The Crunk Feminist Collective has a thoughtful post up about breast feeding and feminism. The piece also touches on the messages we send young girls about mothering.
Dolls and doll-play have been a long-standing point of entry into discussions about the social construction of race and gender. My mother and grandmother certainly invested in all of the latest doll trends of the 1980s when I was a child—I had Cabbage Patch, Kid Sister (though he’d deny it, my cousin Chad had a My Buddy doll and lots of masculine “action figures”), Black Barbie, anatomically correct newborn twins, and the coveted Betsey Wetsey, which peed all over my bestfriend Amanda’s bedspread at a sleepover.
In my Intro to Women’s Studies classes, pointing to the gendered implications of toy choice—i.e. little girls are given dolls and little boys trucks or trains—opens my students eyes to just how early gender socialization starts.
Enter the breastfeeding doll.
My first reaction when I saw the video was “Oh, hell no! My future daughter will not be socialized to think about her breasts’ mothering potential before she even grows them.” Just like I won’t teach my daughter that the sole function of her period is to make her capable of becoming someone’s mama. Her breasts tell her things about her own health and development. They also can be a source of pleasure, both cosmetic and sexual. Her menstrual cycle, not just her period, is about the whole of her sexual and reproductive health. Her vagina both eliminates waste and facilitates pleasure. I don’t want my future daughter’s self-conception to be reduced to or primarily shaped by her female anatomy and its biological functions. Read more…
my objection to a breastfeeding doll – to the extent that I have one, which is not much – is that it’s unnecessary and therefore I see it as a way to make $$ for some corporation and this sparks off my anti-capitalism streak.
Let me explain. I say that the breastfeeding doll is unnecessary because many children (boys and girls, in my experience) use their dolls and stuffed animals or other toys to pretend to breastfeed. Obviously, they do this because they experience/see their mothers (or other mothers) breastfeeding them or siblings, other children. Children’s play often re-creates stuff that happens in non-play. For example, my (2.5 year old) daughter’s favorite game is to pretend to put us or her dolls/toys to sleep: “Close your eyes!” She puts a blankie over me/doll and pats my back. Similarly, she recently pulled down her t-shirt and pretended to breastfeed her toy piggy. As far as I am concerned this is a completely natural form of play. I don’t think there needs to be a doll that is specifically geared toward breastfeeding.
However, the usual objections to the doll come from the perspective that it’s inappropriate (“gross!”) for anyone to breastfeed or to allow children to know that they have breasts or something. And I object to THAT. Such that in the end, I come down on the side of thinking the doll is fine and dandy if someone wants to get it for their daughter OR son, that’s cool. I won’t be getting it for my daughter but that doesn’t mean I don’t think other people shouldn’t.
As far as the idea that the doll is teaching my daughter (or anyone else’s) that her breasts have a singular purpose – that of providing milk for an infant/toddler – well, that supposes one is not teaching her anything else about her body or sexuality. Which for me, is simply not true. Right now my daughter regards my breasts as those things that used to give her milk, because that was a larger part of her life (she was breastfed for 30 months, something plenty of people find “gross” in and of itself) but this won’t be true for long. I also don’t think one has to wait to teach/learn about your body until the breasts are grown– we all have nipples after all, so learning about them is perfectly appropriate.
Those are the off the top of my head thoughts. I’m not even getting into the thoughts about breastfeeding as that’s much too long and mothering a toddler who is awake does not give me the time to write it all down right now!
How about the breastfeeding doll is not about gender socialization? Breasts produce milk. That’s what they do (among other things). But in relation to babies, they provide comfort and milk. I don’t think this is about the messages we send young girls about mothering. It’s about human anatomy and what different parts of the body do. To have a baby doll that does NOT breastfeed sends another message. Where would the “neutral” ground be? What would a baby doll look like that didn’t send a message to young girls about mothering?
In response to the other things talked about on the CFC, one does not need to breastfeed to be a “good” feminist. I might not be able to breastfeed my next child due to medication. I stopped breastfeeding my second at 8 months because I was exhausted. I’m still a pretty feisty feminist, as I define it.
@ turtlebella – I pretty much agree with everything you said. Nonetheless, I found the issues raised after the jump thought-provoking and well argued enough to cause me to examine my own attitudes about breastfeeding, choice, and social pressures and conclude that I have some work to do.
@ B.C. – Thank you.
Yes, Janine, I agree! It was definitely a vastly more thought-provoking essay than anything else I had ever read about the doll (which always seemed to come down to “this is beautiful!” or “this is disgusting!” or breastfeeding/feminism.
It’s funny about the idea that formula may be more convenient than breastfeeding. I think that’s a fairly false idea analogy. EXCEPT when you bring pumping into the equation. Which I am absolutely and utterly convinced is a real problem for women who cannot or do not stay home with their children. And I didn’t really see her address the corporate interests involved in WIC and the historical (and still prevalent) pushing of formula. So for me, that’s something to consider when discussing breastfeeding vs. formula. Do I think it’s appropriate for the government to *mandate* breastfeeding (via WIC, etc.)? No. But I don’t think it’s appropriate for the government to work so closely with Nestle, etc. to encourage formula feeding either. But that may be my anti-corporate/anti-capitalism perspective more than anything else.
I don’t have my thoughts very organised and I’m not sure I can exactly articulate what’s bothering me about all this but it’s about the pretend adult breasts that come with the doll. If someone gave my daughter very “gendered” dress-up adult shoes and purses and whatever, I’d roll my eyes. But if someone gave her dress-up adult breasts (clothed or not), I’d flip the f- out. And adding a doll to the dress-up breasts does not make it any better (maybe it even makes it worse) because the message is easily that adult breasts are “okay” when they also came with a nursing baby. I dunno, maybe someone can make the case that this is a good body-awareness teaching tool but I’m not getting it.
And hell no, a mother does not need to want to breastfeed to be a good feminist or a good mother.
Kerry,
It is somewhat bizarre, I agree–but they’re not really recognizable as adult breasts. It’s just that smock thingy, right? Or am I missing something.
All,
I guess I find it strange that there has to be a particular doll–if a child sees women breastfeeding and is interested in imitating them, he/she will do so with any old doll, maybe even a stuffed animal. In that way, this doll (and its marketing) feels like it has an agenda, and that gives me the willies.
I agree the doll is unnecessary – my daughter pretend-breastfed her dolls just fine when I was breastfeeding her brother. Unfortunately, between NICU stints where formula is required, induction medicine that kept me bedbound after birth, pumping, and high blood pressure (and maybe good old fashioned genetics – my grandmother had issues BFing too), I could not breastfeed either of my kids past about 10weeks. So it’s touchy for me – I WANT my daughter (and son) to get positive messages about BFing – but I don’t want them to get it from a doll, and certainly NOT from thinking that BFing/having breasts = being a woman, exclusively.
Just yesterday, my neighbors were hanging out outside. I needed to check with them about something anyway, and one of the moms mentioned that her 5 year old daughter looked like she was getting breasts already. We were all a bit appalled, of course, but I suggested maybe it was just fat deposits, and it didn’t mean she was growing. The 5 year old chirped in that she wanted them because she wanted a bra. I told her bras can be hot and uncomfortable and itchy and sometimes even causing rashes if they’re not worn right, but to no avail. This kid already tries to flirt with boys and is acting a little too grown. Being tall and very social and verbal and looking about 7 or 8 doesn’t help. She does not need ANY incentive to want to grow up faster.
Another beef: last time I checked, motherhood was not magic, it was WORK. And so is breastfeeding – WORK, even for the moms I know who had much less difficulty than I did. Way to trivialize motherhood and women in general, marketing gurus.
First off, I read a lot of comments before watching the video and they were all very interesting. Then, I watched…..
Aaaargh! What exactly is the difference between this ad and one showing a little girl vacuuming and cooking “like mama should”?
Even if it’s nice to show that breastfeeding is normal, the fact that this doll is promoted in such a manner makes me want to throw it out the window as fast as possible. Hello, girly girl pink flowery things let’s put on a fake bra ?! and pretend being a “good mother”?????
I have breastfed my 3yr-old son since birth but not because I’m a “good mother”. It just felt right and surely having a lactation specialist at hand played a huge part in keeping it up (and being too tired to wake up and prepare bottles at 4am).
Breastfeeding is very personnal, as many comments have stated. Some of my friends have decided not to do it, others did it for 3-4 months or longer. Eventhough I do believe they are missing on something quite unique (when it’s been explained to you, not painful, certainly not mandatory..), I think, ultimately, making your own choices makes you a good mother.
And not all of us women have a choice, as “bfp” writes. And a mother’s milk is the most appropriate food for a baby. And many feminists believe breastfeeding is a means of alienating women. I live in France and the false ideas that are prominent here regarding breastfeeding amongst women (and men) give me the very strong impression that breastfeeding could actually be a way for women to regain control over a part of their body that has been colonized for too long.
But I would never try to make a mom feel guilty over not breastfeeding. A mom has a thousand equality issues to handle. My body, my decision, was it ?
heh, as usual, bfp hits the ball way on out of the park (thanks for mentioning that she had commented on the original post, Deby). Certainly, as a Latina, I feel a lot of what she is saying…
Lyonside, precocious puberty can be caused by external environmental triggers that are causing girls as young as 5 to develop breasts and get a menstrual period. A child like her would be benefitted by an evaluation by an endocrinologist to rule out other non-environmental causes. Doctors have been able to stop the puberty due to it showing up too early. Just passing along info.
Thanks, Alex – I’ll bring it up with my neighbor. It may be nothing (I mean, it’s really COULD be fat deposits, although she’s a skinny kid, because she’s due for a growth spurt, chronologically), but it COULD be an endocrine issue, you’re right. They don’t LOOK like breasts to me (yet), but since her mom and our other neighbor are concerned, then I’ll talk to them. Although in general, whether because of environmental chemicals mimicking hormones, or better nutrition/health care, (or as I suspect, all of the above) the overall age of puberty has been decreasing for years. There may be nothing we can do about that.