Does the money I spend on this go to support the community this work is supposed to represent?
For me, that’s what matters. Other questions are interesting, but often become philosophical exercises.
I agree in part with Anna in that it depends on your reasons for purchasing and displaying items and art from another culture. As with any art, one buys it because it “speaks” in some way to you and this goes for African, Japanese, Native Alaskan, etc. art. However, as the white mom of a blended family (including Irish, American, and Ethiopian), I see many adoptive parents that collect what they consider to be Ethiopiann/African things to display in their home so that their “children see that they respect Ethiopian culture”. IMO, bad move. A respect for Ethiopian or any other culture must be shown by HOW you choose your decor and art. I treat it like any other art; my children know that we as parents love art and choose to teach our children that love and appreciation too. They know about all of our art, not only the Ethiopian pieces, and we collect (not often as we are art lovers but not rich ones!) modern Ethiopian artists. We do not display ancient/religious/cultural items without also informing our children and guests that comment on it what the item is and is/was used for. Our Ethiopian family (still living in Addis) knows all about this practice and is thankful that we are trying to include Ethiopia in our home and everyday life. We do this by more than just displaying “for tourist” items.
Respect for all cultures is the most important thing, I think. JMO
Good art should transcend its particular social context. You don’t need to understand the context of, say, European, African and Creole culture and how the social rules around Congo Square in late 19th century New Orleans led to the development of jazz in order to dig St. Louis Blues. So, I think a questionnaire where you have to tick off the correct answers in order to enjoy art appropriately kind of misses the point of art and how its enjoyed.
That said, it would be weird to get interested in only the aspect and not the context of a particular piece of art, but maybe that’s just me. After all, Thomas Kincaid’s done pretty well and his stuff is all pretty and no context.
If you’re putting art up on the wall (or CDs in your player) because you think you should or because you want them to say something about you (rather than to you), then you’re just being pretentious.
I am very interested in the direction that JM was taking his/her comment. My husband and I are also raising a black son – are white – and have two bio children. We adopted through the US Foster system because we wanted to expand our family. We were not specific about gender or race. All our professional supports were African American – our social worker – our lawyer – our judge – all our supports through the entire process. As we went through the process we asked them if they thought that adopting a black child into a white family was going to support the childs well being. And they all said that as long as we exposed him to the world that we exposed our other two children he would do well. And we have. Although a year after adopting we moved from the city of St. Louis – where the population was very diverse – to a smaller town where the population is not as diverse. Where I had friends of many races filtering through my home – I know have few and there is a more distinct division of mingling.
However, as we live we learn. There are a great deal of things that we as white people take for granted. Our son, as a black boy/man, will have a different life we have because society responds to him differently. I have a different life already. The way people respond to us when I am alone with him can be completely different from the way people respond to us when we are with my husband. This can happen with people who are both black and white. I am growing to not react to it as openly, but still I notice it. I am glad that I notice it too – because I believe it will help me be more conscious of what to look for when my son experiences things. And because I now watch closer I have also become somewhat self conscious.
Prior to adopting I felt comfortable with people who were black – I still do – but now because of some of the negative things which have occured in the past 4 years of having our youngest son I find that I am less comfortable in my own skin when I am with people I don’t know – regardless of their race. And I do sometimes catch myself wondering – when approaching potential new friends who are black – do these people think I only want to know them so I have black friends to surround my son with. Honestly I don’t approach anyone for friendship that I don’t feel is a good influence in my life – but I do admit that I want a balance of all types of people – race, gender, social economic, life experience – in my life and my families. Sometimes I might seek people who are black that I admire for friendship because I want to have them in my life and my childrens life. Should I feel self-conscious about that? The jokes I hear say I should. Some of the statements I read written by groups who are not supportive of inter-race adoptions say I should. And I wonder too if that isn’t part of what happened for Christine. Where she always surrounded herself with art from different regions in Africa and never thought much past how much she appreciated the country – now she finds herself in worry about if the way she decorates looks “posed” or “fake” or “false”. And because she worried she worries if there is something wrong with that.
How can we connect to and create a history of culture as white people for our black children – without looking like we are trying to be something we are not while making those connections happen? Or should we just disregard what we hear said about the way our families might look to others and go about our business?
So I am new to posting and sent in a post on this story – only I didn’t realize that it would list my entire name because……I wasn’t paying attention – would you mind just changing my name to Patti please. I would appreciate it. Thanks! and I really appreciate your site.
Honestly, I am not at all comfortable with this. It only became more problematic for me when the author stated that she was uncomfortable with African-Americans in her home. This suggests that she is disingenuous about her interests. I simply do not feel that it appropriate for White people to decorate with the culture of another due to a history of outright theft, marginalization and disregard. Isn’t enough that people think that they can “experience” culture through food and music without ever really understanding the trials and tribulations of what it is to be of colour in this world. It feels to me more she finds this work exotic.
Christine, may I suggest you pick up a copy of Chinua Achebe’s The Education of a British-Protected Child?
As someone whose cultures get (mis)appropriated all the dang time, I think the line is all about intent. I think if you truly appreciate the culture and the specific piece of art for its own merits, it’s fine. For example, I’m happy when someone compliments one of my pieces of traditional clothing/jewelry because it “looks awesome”. However, when people start by cooing over some aspect of my culture because it makes them feel “culturally sensitive” or “openminded”, or because they have some romanticized image of what my people are all about and want to participate because it seems “fun”. (For the record, I am Scottish Celtic and Kalinago.) Your art appreciation should not be constrained by your race/ethnicity, but if your enjoyment of the work is more about its “exotic” qualities or its origins than its aesthetic value, you’ve got a problem.
I agree with Seadhlinn on this one, but it’s a touchy topic and one that I’ve always tried to keep my finger on the pulse of. I’m an illustrator, and so being able to look at and appreciate art that doesn’t emanate from Western cultures is always refreshing- the shapes and colours and proportions used in Papau New Guinean masks or Wodaabe beauty rituals are just FANTASTIC from a design standpoint, and so I have any number of books and objects and art. Not for the exoticism of it, but because only looking at the history of traditional, Western art is absurdly limiting.
-C
@Claire: my point exactly– you’re appreciating the Wodaabe art (for example) because you think it’s interesting as art and has an inherent aesthetic appeal, not because it’s Wodaabe.
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