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Love Isn't Enough is a blog about parenting and race.
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Okay, so here I am talking to my sister who lives in an upscale, exclusively white enclave in New Jersey. She tells me that she ran into a woman who was holding a newborn. Knowing that the woman’s children were grown, my sister asks her about the baby. The woman tells her that she is a foster child, whereupon my sister tells her about my own journey from fostering, to adopting my darling (AA) son. The woman then confides to my sister that in two separate instances someone came up to her and said, “You were lucky you didn’t get a black baby.”
Its been a week since she told me that, and I am still enraged; it hurts me to even write it down. Who could possibly think that we should “all move on” in a post-racial America?
Mary,
It seems like ever since President Obama was elected, some people have decided it’s okay to be overtly racist again. (As opposed to the covert racism we’re used to.) It’s as if these people are trying to actively fight against the (false) idea of a “post-racial” America.
Seems to me that ‘post-racial’ was probably invented by the same folks who invented the term ‘PC’ back in the 80s. And for the same reason – to justify being an ass.
Just came across an interesting article in The Straight Dope about racist dogs:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2928/are-some-dogs-racist
I hadn’t heard that the US tried to train dogs to hate Japanese during WW2:
“This charming procedure involved having a Japanese-American soldier in padded gear beat a dog bloody, whereupon the dog’s handler would order it to attack the soldier. The results weren’t impressive. After 90 days of such abuse, the dogs still couldn’t reliably distinguish ethnic Japanese.”
@Mary: I am so sorry–that’s horrible! Stupid lady! Do you also live in NJ? If so, there are lots of areas that are friendly (like Montclair) — and lots of people that will stand with as a parent of a child of color (both parents of color and white parents of children of color). I’m one of them! I think its hard for us white folks to be slapped in the face with racism that we’ve had the privilege to ignore for most of our lives.
Just for all those that don’t follow racialicious. There is a SUPER conversation going on there that many people on this site might be interested in.
http://www.racialicious.com/2010/03/19/the-what-are-you-game-rules-and-regulations/
I think the comments are really illuminating!
totally agree with you Dersk – PC was invented as a term by people who just want to be bigots and get away with it
mk
Montclair Mommy, I’m your neighbor over here in South Orange. I guess I’ve just gotten used to the live and let live atmosphere here in our neck of the woods, so I was just taken aback by the utter ignorance. The town in question is prettily picture perfect on the surface, but houses the” Stepford race” of humanoids
Interestingly, my brother also moved to this town after his middle eastern wife became pregnant. I tried to talk them out of it, but they didn’t listen. Just hope there are no repercussions when the kids at school find out my nephew is of the Islamic faith.
I live in Southern Jersey and this does not surprise me. Mary you reminded me of an incident that took place about a week ago. While at work, I was engaged in a conversation with a middle aged Caucasian woman. When she learned that I had two children age 20 & 7. She looked at me and said, “I hope that you’re not offended, but do they have the same father?” She assumed that my children were fathered by two different men and I was offended by her insinuation. She was shocked to learn that my husband and I have married for almost 22 years. Racism is alive. Thank heavens for blogs like this, which create a wonderful forum to openly discuss the issues.
@Lexa: that is such an imposing and rude question. Ugh! Imagine how she would feel if people made all kinds of assumptions about her personal life. On a side note, how do you like that age spread? I’m curious to know how that is as a parent–I am a little over 12 years older than my brother so I know how it is as a sibling (I thought it was freakin awesome to have a ‘living baby’ doll and I used to treat him like a puppy doll that I could put in my purse and use as an accessory).
@Mary, I am so curious about where your sister lives! I have a few guesses! I LOVE South Orange, Maplewood, Montclair, West Orange…but buying is so expensive there! My inclination is that its worth it– how old is your son? Do you have any kids in school yet? I’m wondering what the schools are like from your perspective (my friends that have bought in those areas are WPs of WCs so I don’t know that we are coming from the same place in regards to what we are looking for in school environment)?
@MM- Yeah, she was rude and would probably have been even more offended if I had made an assumption about her personal life. Unfortunately, people do not always think before they speak.
The age spread is not bad. The most challenging aspect for me is that our oldest was an extremely quiet and shy little girl. We took her everyplace and she quietly blended in. Our 7 yr. old son– Wow! Completely different story: Outgoing, opinionated, very social, curious, and busy! We weren’t quite ready for the personality differences, but it’s wonderful! The second go around, we’re more laid back and don’t take the bumps along the way too serious. His sister is about an hour away at college, so he misses her a lot. We started skyping so that he could see her more. 20 Years ago, we didn’t know anything about skyping. My- how times have changed.