written by Renee; originally posted at Womanist Musings
All black women have a story to tell about their hair and how it has impacted their vision of what beauty is. I know that for quite sometime as a child, I thought I was ugly in large part due to my hair. I envied the white girls I went to school with and so I was ecstatic when I could finally straighten by hair. I processed my hair until the age of 26 sure in the belief that natural black hair was not only unkept but ugly. For me, this was certainly a reflection of my internalized racism.
The feelings I had about my hair certainly did not manifest from nowhere. They were absolutely a reflection of the fact that my mind had become colonized because I lived in a white supremacist state. (Breathe easy Canadians, racism is just as bad in Canada, we just hide it better) When I have written about what black women go through with their hair, inevitably some white person tells me that they can identify or that Whiteness does not care about black hair. Of course, none of this is in the last bit true. Little black girls are bullied constantly about their hair, and it does not always come from other children.
It began with a 7-year-old asking her mother to tie colorful Jolly Rancher candies to the ends of her braids, copying a hairstyle she had admired in a magazine, for school picture day.
But the girl’s mother said a teacher posted pictures of the second-grader on Facebook, then led online friends in mocking the hairdo. Now Chicago Public Schools said it’s investigating.
The Overton Elementary School principal “said this was a good teacher, but this was a case of poor judgment,” said CPS spokeswoman Monique Bond. “It will warrant disciplinary action.”
Lucinda Williams said that after she complained to the principal, the teacher apologized and told her she had taken down the page.
But, “what bothers me is that (the teacher) still hasn’t apologized to my baby,” she said. “No child should have to go to school to be bullied by their teacher.” (source)
Ukailya was held up for mockery and the teacher only viewed her actions as problematic when Ukailya’s mother Lucinda Williams complained. How hard is it to understand that an adult mocking a child is wrong? Time and time again I have pointed out that Black children are simply not allowed to experience their childhood with the same careless abandon that White children are. This occurs despite the social discourse that children exist as a protected class. Teachers are placed into a position of power over children and this act is an absolute violation of trust.
I really do feel that it is particularly relevant that the teacher did not feel that she had to apologize to Ukailya. When we apologize, it places us into a position of submission and this is something many adults do not feel comfortable doing with children, and in this way we deny their humanity. As a parent, I have apologized numerous times to my children, and believe that as I continue to make mistakes, that this is something I will continue to have to do. Not feeling the need to apologize is a very strong statement of privilege and whether or not adults like to believe it is possible, adult privielge not only exists, it is very much normalized. When the child in question of colour, this oppression is that much more normalized because black bodies are devalued and black children are seen as surplus population.
The hairstyle that Ukailya chose is something I have seen repeatedly on little black girls. I think that it is cute and an expression of self. Even if the computer teacher in question could not see the positive in her hairstyle she had no business holding her up to ridicule. black hair will not hang and flow like white hair but it can do amazing fun things and to ridicule this girl for using an option that white girls cannot just smacks of racism and a desire to shame.
To play devils advocate, she would not have known what her teacher did if her mother hadn’t told her. I am assuming (because of her age) that this child isn’t a Facebook lurker. But because she knows what her teacher did, the honorable thing would be if her teacher apologized to her.
It is quite possible that the teacher feels that Facebook is an adult’s domain and never expected the child she made fun of to be a Facebook user.
If we make fun of someone’s child, and get caught doing it, the honorable thing to do is to apologize.
Now taking off my devil’s advocate hat, my immediate response when I heard the news was “Why did her mama send her to school with candy in her hair?”
I went to public schools that were strict, that we weren’t to bring candy to school, and had a strict dress code because the attitude was that we were there to learn instead of being too focused on fashion. (As it became a problem in the middle school level when the students cared more about their clothes than their grades–the adults were serious about this)
I have no objection to the hairstyle, but I didn’t like that there was candy put in her hair. I felt the mother set her child up for ridicule because of the same rules you state on how society perceives Black children. They don’t get the freedom to put candy in their hair without adult commentary on it. There is a famous photo of a man with cornrrows and Jolly Rancher candies in his hair that has circulated the internet for years under the label of it being “ghetto”. This is what I immediately thought of when I read about what happened to this child. I felt her mother unknowingly set her up to be a subject of ridicule because I knew the world wasn’t going to embrace her walking around with candy in her hair.
I felt for her mother and for her–I would be just as upset if this was my child being teased but also as a mother I would have blamed myself (even if I didnt do anything ‘wrong’) for sending her to school with candy in her hair because Black children do not get that freedom. There is a reason why certain hairstyles are viewed a certain way on children. I’ve witnessed adults’ reaction to children whose parents styled them very differently from the other children, especially towards children of color.
I can easily see what could happen if a mother sent her child to school with earrings, gold necklaces, funky hairdo when the other kids are not styled similarly.
It’s unfair, yet its reality. I rememeber seeing a teacher roll her eyes before she pulled up a 5 year old’s pants that were styled to hang off his butt. His parents dressed him that way, and he had to face the consequences of being the only kid in the school with his pants sagging.
Hair is a touchy topic and then throw in parents and their child, the topic gets touchier.
I feel that the chance of that incident happening would have been lower if she and her other classmates had hair styled with colorful candies in them. If it was just something the kids did for fun together. She had the misfortune of being the only one with her hair styled like that. (I am assuming this due to lack of commentary from other parents who may style their child’s hair the same)
Wow…this brought tears to my eyes. I grew up in South Florida, a young biracial girl with white skin and kinky hair.
Since childhood, I’ve been made to feel ashamed of my hair. I’ve been told that my hair is “ugly”. I’ve been told that it is “bad”. I’ve been told that it is “rough” and “unmanageable”. I’ve been told that it is “nigger hair”.
I have been discriminated against and ridiculed because of my hair. I live in a city where straight hair is considered the pinnacle of beauty. As a kid, I attended schools where it was clear that if your hair didn’t look a certain way, you would be mocked.
My heart goes out to this little girl. But I’m pissed too. First, the teacher had no business posting pictures of the child online. It isn’t her daughter. The Internet can be scary. You never know who is seeing pictures of your children and what kinds of sick thoughts they could be entertaining. One of her friends could be a pedophile or something.
Second, that little girl is cute as can be. The fact that this teacher believed it was OK to post her picture on Facebook to be held up for ridicule by adults is sickening. It is sad that this is just a kid trying to express creativity through her hair, something that holds significance for many Black girls/women. She didn’t deserve this. She is just a little girl who wanted to look pretty on Picture Day and she wanted to try out a unique look with her hair.
Little Black girls are beautiful. Their hair is versatile and gorgeous, capable of being styled in a number of ways. I remember wearing pink beads in my cornrows on one occasion as a child.
Poor Ukailya. As a biracial woman who also identifies with Blackness, I can relate to the pain of feeling ugly in a society where beauty depends a lot on having silky straight hair or soft flowing curls.
I can only imagine what they were saying…probably some racist crap about her having a “ghetto” hairstyle or some nonsense like that.
Alex, I see your point. I completely understand where you’re coming from.
But at the same time, I see it like this…it was picture day. She wanted to have a cute, fun, special look.
Society does perceive Black children in an unkind manner. But a 7-year-old should not be the subject of ridicule by adults who should know better. I don’t care if she has candy in her hair. It just isn’t cool to make fun of a little kid.
I don’t like seeing little boys of all races with mohawks, but I would never mock them. It seems that most of the onus is being placed on the little girl and her mother instead of shifting the responsibility where it belongs. Whether the child’s hairstyle is “ghetto” or not, the teacher crossed the line. She is the adult in this situation.
Some Black American parents give their children very, um, “creative” names. Some style their children in ways that others disapprove of. I see your point about how society tends to view these children and their parents. We are ALL judged based on appearances and unfortunately, Black people tend to have the worst assumptions made about them. So in a sense it is better to avoid calling attention to oneself and just blend in.
The only problem with that is that it’s boring. Besides, she is only 7…she should be able to express creativity through any medium, including candies in her hair on picture day. She wasn’t hurting anyone. It sounds pretty cute to me. Plenty of little Black girls wear sparkly barrettes and colorful beads or ribbons in their hair. She wanted to put Jolly Ranchers in her hair that day.
The teacher, on the other hand, did hurt and offend this child’s mother. She might have thought Ukailya’s hair looked silly but that is an opinion she should have kept to herself. Facebook is not as private as we might believe. When I first joined, I needed to fix my privacy settings because certain people were all up in my business. There’s no way in the world I would post somebody’s picture on there and ridicule them for all my friends to see.
I appreciate this post on a couple of different levels. I love that you pointed out that, as adults, we are in positions of power over children. When we apologize to them for our mistakes we are teaching them that it is okay to say “I’m sorry.” and accept responsibility for their actions when they hurt others. This is a lesson that many adults could, clearly, stand to learn.
I certainly hope there is some disciplinary action taken against that teacher. She had no business posting photos of a student on her FB page, it’s a complete violation and just plain creepy. As for calling her a “good teacher,” well, I think she’s certainly shown otherwise regardless of what her track record may say.
My first reaction was also like Alex’s, like, “wait – she has what in her hair?” But then, I had to check myself. I probably would not have sent my daughter to school with candy in her hair, but what really is the harm in it? It’s fun, for one day, for a picture. Why do we call that “ghetto”? Why did I have such a reaction against it? Does my reaction really reflect something about Ukailya and her mother, or does it reflect something about ME? I’m betting on the latter.
We so often get caught up in our preferences and tastes and believe that because WE prefer them, then they must be “proper” or “right” and what other people like, especially people who are in lower socioeconomic classes than us, are some who less high brow, “ghetto,” “class-less,” “tacky,” whatever. It’s really just an illusion, a way for us to justify our preferences and our cultural domination over others. This teacher, in my opinion, should be more than disciplined; she should be fired. Go teach somewhere else. She should not be teaching this child anymore, or children like her in this school district. She has shown what she thinks of them. There is no way she can provide the type of emphatic learning this community deserves.
It is so absolutely inappropriate for a teacher to talk about a student on any social media or blog without parental permission, let alone post a picture. It doesn’t matter if the talk is positive or negative (it MATTERS but in either case it’s wrong). Most districts in our area have clear policies to this effect but we are in Silicon Valley so perhaps technology is more on the forefront of people’s minds here. As a former public school employee, I think the combination of the child’s photo on a social media site PLUS that a beautiful seven-year-old was held up for racist and classist ridicule…it’s way WAY more than bad judgment and warrants serious action on the part of the district. That teacher needs some significant education about cultural sensitivity and about privacy/internet usage. And she absolutely should issue a formal apology to the child and her parents. I am totally appalled by her behavior. If the district doesn’t have a policy about this, they need to make one.
No teacher or anyone really should expect privacy on SOCIAL NETWORK SITES, period! The purview of adults, really? When teens have gotten in trouble (as they should) for threats, cyberbullying, drug/alcohol use, etc.? When people have been fired because their boss read the wrong comment about their job, or noted that they were playing Farmville on worktime?
The rule of thumb of every teacher I know is that Facebook and MySpace are bad news, because as adults, we do have that position of authority, we are NOT students’ friends, and we have an obligation of objectivity. If a teacher inadvertently sees a pic or reads a post that implies illicit activity, they’re under obligation to report it. Most teachers I know do not friend high school students until they’re of age and graduated, and they don’t friend grade schoolers. Also, many maintain a pseudonym page for friends/social networks, etc. (As do other people I know who work in high-security jobs), and a teacher page specifically for students and/or classes, etc.
Aside from “privacy” concerns, the teacher should never post a picture without permission, and definitely shouldn’t be making harsh comments. It’s just WRONG. I wonder what else this teacher thinks about her students, but doesn’t bother to post about. That kind of two-faced-ness always comes back to bite you at the end.
I have the harshest view that the teacher should be fired because her behavior opens the school up to lawsuits, and because her behavior isn’t conductive to being a teacher. She represents the school in public spaces, whether she wishes to be that representative or not. People are using Facebook and Twitter as if they are the same as in-person private conversations that are out of ear-shot of the person being talked about.
Having seen the photo that was posted of the child (via another article about this), I have seen identical hairstyles done with barrettes just not candy — and I have no objection to the hairstyle. I object to the candy and feel the teacher should be fired.
Co-sign with Lyonside. I’m not a teacher, but my husband has been for 16 years. There are some things you just don’t do.
And hwar is correct as well. I really feel for the little girl…but I’m not sure if her mother should have told her about the teacher’s actions. This is a matter that should be handled by adults. It can hurt a 7-year-old deeply to know that her teacher, a person she trusts, would do something like this.
Another thought…do we know for sure what the teacher’s race/ethnicity is? I assume she is White, but maybe not. I know that some White teachers can be very insensitive about these things but I wonder if we’re just assuming that she is White. She could be a POC who is somewhat elitist and looks down on others with unique hairstyles or clothing. Can anyone fill me in?
On barrettes vs. candy…I’m thinking that most likely she wears barrettes to school on a daily basis. The Jolly Ranchers were just a special “treat” (no pun intended) for one day.
I guess it’s a matter of individual taste. I like nail art, some find it tacky. I’m interested in beauty and style, others could care less about those things. I think Ukailya’s hairdo is cute and creative, but I know that not everyone will feel the same way about it.
Different strokes for different folks…too bad the teacher couldn’t accept that.
I for one didn’t assume the teacher was white – it really doesn’t matter. Some of the harshest indictments I’ve heard about black children have come from black adults. Brown adults towards black children can be just as bad. After all, we live in a racist society, and we’re soaking in it (h/t Shakesville) – we all pick it up, mostly subliminally, if we reject the obvious/ easy racial judgments.
I completely agree that the teachers behavior was inappropriate. It was simply poor judgement and as an *adult* she should have known that posting a picture of a child who is not your own onto facebook is a recipe for disaster.
Further, I agree that making fun of black children for their hair is traumatizing, and should not be done especially by authority figures (parents, teachers, etc)
However, I have to wonder: what exactly about this story says racism? None of the Facebook comments were racist. They simply thought the child’s hair was ridiculous. It seems to me that we are projecting racism onto the teacher because we as POCs think that “this is something that only black people would do.” Honestly, i cannot imagine some little blonde haired, blue eyed, fair skinned white girl with jolly ranchers in her hair not getting made fun of for her “unique self expression.”
As POCs we need to be judicious about when we play the race card because if we play it when there is barely even the implication of racism, it loses all efficacy in situations where racism is actually occurring.
But just to be clear: whether or not the teachers actions were racist has no bearing on whether own not this was an instance of bad judgement on the teachers part. The teacher should never thought that was appropriate. Whether the teacher should be fired for that kind of carelessness is a separate question.
I would disagree that this should not be viewed as an example of racism. Making fun of a child’s hair in itself may not be racist (although it is clearly inappropriate at best and, in my opinion, a serious breach of trust and responsibility). However hair and hairstyling is not a race-neutral issue. When a hair style that is a classically African American style (albeit with added candy) is mocked, even if the teacher did not intend to be racist, she is showing extreme insensitivity (or worse) in not being aware of the connotations of demeaning a hair style of a black child. Other commentators have shown that African American hair is not viewed impartially by society has a whole, and this should have been taken into account by the teacher.
Personally I don’t really understand why anyone cares if she put candy in her hair. She’s 7 years old for heaven’s sake! What, do we want her to be pinning her hair back and concentrating on the finance pages of the newspaper? What does it matter? I have worn candy necklaces myself as a teenager and beyond. It’s fun! And that’s what childhood, maybe even some of adulthood, is meant to be about. My daughters would LOVE to be able to do that with their hair, and I agree with those who say that we should celebrate and enjoy this aspect of African American hair.
OnBallance…except that this isn’t about playing the race card.
People are free to hold opinions, even if their opinions are stupid and offensive. But like Miranda said, hair is not a race-neutral issue. I agree with her.
I don’t relax my hair because I want to. I do it because it is difficult to be treated with respect in this city, where people are quick to fire the “N” word at me and give me the side-eye because I look different. I know firsthand that it’s not just hair…especially not if you’re Black or biracial/multiracial, as I happen to be. Anything that a Black girl or woman does with her hair is given scrutiny.
It’s fine if the teacher believes that the little girl’s hair looks ridiculous. But you know what? You seem to have missed the point of this piece. I’m not trying to be snarky. I’m just saying that Black women have always, to some extent, battled with racist stereotypes about who they are and what they “should” be like. No other group of women in America has been mocked and clowned in the way that Black women have. This is nothing new. It has been happening for centuries.
This little girl is at an age where lots of little Black girls start to internalize ideals of beauty based on Whiteness, or close approximations of Whiteness. She wanted to feel cute. She wanted to feel pretty. She thought the hairstyle was cute and wanted her mother to fix her hair that way. I’m sure this will open up a new conversation about femininity and beauty standards…but the fact is that Black femininity and White femininity have always been treated very differently by society.
Maybe the hairstyle is ugly or weird by “normal” conventional White standards (that some POC have internalized), but to this little girl it was cute. Afro puffs, curls, cornrows with beads, twists, braids with candy on the ends…all ways to express creativity and flair and individuality. It is a way for her to feel unique and pretty in a society that emphasizes long, straight hair. Black women have always had two choices in American society…they can either try to fit in by adopting more conservative “white” modes of appearance and behavior, or they can simply love themselves without feeling the need to conform to those standards.
They can create their own standards of beauty in a society that deems them unfeminine, unattractive, and unworthy. I think this is at the root of the piece. Many Black girls and women have been subjected to hurtful commentary about their hair or other physical attributes. Essentially, this teacher is guilty of doing that to this child. She was entitled to her opinion. She was NOT entitled to post this child’s picture on a social network site, leaving her open to the mockery of adults.
From my perspective, it is both racist AND classist. It’s a pretty rotten thing to do.
So nothing can be said about a black girl’s hair without it being racist? And nothing can be said about an ostensibly working-class black girl’s hair without it being racist AND classist? What specifically about the actions of the teacher makes t racist and/or classist besides it having happened to a little black girl who may have been from a low income family?
I am well aware that no one’s hair or body is as marginalized as that of black people and specifically black women. But this may not be an instance of that. I just wonder why do we think this besides assuming that everything that a white person does to a black person has race as a motive?
“I am well aware that no one’s hair or body is as marginalized as that of Black people and specifically Black women”.
Then it should be clear as to why the teacher’s actions were inappropriate. And for the record…no one stated that everything a white person does to a POC is racially motivated.
I know this conversation was like a month ago, but bear with me. When a white teacher singles out one of the few Black children in her class and puts the child’s picture on a social networking site so people can mock the child’s appearance/hairstyle, that is a problem. Is it the worst thing in the world? No. But it is still worth discussing.
As to your question about whether commenting on a Black girl’s hair is racist, it depends on both the comment and the context, as well as the intent behind it.
This teacher did not take the little girl’s picture and put it on Facebook because she thought it was cute. Her friends obviously did not find the little girl cute either, based on the derogatory comments they made.
Maybe I have an emotional response to this because I understand how painful it can be when people ridicule you and belittle you based on things beyond your control. I grew up being told that I was ugly and inferior because of my “nappy” hair. I know that I’m not the only one who has experienced this.
This is why I refuse to give the teacher a pass and just get over it. We already have too many people trying to shame little Black girls (of every hue, not just the dark ones) into hating themselves and believing that they are ugly. No one can convince me that she is completely unaware of what she did.