Stuff white people like
written by Kristen H.; originally published on Rage Against the Minivan
I got a Stuff White People Like flip calendar for Christmas. I am enjoying it very much. This was last night’s entry:
The Daily Show/Colbert makes up a duo that is held in such high regard by white people that to criticize it would be the equivalent of setting the pope on fire in Italy in 1822. It just isn’t done, in fact it isn’t even considered!
White people love to make fun of politics, especially right wing politics. It’s a pretty easy target and makes for some decent humor, but white people are actually starting to believe that these two shows are becoming legitimate news sources.
“Oh, I don’t watch the news,” they will say. “I watch the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. You know, studies show that viewers of those shows are more educated than people who watch Fox News or CNN.”
White women all consider John Stewart to be the most perfect man on the planet. This is not a debate, it is law.
I can neither confirm not deny the truth of that statement.
I can tell you that my sister read the whole Stuff White People Like book and believed it to be written exclusively about me. (There is even a chapter on hating people who wear Ed Hardy. Yes. This book IS about me).
I don’t actually believe this book or blog represents all white people, but I do think it makes some funny commentary on a certain demographic of caucasian folks. I’m having fun identifying with it, and I’m even feel a little pride in my whiteness as I read the things, both silly and serious and mortifying, that we white people like.
And yes. I did just say “pride in my whiteness”. Let me explain.
As I’ve tried to dive deeper into racial equality and what that all means, I’ve actually noticed three things that hinder racial tolerance from white people. I really have no research to back this up. Other than being white for a long time, and being around a lot of other white people.
The first things I notice is defensiveness. We feel very defensive in discussions of race, because oftentimes the only time we unpack what it means to be “white” is in reference to racism. We don’t have a healthy self-esteem or even an identity in regards to our own race – and therefore we move into a posture of avoiding blame instead of assuming responsibility. This is what people with low self-esteem do in relationships. It’s the reason why improving self-esteem is the first step in counseling an abuser. Better self-esteem and a sense of healthy identity leads to a great ability to empathize with others.
The second thing I notice is that white people assume that white is not a culture (or worse, that white is just “normal”). Even the word “ethnic” refers to someone being non-white . . . as if white is the absence of ethnicity. We are unable to identify our specific cultural habits because they are so pervasive – so instead of owning our whiteness as a culture, we view it as “just the way things are.” And then we expect everyone else to assimilate to our cultural norms that we don’t even recognize as our own culture.
This leads me to my third observation, which is that white people feel threatened by the cultural expressions of others. Because we don’t get our own culture, we get resentful when others celebrate their own. This is the reason people get perturbed when there is a Mexican fiesta at their child’s school. It’s the reason people whine about why we have black history month. It’s the reason people ask a question like, when is it gonna be OUR day? (spoiler alert: if you live in America, it’s EVERY DAY).
All that to say, I have a theory. I think that if white people start to understand what it means to be white, that they will actually relate to people of color with less defensiveness. If we celebrate what we like about our culture, we don’t need to feel threatened by celebrating the culture of another. If we understand the negative aspects of our culture and we commit to making changes, then we don’t have to feel defensive in owning the history of oppression that is also inherent with being white.
Now, is all of that going to happen by reading Stuff White People Like? No. But it might be a baby step in looking into what makes white culture unique. And then, we might dig a little deeper and read Stuff White People Do. Okay, some heavier stuff there. Then we might take a deep breath and dive into Peggy McIntosh’s famous essay on white privilege (because we’re getting more comfortable with ourselves, and we can acknowledge the concept of white privilege without self-loathing, right?) Then we might even be ready to read Tim Wise’s White Like Me, at which point it becomes abundantly clear that this “white” thing is shaping us, and the world around us, in powerful ways.
And then we celebrate our affinity for Jon Stewart and Banana Republic and Whole Foods, while at the same time having enough humility to be mindful of the ways our white privilege might come into play.
Like when we write this blog post using the first-person plural, creating the narrative that our readers are also white and not considering how this might alienate/annoy any non-white readers.
Uh-huh.
And then we keep trudging along in this imperfect journey . . .
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
J wrote:
WOW!!!! This blog post blew me away! So great. Thanks Kristen. I want to email it to all of my white friends, esp the ones who have no idea what white privilege is…
Posted 28 Jul 2010 at 6:34 am ¶
hillary wrote:
I am white and grew up in an all white community (literally one kid who identified as non-white in my whole elementary school). I didn’t know that I had ownership of any culture until I was an adult and lived in a diverse community…I realized that I hadn’t grown up without culture, I just grew up as part of a dominant culture. In retrospect there were many non-white kids at my school but the white culture was so overwhelming that their non-whiteness was literally not recognized. That makes me incredibly sad.
Posted 28 Jul 2010 at 3:53 pm ¶
Andrea wrote:
I think that site describes a certain type of liberal, urban white person. It doesn’t necessarily describe my experiences or my cultural background (rural, conservative, church-going, third generation Scandinavian-American.) I don’t particularly like Colbert or the Daily Show either. Your average Scandinavian-American is probably going to be quite a bit different in cultural practice than your typical Italian-American New Yorker or Irish-American Bostonian. I don’t feel particularly white. I do feel a strong connection to the various ethnicities in my particular makeup. Of course I’m proud of them. There’s every reason to be. The kids here enjoy going to the Scandinavian-American festival and I’ve seen other cultural activities in the schools here as well, a celebration of Diwali or Day of the Dead, etc.. especially when there are Indian American or Mexican kids in the school. Kids often are taken to the Native American pow wows, drum groups, etc. too.
Posted 28 Jul 2010 at 7:44 pm ¶
Liz wrote:
Hmm, don’t you think SWPL is describing a very certain privileged, hipster class of white people? For example, “unpaid internships” and “taking a year off” are definitely not something most people, in general, are ever able to do.
Posted 28 Jul 2010 at 8:29 pm ¶
Kristen wrote:
Yes, I agree. It is definitely written for a subset of white people, and heavy on the satire. I would never suggest it as a handbook for white culture. Just something I find funny because it does describe a lot of my own experiences. (Unfortunately none of which include unpaid internships or taking a year off!)
Posted 29 Jul 2010 at 2:22 am ¶
Katie wrote:
Thirding (or however many there are
) that SWPL is very much class-dependent. It’s frustrating that a lot of the behaviors there are things people of color at a certain socioeconomic level do TOO.
Posted 29 Jul 2010 at 9:59 am ¶
Momsomniac wrote:
What’s Ed Hardy?
Posted 29 Jul 2010 at 9:27 pm ¶
By Word of Mouth wrote:
My parents moved to South Africa when I was 6 yrs old. We never had black friends at school, because the schools were segregated. When we moved to the States, I believed that it would be such a mixed society – I was wrong. When we adopted my youngest, who happens to be African American, people questioned our choice. I hope my children see beyond and just do their best with everyone … like religion … should we go there
Posted 02 Aug 2010 at 8:23 am ¶
Rini wrote:
Hmm. You know, maybe we *should* have a White Culture Day – if only to have a way to say “THIS is part of white culture, and THAT is part of white culture. The other thing over there? Yeah, that one really is just the way things are…”
Posted 02 Aug 2010 at 11:13 am ¶
Brian wrote:
Is it possible that the real problem is in assuming that there is a “white” culture? Or an “American” culture? White privilege thrives on this false premise. People who “want their country back” are wrongly assuming that we had a monocultural society at one time, and they feel threatened when that myth is revealed as untrue.
I can respect the author’s premise that white people embrace their lost culture, but it is not “white.” It is Irish, Polish, Czech, Greek, English, French, German, Italian, and many more distinct traditions that were sacrificed on the altar of assimilation.
Yes, affluent white Americans do some funny, strange, disturbing things. But other commenters have noted that there is a separation based on class that is going unmentioned in blog posts like this.
In addition, I believe that families can create their own culture without generalizing it out to include all white people. That at least leaves some room for trans-racial families.
Posted 03 Aug 2010 at 9:05 am ¶
Laura wrote:
Thank you for sharing a great blog. You put into words some of the thoughts that I have been tossing around lately. As a white person who grew up being in the minority in her friendship circle, is now married to a man of Mexican descent and has a biological Mexican-American child and an adopted child from Guatemala, race and culture are regular topics on our menu. While I am of Irish, German and Russian background, I have no real connection with those ethnicities as opposed to my husband who feels very close to his Mexican culture and balances it nicely with integration into the American culture where we live, as do our children.
On a side note, I gave my bi-racial girlfriend the book “Stuff White People Like” and between her friends and family she can’t get the book back as everyone is having so much fun reading it. I like your take on the book, and agree that it’s a step in the right direction. Thanks again for sharing.
Posted 04 Aug 2010 at 2:25 pm ¶
Marcy wrote:
“I can respect the author’s premise that white people embrace their lost culture, but it is not “white.” It is Irish, Polish, Czech, Greek, English, French, German, Italian, and many more distinct traditions that were sacrificed on the altar of assimilation.”
I’ve seen this argument a few times, and, well, isn’t this also true of anytime we talk about “black culture” or “asian culture” or “hispanic culture?” None of those are homogeneous, either. Just as not all white people come from the same background or like the same things, it’s also true that not all black, hispanic, asian, etc people have the same experiences or preferences. Yet we (many whites) act like they do…
As for the post as a whole, I’ll be passing this link around as I do find it a very interesting read, and I have to say it’s refreshing to hear that I don’t have to be bogged down with guilt and shame thanks to the color of my skin. It’s also a good reminder to us whities that white culture is just so damn pervasive that we don’t even see it. ; )
Posted 11 Aug 2010 at 9:08 pm ¶
HalloweenJacqueline wrote:
I find the Stuff White People Like site really problematic. I think the concept of using that sort of classic, objectifying sociological tone to dislodge the taken-as-the-norm quality of white privilege is a clever concept, but for the site itself doesn’t work for me. For one, as others have mentioned it totally and completely conflates “whiteness” with a particular urban, upper-class, liberal subculture. This totally denies the experiences of people of color in the same socioeconomic positions, as well as those of poor white folks. Secondly, the comments section. I know it’s not fair to judge a site by the comments of a few, but I’ve found a consistently creepy tone in many of the comments, as well as a lack of moderation that allows incredibly hateful and racist comments to go through. These range from a sort of “hardy-har isn’t it great to be white/privileged?” to disgusting stuff that certainly doesn’t promote an atmosphere of thoughtful reflection on white privilege (and class privilege).
I’m glad to hear, though, that it sparked that kind of thoughtful reflection for Kristen H. and other readers. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and letting me share mine.
Posted 12 Aug 2010 at 6:34 am ¶
Karin wrote:
I am from Germany and when I grew up it was a mono-culture (in the Eastern Republic). Being white is not an issue there; it’s never an accusation. So coming to America 11 years ago I sometimes felt I was being thrust into having to play the role of someone whose great-grandparents had slaves. It’s weird (and not in a good way). I don’t own any guilt over slavery because I have never practiced it and never will. I read about it in history books, and I judge it. This is what’s unhealthy about collective white guilt: we are to live out a penance over something other people did hundreds of years ago, because they had the same color as we do today. Huh? Living in rural Pennsylvania now, I am grateful for HalloweenJacqueline’s entry and her perspective that there are indeed poor white folks who have nothing “uppity” about them. I agree with Morgan Freeman’s advice on how to end racism: stop talking about it.
[Editor's note: Karin, American racism may have its roots in slavery, but it certainly didn't stop there. For another hundred years and beyond, the white majority maintained a society that privileged whiteness. Examples include redlining, Jim Crow, job discrimination, etc. Even many white people who were not directly involved in these examples of racism, looked away from their practice and benefited from them.
Racism continues to exist. See POC pushed into predatory loans more often than white people. Check out the studies that show resumes with "black names" on them get passed over more readily, regardless of content, than those with traditionally "white names."
White privilege also continues to exist. Morgan Freeman is a great actor. Not so much a race scholar. You may wish to check out Peggy McIntosh's wonderful essay, "Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" or anything Tim Wise has written.
The bottom line is that to say that the people most effected by bias should be silent about it and that good people who benefit from it should remain silent is abhorrent. One should never be silent about injustice. And the people who benefit from bias needn't feel guilty; they should instead actively speak out and work to change things. For example, I don't feel guilty about my privilege as a heterosexual woman, but I sure as hell want to support the GLBT community in working to correct that privilege. If you don't agree with this basic principle, you're going to find much to disagree with on this site.]
Posted 13 Aug 2010 at 7:44 am ¶